In the morning, I say goodnight.
In the evening, you say good morning.
I am learning to tell time with four hands
so that I know where I’m supposed to be
and then how soon I can say “hey”
without disrupting your sleep.
Its only been a couple weeks
since we’ve been talking like a couple
without labeling.
Now if I go a day without messaging,
I start shaking and scratching where needle marks would be
if there were a street name for whatever it is
I’ve been taking.
Nearly three years
of mixed signals and missed opportunities
prove how unfair life can be
like a lottery ticket off by two digits.
We could have met in 2006,
while attending the same out of state college.
We could be married by now, with a big yard and two adopted kids.
We could have both acknowledged a connection years back,
working at the same non-profit agency
whether you were single or not...
But, for some reason, life or my shit nerves said,
“Nah, let’s wait it out”.
I’d sell my soul to the devil
to know what I do now.
“All you had to do was take me outside”
She says, too late to make a difference.
“I’m just another being”, she excused so humbly;
not knowing how long she’s been in my head
like a tumor about to hemorrhage.
She’s just being honest
and makes me cry.
I’m just joking and make her mad.
The price of being out of sync
a hundred thousand miles apart,
like a cell phone signal that splits your voice into halves
for traveling too far from a tower.
From here
there is a clear imbalance of power.
You want something and i give it you
without asking for a thing in exchange.
So, afraid that you’ll take from me,
the one the thing in this world that makes me happy;
you, yourself.
We’d have to trade mind and body
for her to ever fully appreciate
how fucking beautiful she is to me.
What I’d do and give
to spend a lifetime together the way people used to
before cheating became as easy as typing
and leaving less work than loyalty.
What’s the distance from New York to Malaysia?
Probably equal to the miles between my heart and yours
before you left.
At times we read to each other from the same page,
the next day,
we are chapters apart in the same book.
From here,
I can only love you in poems.
I can only fuck you with words.
There may come a day, this year
when someone speaks just enough English
and has just enough change for another beer
that you’ll forget i could even do that much.
While I wait here, in vain,
for you to come home.
I don’t know how long this will last.
How long she will need me
like a life jacket in choppy waters
or candlelight in the dark.
So, I just keep picking up the phone,
like pennies turned upside down in the road. _________________ shemovesme.wordpress.com
Fri Jan 31, 2014 6:59 pm
MysteryGirl Moderators
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder
Oh, those long distance relationships... I don't envy you one bit Brach, been there, done that, never want to do it again.
Still, like the voyeur to your life that I am I thrill to your economy of words....
From here,
I can only love you in poems.
I can only fuck you with words.
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