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Poetry Forum Index -> Love Poetry

observation of beauty(f)

LifeVita6
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sammi



Joined: 13 Aug 2006
Posts: 8
Location: USA
observation of beauty(f)

I conceive beauty as a silhouette softly dancing in the moonlight
gracefully she grows
looking in her eyes words cannot begin to show what it is I see
seems an overflowing kindness, a soft sensuous heart,
a soul rising to the occassion.
I wish to look away, yet... am drawn in closer
enchanted with dreams, reminded of a warmth I felt as a child
seeing a simple gimpse of her shadow, I am at once captivated,
captured, with just sight no words, not a single touch
I am bewildered by such presence
a certain admiration comes across
though i feel consumed and unable to fully express what beauty she possess's
I am only in wonder as to what more lies deeper
that which I cannot read into her eyes
that which has brought the attention to go forth
to expand, to embrace and maybe to follow
whatever, wherever this journey shall aspire to take me
for in her, in her eyes she has grasped my soul, angel of my heart
someday, somewhere hence I shall not aain, I feel perceive such beauty
so I shall hold this moment tightly bound upon myself
cherishing that which I have felt, that which has wrapped itself around me,
intertwined into my spirit, my presense, my life....beauty.

Post Thu Nov 12, 2009 11:16 pm 
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Eilidh
Moderators


Joined: 09 Apr 2005
Posts: 1880


Sammi,

Your imagery here depicts something hauntingly familiar, yet just out of grasp's reach. My only suggestion, if you'd like, would be to fit the lines to more of a standard form or pattern (but no, not rhyming!)

I do have one question: In the 4th to last line: "I shall not aain", is "aain" supposed to be "again"?

Thank you for sharing.

~Eilidh

Post Thu Nov 26, 2009 12:44 am 
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BdeCaunteton



Joined: 07 Jan 2007
Posts: 1063
Location: Iowa City, IA


Wow. Wow, Sammi, I have no words. It's that good.
_________________
“It would be a pity of lesbians and gay men retreated into the same kind of cultural separatism. " - Jeanette Winterson

www[dot]bdecauntetonspoetry[dot]webs[dot]com

Post Mon Nov 30, 2009 3:05 am 
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