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Poetry Forum Index -> Humorous Poetry

MEL'S CHANGING
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LifeVita6
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Mdm Prez



Joined: 19 May 2005
Posts: 1536
Location: U.S. of A.
MEL'S CHANGING

Yesterday the love of my life
Tells me she has news
She thinks she's starting menopause
And she also has the blues

'You're very young for this my sweet'
I say to her with love
She says 'No, it can happen now'
So treat her with kid gloves

Well 'what to expect' I ask then
Vaginal dryness can occur
Coupled with a weak libido
'Oh great' I say to her

She continues with more details
Her breasts might actually shrink
Her labia could atrophy
All that and the kitchen sink

I find it very, very sexy
That she's fulfilling her womanhood
But there are solutions here, I know
Don't worry, it'll all be good

I can coax her libido back to life
How much fun can that be
Say goodbye to vaginal dryness
A gallon drum of lube, you'll see

Her breasts are quite ample now
A little shrinkage will go unseen
Of course there's always padded bras
For that she won't be so keen

Botox for the labia
To get that back to size
Menopause is no big deal
How did I get so wise

Can't wait until she reads this
Don't worry a hair on your head
Honey I've sorted this all out
You can just go back to bed
_________________
If you're not getting the answers you want,
you're not asking the right questions.

Post Tue Jul 24, 2007 7:06 pm 
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fortheloveofagood...
Site Admin


Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Posts: 2216
Location: loves land of plenty


LMFAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am just Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

Kx
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-----------------------------------------------------

'don't hate your enemies, it clouds your judgement'

~peace comes from knowing only love is real~

Post Tue Jul 24, 2007 9:56 pm 
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cjerbear



Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 309
Mdm

LOL.....wise advice for those who still have that to come.......great job.

Laughing Laughing CJ
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The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. (Anna Quindlen)
chris J (CJ)

Post Tue Jul 24, 2007 11:22 pm 
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DarkChyldesKiss
Site Admin


Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 3381
Location: Inner Sanctum


Cat!

LOL! You've covered it all and are well prepared! I doubt you'll need to worry about any but its better prepared than up the creek without a paddle so to speak!

Thank you for the great laugh

Jan
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(©2001-2011+-...... darkchyldeskiss aka wyldemere )
(All works are copyrighted and protected.
DO NOT copy my writing without Permission!)

Post Tue Jul 24, 2007 11:28 pm 
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Eiregirl



Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 10230
Location: Chasing a pink bunny


Shocked vaginal dryness!!!!
Shocked shrinking boobs!!!! NOOOOOOOO they are already small enough and your telling me i have these things to looks forward to!!!

runs and hides from MDM
_________________
All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.

Post Wed Jul 25, 2007 12:03 am 
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MysteryGirl
Moderators


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder


ROTFLMAO Cat! Little did I know when you wre pumping me for info in Chat it was all directed at - a new poem!

Great Job!





Noni

Post Wed Jul 25, 2007 1:20 pm 
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Mairi bheag



Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland


* is furiously making notes *

Wink

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all posted material (c) Marie Marshall, unless otherwise stated.

Post Thu Jul 26, 2007 6:38 am 
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Allison



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida


Grins at Mdm then breaks out with roaring laughter. What next with you two? LMAO

Alli
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Alli

Post Sat Jul 28, 2007 12:10 am 
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ghost



Joined: 06 Nov 2005
Posts: 2828
Location: MIA


LMAO!

ummm alli baby, are you taking notes here??

great write, mdm.

regards
ghost
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MIA

Post Sat Jul 28, 2007 10:46 am 
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Allison



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida


Runs off to order lube. You think a gallon will be enough Mdm? Wink

Alli
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Alli

Post Sat Jul 28, 2007 4:10 pm 
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Mdm Prez



Joined: 19 May 2005
Posts: 1536
Location: U.S. of A.
4, cj, Dark, Eire, Noni, Mb, Ali, ghost

Thank you all for stopping by to read about how 'Mel's Changing'. I appreciate your replies.

Cat
_________________
If you're not getting the answers you want,
you're not asking the right questions.

Post Sat Jul 28, 2007 11:54 pm 
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Mdm Prez



Joined: 19 May 2005
Posts: 1536
Location: U.S. of A.
Ali

If the lube is on sale, you might as well get the 2 gallon size.

Cat
_________________
If you're not getting the answers you want,
you're not asking the right questions.

Post Sat Jul 28, 2007 11:55 pm 
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Mairi bheag



Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland


* purrs, from the depths of her black leather recliner, to her able assistant Dr Janet Seuss ...*

"Buy shares in lube. There's going to be a sharp rise on the stock-market, and I want MbI to be there when it happens."

"Yes, Boss," says the good Doctor.

Smile

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all posted material (c) Marie Marshall, unless otherwise stated.

Post Sun Jul 29, 2007 3:33 am 
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Mdm Prez



Joined: 19 May 2005
Posts: 1536
Location: U.S. of A.
Mb

Seems your assistant took a very large position in lube, but the wrong one. It appears she bought automotive lube. Have her make the change...still time to get on the band wagon.

Mdm Prez
_________________
If you're not getting the answers you want,
you're not asking the right questions.

Post Sun Jul 29, 2007 3:50 am 
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Mairi bheag



Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland


JANET! Get your bahooney in My office, at the double!
_________________
all posted material (c) Marie Marshall, unless otherwise stated.

Post Sun Jul 29, 2007 7:47 am 
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