I look into your eyes, and I know what you're feeling.
That look you get when you're about to go off the edge.
So much anguish and pain in just a glance,
I really do know why you head to the ledge.
The hate inside you is consuming,
It takes up all your energy.
I know if you could just see clearly,
This isn't how you want it to be.
If you use all you have to hold onto the past,
What room is there for the future to come?
How can you let light and love inside,
When the darkness keeps you so numb?
I watch you now as you start to cry,
Those tears I've come to hate.
You let it become so much more than it is,
Your realization will come too late.
We've lost our family, all we've ever known,
Because of a feud that just won't die.
You wage your war and hold us hostage,
Helplessly stading by.
Choosing sides and watching the anger,
As it kills all the hope and love,
Knowing the source of your righteousness
Is crying from above.
You say we don't support you,
That we just don't understand.
But I've been right next to you the whole time,
As you fight to make your stand.
I stand by in silence, and let your wrath flow,
Watching the aftermath of your pain.
Crying inside as I see my mother push and push
Until nothing good can remain.
I love you still, that doesn't change,
As I know the ones you hate do as well.
But you're digging yourself an early grave,
And making our lives Hell.
Your illness is stress induced, yet you
Cannot let go of the anger.
And so everyone else is killing you, in your mind,
By existing they put you in danger.
I pray for you every night, that you will
Relinquish the hold this has on you.
Give me the rest of my family back...
And maybe I'll get my Mom back too.
Xalia _________________ Nobody said life would be easy...They just promised it would be worth it.
~♥♥~
~The words fail me.. because what I feel for you is beyond description...~
Wed Apr 07, 2010 4:22 am
Xalia1 Moderators
Joined: 05 May 2004
Posts: 3702
Location: In love
J,
Thank you hun, just hopin things change...although its not lookin that way.
Your hugs rock.
(((((((((((J)))))))))))))))
Hugs,
Xalia _________________ Nobody said life would be easy...They just promised it would be worth it.
~♥♥~
~The words fail me.. because what I feel for you is beyond description...~
Thu Apr 08, 2010 12:22 am
Eilidh Moderators
Joined: 09 Apr 2005
Posts: 1880
(((((((((((((Xalia)))))))))))))
I hope things change for you as well. When you come out the other side, you will be stronger for the experience of the present.
~Eilidh
Fri Apr 09, 2010 9:28 pm
Domiinae
Joined: 16 Apr 2007
Posts: 59
Location: On the journey to my heart, UK
Xalia,
I know the scene you're describing very well...we might have the same mother if I didn't know any better.
I hope things work out for you and your family - it would be a lifetime of Christmases and birthdays.
_________________ Take me to a place where I can be…
Only in my wildest dreams
Sat Apr 10, 2010 12:00 am
Xalia1 Moderators
Joined: 05 May 2004
Posts: 3702
Location: In love
Eilidh,
I'm sorry that I just now saw the response to this...
I was reading back to find this, kind of reminding myself that what has happened over the past few days was not my fault.
Thank you for your words of encouragement, they mean a lot.
Hella Hugs,
Xalia _________________ Nobody said life would be easy...They just promised it would be worth it.
~♥♥~
~The words fail me.. because what I feel for you is beyond description...~
Wed Jun 23, 2010 1:55 am
Xalia1 Moderators
Joined: 05 May 2004
Posts: 3702
Location: In love
Dom,
I'm sorry our situations are so similar.
I hope yours doesn't end up like mine has.
Thank you hun.
Hugs,
Xalia _________________ Nobody said life would be easy...They just promised it would be worth it.
~♥♥~
~The words fail me.. because what I feel for you is beyond description...~
Wed Jun 23, 2010 1:56 am
wishonastar
Joined: 23 Jan 2007
Posts: 967
Location: Where I belong
(((((((((((((((((((((X))))))))))))))))))))))))
my favorite lady (outside my Arren of ourse)
Sorry things are looking so bleak
keep your chin up and breath and call me if you need someone to just listen
Miss you tons
Star _________________ I'm not ready to let go
Cause then I'd never know
What I could be missing
But I’m missing way too much
So when do I give up, what I’ve been wishing for.
Down - Jason Woods
Wed Jun 23, 2010 2:58 pm
ae
Joined: 17 Sep 2006
Posts: 1025
Location: that tragic backwater, the gulf coast of florida
Xalia--
My mother is sick to dying from the force of her resentments. She's killed off relationships with five children, one by one. We each eventually chose to disengage from her war entirely, rather than deal with the ever-changing loyalties and having to always choose sides. I don't love her any less, but I don't worry anymore. I believe that even if she doesn't choose any differently before she dies of anger, that a loving God will receive her, and give her comprehension and peace.
My love and sympathy to you and your family.
ae _________________ -
-
-
"...a soul that wakes up to find itself wandering, unwanted, between the spheres."
Sat Jun 26, 2010 5:59 pm
Xalia1 Moderators
Joined: 05 May 2004
Posts: 3702
Location: In love
Ahh Star...
You always make me smile, just with a hug.
Thank you.
I need a bit to process...and...I'm not sure what else...
But I will call you soon.
Love & Hugs,
Xalia _________________ Nobody said life would be easy...They just promised it would be worth it.
~♥♥~
~The words fail me.. because what I feel for you is beyond description...~
Sat Jun 26, 2010 6:03 pm
Xalia1 Moderators
Joined: 05 May 2004
Posts: 3702
Location: In love
AE,
Thank you for sharing that...
I have given up...given in...whichever way you look at it...
Either way, its done. She has decided I am no longer a
part of her life, and I've decided to let her go as well.
Usually I would fight like hell to change her mind and
make everything ok again....but I just can't anymore.
I'm done.
Thank God I have a fantatic wife & friends....
We can make our own families...and I've chosen that.
Thank you again, a lot.
((((((((((((((((You))))))))))))))))))
Xalia _________________ Nobody said life would be easy...They just promised it would be worth it.
~♥♥~
~The words fail me.. because what I feel for you is beyond description...~
Sat Jun 26, 2010 6:06 pm
MysteryGirl Moderators
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder
Nothing I can say will change things so all I can give you is a hug
((((((((((((((((dear X))))))))))))))))))))))
"Friends are the family we choose".
HugZ, MG _________________ Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!
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