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Poetry Forum Index -> Humorous Poetry

How to Kiss

LifeVita6
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ae



Joined: 17 Sep 2006
Posts: 1025
Location: that tragic backwater, the gulf coast of florida
How to Kiss

How to kiss?
She wants to know--too much!
Begging me for guidance
That must be conveyed without touch
Strictly verbal instruction on
An essentially sensual skill.
It might be absurd were she not
So earnest and strong-willed!
Or please, at least,
How NOT to kiss
--The slurping sounds
--The slobbering drool
--The tonsil-tickling lingual probe
--The airy, barely-touching fool
How might she avoid
The myriad permutations
Of kissing catastrophe
In her teenage explorations?

Must I really explain at all?
She wants to learn what she thinks she missed
But I’m skeptical of her need to know
And yet—the opportunist…

Very well.
Here are the simple secret truths:
--Do not unto your beloved
That which seems yucky to you
--Stay mindful and participate
Passivity is a mistake
--Brush often and thoroughly
Especially clean your gums
--Do not use profanity
It sours the sweetest tongue.
And remember, no matter how artful your skill,
No matter how well you may learn all of this,
Never put a cigarette or penis in your mouth.
These things will ever after destroy your precious kiss.
_________________
-
-
-
"...a soul that wakes up to find itself wandering, unwanted, between the spheres."

Post Fri Apr 17, 2009 10:03 pm 
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Dark prism



Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 865
Location: California Dreamin, baby.


Very good and proper motherly advice.

I'm afraid my precious kiss may have been destroyed. Embarassed

Yes........back in high school....... I... I... smoked for a short time.

I feel so ashamed. Embarassed

Strange though....I haven't had any complaints! LOL

Great job again, ae.



Dp
_________________
"Fighting for this girl - on the battlefield of love."

Post Sat Apr 18, 2009 9:13 am 
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Moonshine



Joined: 16 Jan 2008
Posts: 470


Never put a cigarette or penis in your mouth.

Omyg I absolutely creased up at this - laughing wonderful!
_________________
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return. --Leonardo da Vinci--

Post Sat Apr 18, 2009 11:44 am 
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smart_cookie



Joined: 12 Aug 2006
Posts: 2310
Location: USA


I love it.

Post Wed Aug 12, 2009 8:30 pm 
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