Joined: 04 Sep 2008
Posts: 4
Location: Olympia, WA
How to make a lover
Not Quite Shelly
Whereupon, a weird demented time
Within my mind not long ago
There came to me an insane scheme
Amidst a haze of sweet Bordeaux
I would end all my lonely days
My cold feet nights alone in bed
Oh what a ghoulish pretty thing
Crawled out from inside my head
I would make a faithful lover,
Use a Shelly dream design
I’ll take my time and stitch ma Boo
My lady true, Miss Frankenstein
For eyes, it's Scandinavia
I’m rather fond of Nordic blue
Afterwards, a ship to Ireland
To scalp a redhead, maybe two
Then where to find the perfect nose
A feature, for which I'm picky
I like a nose slanted upwards
But not pointed or persnickety
And lips, her precious lips to kiss
Parisian lips, dipped sweet in wine
I’ll take my time and stitch ma Boo
My lady true, Miss Frankenstein
I found her legs, shapely slender
While watching a lingerie review
And pruned a tall nightie vendor
Of arms to match, oh what a coup
Alas’, I need a perfect ass
A round and perky cheeked derriere
Perhaps, a stout hard working lass
A maid who earns her daily fair
Then feet, a eight or nine size shoe
A dancer from a chorus line
I’ll take my time and stitch ma Boo
My lady true, Miss Frankenstein
I love a pair of swaying breasts
That feigns escape as they jiggle
The way they shake atop a dress
Enkindled, I often giggle
I know a place that tickles me
The Moulin Rouge is misbehaving
And bosoms fly so very free
Who’ll care, a pair aren’t waving
I’ll bait with roses, quote a rhyme
Mesmerize, as I often do
I’ll take my time and stitch ma Boo
My lady true, Miss Frankenstein
I bagged a brain at Harvard law
A woman should be worldly read
Instead of spouting tra-la-la
Oh, now I need an empty head
Perhaps, below the City of Light
The underground Empire of the Dead
Deep beneath a romantic night
A search will find a perfect head
The catacombs were smelly, pew
But, I did snatch a skull quite prime
I’ll take my time and stitch ma Boo
My lady true, Miss Frankenstein
One other part and I’ll be done
Down south between her silky thighs
A scavenger hunt sounds like fun
To ferret a puss not oversized
It’s not that I’m tightly tucked
I’ve had my share of ins and outs
An ear of corn, I’m surely shucked
Of this, I hold no hopeful doubts
There's ways to tightened up loose screws
A honeymoon knot will work just fine
I’ll take my time and stitch ma Boo
My lady true, Miss Frankenstein
To my surprise, when came the time
Every piece was a perfect fit
My faithful lover, looked sublime
Once I tied my final stitch
I waited for the perfect storm
When lightning sizzled in the air
I pulled the switch, and saw her twitch
Then something happened so unfair
She bolted upright with a start
Her red eyes glowing like a witch
I had been sold Dr. Laura’s heart
My lover, was a right wing bitch
Oh well, every plan has glitches
I’ll simply unravel all her stitches _________________ One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place.
Emily Dickinson (1830 - 1886)
Mon May 31, 2010 4:15 pm
MysteryGirl Moderators
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, gotta watch those hearts, they can be the most important part. Absolutely hillarious Clairdel, well written
HugZ, MG _________________ Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!
Tue Jun 01, 2010 12:45 am
Daxxena
Joined: 22 Nov 2009
Posts: 7
Hilarious ROFL
Tue Jun 01, 2010 3:42 am
PipSqueak
Joined: 04 Jul 2008
Posts: 987
Location: S.W. England
Tue Jun 01, 2010 11:27 pm
melons Site Admin
Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 2371
WOW!
Absolutely fabulous! I was totally hooked from beginning to end by your extremely clever, deliciously worded poem
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