lesbian poetry, lesbian poems, lesbian poem, lesbian, poetry, poems, poem, humour, humor, humorous, lesbian humour, lesbian humor, 
humorous poetry,  humorous poems, humorous poem, humorous lesbian poetry, humorous lesbian poems, humorous lesbian poem, poem submissions,
poetry submissions, poetry submission, lesbian poetry submission, lesbian poem submission, submit poetry, submit poem, submit poems, 
submit lesbian poems, submit lesbian poem, submit lesbian poetry, submit poetry, submit poems, submit poem lesbian poetry, lesbian poems, lesbian poem, lesbian, poetry, poems, poem, humour, humor, humorous, lesbian humour, lesbian humor, 
humorous poetry,  humorous poems, humorous poem, humorous lesbian poetry, humorous lesbian poems, humorous lesbian poem, poem submissions,
poetry submissions, poetry submission, lesbian poetry submission, lesbian poem submission, submit poetry, submit poem, submit poems, 
submit lesbian poems, submit lesbian poem, submit lesbian poetry, submit poetry, submit poems, submit poem lesbian poetry, lesbian poems, lesbian poem, lesbian, poetry, poems, poem, humour, humor, humorous, lesbian humour, lesbian humor, 
humorous poetry,  humorous poems, humorous poem, humorous lesbian poetry, humorous lesbian poems, humorous lesbian poem, poem submissions,
poetry submissions, poetry submission, lesbian poetry submission, lesbian poem submission, submit poetry, submit poem, submit poems, 
submit lesbian poems, submit lesbian poem, submit lesbian poetry, submit poetry, submit poems, submit poem lesbian poetry, lesbian poems, lesbian poem, lesbian, poetry, poems, poem, humour, humor, humorous, lesbian humour, lesbian humor, 
humorous poetry,  humorous poems, humorous poem, humorous lesbian poetry, humorous lesbian poems, humorous lesbian poem, poem submissions,
poetry submissions, poetry submission, lesbian poetry submission, lesbian poem submission, submit poetry, submit poem, submit poems, 
submit lesbian poems, submit lesbian poem, submit lesbian poetry, submit poetry, submit poems, submit poem
BACK TO HOME PAGE SITE NAVIGATION CONTACT STORY FORUM GENERAL FORUM   Horoscope  Radio  Gallery  FAQ   Search   Memberlist   Usergroups   Register   Profile   PM's   
Log in 

Poetry Forum Index -> Humorous Poetry

How to make a lover

LifeVita6
  Author    Thread Post new topic Reply to topic
clairdel



Joined: 04 Sep 2008
Posts: 4
Location: Olympia, WA
How to make a lover

Not Quite Shelly

Whereupon, a weird demented time
Within my mind not long ago
There came to me an insane scheme
Amidst a haze of sweet Bordeaux
I would end all my lonely days
My cold feet nights alone in bed
Oh what a ghoulish pretty thing
Crawled out from inside my head
I would make a faithful lover,
Use a Shelly dream design
I’ll take my time and stitch ma Boo
My lady true, Miss Frankenstein

For eyes, it's Scandinavia
I’m rather fond of Nordic blue
Afterwards, a ship to Ireland
To scalp a redhead, maybe two
Then where to find the perfect nose
A feature, for which I'm picky
I like a nose slanted upwards
But not pointed or persnickety
And lips, her precious lips to kiss
Parisian lips, dipped sweet in wine
I’ll take my time and stitch ma Boo
My lady true, Miss Frankenstein

I found her legs, shapely slender
While watching a lingerie review
And pruned a tall nightie vendor
Of arms to match, oh what a coup
Alas’, I need a perfect ass
A round and perky cheeked derriere
Perhaps, a stout hard working lass
A maid who earns her daily fair
Then feet, a eight or nine size shoe
A dancer from a chorus line
I’ll take my time and stitch ma Boo
My lady true, Miss Frankenstein

I love a pair of swaying breasts
That feigns escape as they jiggle
The way they shake atop a dress
Enkindled, I often giggle
I know a place that tickles me
The Moulin Rouge is misbehaving
And bosoms fly so very free
Who’ll care, a pair aren’t waving
I’ll bait with roses, quote a rhyme
Mesmerize, as I often do
I’ll take my time and stitch ma Boo
My lady true, Miss Frankenstein

I bagged a brain at Harvard law
A woman should be worldly read
Instead of spouting tra-la-la
Oh, now I need an empty head
Perhaps, below the City of Light
The underground Empire of the Dead
Deep beneath a romantic night
A search will find a perfect head
The catacombs were smelly, pew
But, I did snatch a skull quite prime
I’ll take my time and stitch ma Boo
My lady true, Miss Frankenstein

One other part and I’ll be done
Down south between her silky thighs
A scavenger hunt sounds like fun
To ferret a puss not oversized
It’s not that I’m tightly tucked
I’ve had my share of ins and outs
An ear of corn, I’m surely shucked
Of this, I hold no hopeful doubts
There's ways to tightened up loose screws
A honeymoon knot will work just fine
I’ll take my time and stitch ma Boo
My lady true, Miss Frankenstein

To my surprise, when came the time
Every piece was a perfect fit
My faithful lover, looked sublime
Once I tied my final stitch
I waited for the perfect storm
When lightning sizzled in the air
I pulled the switch, and saw her twitch
Then something happened so unfair
She bolted upright with a start
Her red eyes glowing like a witch
I had been sold Dr. Laura’s heart
My lover, was a right wing bitch

Oh well, every plan has glitches
I’ll simply unravel all her stitches
_________________
One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place.

Emily Dickinson (1830 - 1886)

Post Mon May 31, 2010 4:15 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website  Reply with quote  
MysteryGirl
Moderators


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder


ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, gotta watch those hearts, they can be the most important part. Absolutely hillarious Clairdel, well written Very Happy




HugZ, MG
_________________
Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!

Post Tue Jun 01, 2010 12:45 am 
 View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger  Reply with quote  
Daxxena



Joined: 22 Nov 2009
Posts: 7


Hilarious ROFL Laughing

Post Tue Jun 01, 2010 3:42 am 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail  Reply with quote  
PipSqueak



Joined: 04 Jul 2008
Posts: 987
Location: S.W. England


Laughing Laughing Laughing

Post Tue Jun 01, 2010 11:27 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message  Reply with quote  
melons
Site Admin


Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 2371
WOW!

Absolutely fabulous! I was totally hooked from beginning to end by your extremely clever, deliciously worded poem Smile

Loved it Smile

luv'n'hugs,

Melx

Post Sat Jun 19, 2010 2:31 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message  Reply with quote  
  Display posts from previous:      
Post new topic Reply to topic

Jump to:  


Last Thread | Next Thread  >

Forum Rules:
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
LifeVita3

 

 



Search For Posters!


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group

In Association with Amazon.com
     
Terms & Conditions Privacy Statement Acknowledgements