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Poetry Forum Index -> Humorous Poetry

~ Welcome to My Late Night ~
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Roman



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3187
~ Welcome to My Late Night ~

** I work late nights at a hotel that is attached to a 24 hour Restaurant**

This is my story about the late night "activities"…
So hold up and listen…
As I sit here I can hear shuffling of feet against the door…yet no talking…
So out of curiousity, I fling open the door to find 2 teenage kids, bare butts to the world, scronking against the door…
I grabbed the guy by the scruff of his neck and told them to pull up thier pants and take a hike...
I saw more than I needed to that night!

Another night, I look out my window to see a drunk guy peeing on my bushes…
I go out and scream at him…
“Put that thing away, this is a family restaurant, we don’t want to see Jim and the twins”
THAT'S GROSS!

At bar rush…
I can hear people screaming,
So I run over to see what the commotion is all about…
I get jumped on by some chick…
And in her drunken haze she screams…
“Jack, will you be my friend?”
As she rubs her huge boobies all over me!
YIKES!

On a Diet coke refill run…
I am cornered by a friend of mine who had been out drinking all night…
She leans in, grabs me by my hips and sticks her tongue down my throat!
“Hey sexy bitch” she says.
I’d be damned if I can remember her name!

Last but not least…
I am on a hall check,
I look into the computer room, no one to be found…
But the washroom door is open and some guy is standing there…
Pants down to his ankles…
I start to walk away, but under his breath I can hear moaning…
So I take another look to make sure he isn’t doing something he shouldn’t be in my hotel…
Then to my surprise, he was choking his chicken in the computer room bathroom.
I was stunned!
Speechless, I kick open the door and to tell him to leave…
But all I can do is stutter out of complete disgust.
I ran away in horror…
Hoping he’d leave out of humiliation.
Only to find out he’s not staying at my hotel…
He’s a bum off the streets!
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
My poor housekeepers!
So, I tell my boss what happened as I am traumatized come the next morning...
His reaction…
“Poor Jacko, Cuz Jacko don’t like no guys!”
Needless to say, coworkers think its funny…
Cuz I see more male genitalia on my shift then a straight girl does!
So welcome to my late nights…
How may I help YOU?

~JR
_________________
© Copywrite 1998 - 2015

~ Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me ~


Last edited by Roman on Sun Jul 27, 2008 1:08 pm; edited 2 times in total

Post Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:07 am 
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BdeCaunteton



Joined: 07 Jan 2007
Posts: 955
Location: Iowa City, IA


...
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“It would be a pity of lesbians and gay men retreated into the same kind of cultural separatism. " - Jeanette Winterson

www[dot]bdecauntetonspoetry[dot]webs[dot]com


Last edited by BdeCaunteton on Sun Aug 23, 2020 8:20 am; edited 1 time in total

Post Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:10 am 
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Roman



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3187


quote:
Originally posted by BdeCaunteton:
I feel so sorry for you but why am I laughing at this at the same time? lol.


Bde -
Ahhh, dont feel bad for laughing hun...
It's actually quite funny!
Thanks for stopping by and reading!
~Cheers, Jack
_________________
© Copywrite 1998 - 2015

~ Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me ~

Post Sun Jul 27, 2008 8:53 am 
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newbeginning



Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Posts: 42


That is excellent ~ so funny.

I feel the same as BDE, very sorry for what you have to put up with but you've written about it so well.

Loved the last line!

Post Sun Jul 27, 2008 10:54 am 
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Moonshine



Joined: 16 Jan 2008
Posts: 470


Haha wonderful Jack - I'm definitely coming to throw pancakes around so I can feature in your next one!
_________________
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return. --Leonardo da Vinci--

Post Sun Jul 27, 2008 11:53 am 
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MysteryGirl
Moderators


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder


ROTFLMAO Jack!!! You certainly get to see an 'exotic' slice of life in that Hotel! Well written hon.





HugZ, Noni
_________________
Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!

Post Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:42 pm 
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Eiregirl



Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 10230
Location: Chasing a pink bunny


Roman,

Shaking my head giggling...Well Jacko...when I stop laughing please pick me up off the floor LOL

Hugs you tight
Eiregirl Arrow
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All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.

Post Mon Jul 28, 2008 1:08 am 
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Roman



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3187


quote:
Originally posted by newbeginning:
That is excellent ~ so funny.

I feel the same as BDE, very sorry for what you have to put up with but you've written about it so well.

Loved the last line!


Newb -
I am glad you liked this write!
Take good care!
~Cheers, Jack
_________________
© Copywrite 1998 - 2015

~ Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me ~

Post Mon Jul 28, 2008 6:17 am 
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Roman



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3187


quote:
Originally posted by Jcreaturelover:
Ok, this seems like's it's an entertaining place to work Romie.... lol.... YIKES! "J"


J -
Can be scary at times too..."YIKES!"
Thanks for stopping by sweetie!
~Cheers, Jack
_________________
© Copywrite 1998 - 2015

~ Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me ~

Post Mon Jul 28, 2008 6:18 am 
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Roman



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3187


quote:
Originally posted by Moonshine:
Haha wonderful Jack - I'm definitely coming to throw pancakes around so I can feature in your next one!


Mooner -
LMFAO!
You are too funny!
~Cheers, Jack
_________________
© Copywrite 1998 - 2015

~ Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me ~

Post Mon Jul 28, 2008 6:19 am 
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Roman



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3187


quote:
Originally posted by Noni:
ROTFLMAO Jack!!! You certainly get to see an 'exotic' slice of life in that Hotel! Well written hon.





HugZ, Noni


Noni -
I am glad you enjoyed it and that it made you smile.
I had a lot of fun writing this too!
~Cheers, Jack
_________________
© Copywrite 1998 - 2015

~ Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me ~

Post Mon Jul 28, 2008 6:20 am 
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Roman



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3187


quote:
Originally posted by Eiregirl:
Roman,

Shaking my head giggling...Well Jacko...when I stop laughing please pick me up off the floor LOL

Hugs you tight
Eiregirl Arrow


*Picks Erie up off the floor and fondles her Twisted Evil *
Remember to breathe hun...
I am happy you enjoyed this write!
Take care sweets!
~Cheers, Jack
_________________
© Copywrite 1998 - 2015

~ Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me ~

Post Mon Jul 28, 2008 6:22 am 
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DamagedGoods



Joined: 13 May 2006
Posts: 550


{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Minx}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Having heard those stories first hand as they happened I am still laughing as I read this poem. Part of me feels sorry for you, most of me can't help giggling my face off at you! Though it's gross I'd much rather you deal with the grots than the violent ones!

Have a good shift babe! Laughing Wink

Arrow always, DG
_________________
All poems posted by me, unless otherwise stated, are written by me, DamagedGoods, and are ©2002-2009 and must not be used anywhere else without written permission and my copyright details in tact. Thank you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Post Thu Jul 31, 2008 10:44 am 
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Roman



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3187


quote:
Originally posted by DamagedGoods:
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Minx}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Having heard those stories first hand as they happened I am still laughing as I read this poem. Part of me feels sorry for you, most of me can't help giggling my face off at you! Though it's gross I'd much rather you deal with the grots than the violent ones!

Have a good shift babe! Laughing Wink

Arrow always, DG


LOL @ grots
Thanks for your support babe!
I love you!
I am glad my stories make you smile!
~Cheers, Jack
_________________
© Copywrite 1998 - 2015

~ Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me ~

Post Sun Aug 03, 2008 6:18 am 
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desert-fish



Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted


lol jack....I'm in sales ...and...I had a customer offer to pay me to sleep with her husband....
'nuf said...

"How may I help YOU?"
Could make a suggestion...but I will hold my tongue
Wink

Post Wed Aug 13, 2008 10:39 am 
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