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Poetry Forum Index -> Nature Poetry

Wolves we are [F]

LifeVita6
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Shadowheart



Joined: 13 Aug 2007
Posts: 17
Location: where am i again?
Wolves we are [F]

In my eyes a fire burns,
Slick and black my fur does wave,
The air I exhale turns into a howl of freedom,
Freedom to do as I wish to do and how,
My pack howls back to me in boundless joy,
A chorus filled with energy and unison,
We sing to the stars, the moon,
We sing to the oceans and air,
We sing the rage of life away,
And welcome love and serenity abundant,
Mighty we are! Mighty we always stand!
And you can love a creature of freedom!
_________________
Away in the morning, back at dusk,
the silence to greet me, as I feel lonely without you, I can't find peace, in a wall of stone and chains, I’ve finally found a higher aim!

Post Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:13 pm 
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Eiregirl



Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 10230
Location: Chasing a pink bunny


Shadowheart,

Welcome to Mels and thank you for sharing this poem with us.

I really enjoyed reading it and think it is a very nice poem.

You asked for some feedback...I don't have much time these days to give in great indepth feedback but maybe one day I will be able to do that. For the moment however...

In this line "A chorus filled with energy and unison," I think I would have made two lines out of that by spliting "energy" and "unison" into lines of their own.

In this line "And welcome love and serenity abundant," I think I would switch the words "serenity abundant" around to ready "abundant serenity".

Overall though I love this poem...love the subject and the imagery it creates.

Hugs,
Eiregirl Arrow
_________________
All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.

Post Mon Aug 13, 2007 11:24 pm 
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smart_cookie



Joined: 12 Aug 2006
Posts: 2310
Location: USA


Shadowheart,

Wolves are a wonderful subject and I like your poem, though I have no nuts and bolts feedback for you, forgive me.

Welcome to Mels!

Arrow

Cookie

Post Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:54 am 
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