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Poetry Forum Index -> Humorous Poetry

SEXUAL WORDS IN MY HEAD
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LifeVita6
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Mdm Prez



Joined: 19 May 2005
Posts: 1536
Location: U.S. of A.
SEXUAL WORDS IN MY HEAD

I've had this problem
for a long time,
since I was little
I'd try to rhyme.

It's gotten worse
over the many years,
now I change words
to what I want to hear.

Stems from spending too much time in books
I read the dictionary every day;
my head is so crowded now
I don't know what to say.

My friend said she had angina
I said I'm sorry to hear that
I then thought of vagina
cried laughing, how 'bout that.

I'll give you another example
I confuse the word hiatus as well,
immediately I think coitus,
now why would that ring a bell?

When I hear the word vaporizer
well, you won't believe it
I dredge up the word vibrator
and then I think of clit.

See how this goes now
words swimming in my head
I hear ass, I think gas
and that's not good in bed.

Another one you won't believe
if you say the word granola,
this makes no sense I know
but I think of areola.

Someone says the word uvula
conjures up thoughts to me,
I think the word vulva,
see how that could be?

You say triple, I think nipple
There's cervix, pubis and breast,
I could go on forever
following this crazy quest.

Notice the words are all sexual
that I contrast, rhyme or confuse,
I suffer from malapropism
wrong words, usually humorous I use.

Double entendres could also be
the diagnosis of my disorder;
All I wish is that someday soon
I can shut out the noise and the clutter.
_________________
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you're not asking the right questions.

Post Fri Nov 04, 2005 5:43 pm 
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SWAY



Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Posts: 1560
Location: Upstate NY


Prez,

Chica, u and I follow the same line of thinking, i do this all the time.

SWAY
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Giving myself to others has made me jaded...

Post Fri Nov 04, 2005 7:12 pm 
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Mdm Prez



Joined: 19 May 2005
Posts: 1536
Location: U.S. of A.
SWAY

Thanks for stopping by to read this.

Glad to know someone else has this disorder...we'll have to form a support group.

Mdm
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you're not asking the right questions.

Post Fri Nov 04, 2005 8:34 pm 
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SWAY



Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Posts: 1560
Location: Upstate NY


Hello my name is SWAY and I cant pull my mind from the gutter.
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Giving myself to others has made me jaded...

Post Fri Nov 04, 2005 8:36 pm 
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Mdm Prez



Joined: 19 May 2005
Posts: 1536
Location: U.S. of A.
SWAY

Your reply made me laugh hysterically.

Mdm
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you're not asking the right questions.

Post Fri Nov 04, 2005 8:41 pm 
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DarkChyldesKiss
Site Admin


Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 3381
Location: Inner Sanctum


Mdm,

This is a riot and I can follow it! lol All words lead to sex! Simple as that! lol

Hugs

DarkChylde
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Post Fri Nov 04, 2005 11:35 pm 
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Mdm Prez



Joined: 19 May 2005
Posts: 1536
Location: U.S. of A.
Dark

You're right, that's where my mind is.

Good to see you Dark.

Cat
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If you're not getting the answers you want,
you're not asking the right questions.

Post Sat Nov 05, 2005 1:27 am 
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Mairi bheag



Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland


Ma'am, why do the words of my own " A brief temporary halt during a Ka journey " suddenly feel that they are vibrating in harmony?

Mb
xx

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all posted material (c) Marie Marshall, unless otherwise stated.

Post Fri Nov 18, 2005 5:23 am 
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Mdm Prez



Joined: 19 May 2005
Posts: 1536
Location: U.S. of A.
Mair

quote:
Originally posted by Mairi bheag:
Ma'am, why do the words of my own " A brief temporary halt during a Ka journey " suddenly feel that they are vibrating in harmony?

Mb
xx


Yes, Mair, that's when I first revealed to you my aberrant side, thus your poem.

Ma'am
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you're not asking the right questions.

Post Sun Nov 20, 2005 12:44 pm 
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melons
Site Admin


Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 2371
Cat


quote:
that's when I first revealed to you my aberrant side
I love the aberrant side Wink

*chuckling

Mel xx

Post Sun Nov 20, 2005 1:27 pm 
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Mairi bheag



Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland


Don't we all, Mel, don't we all! Wink

Mb
xx
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Post Sun Nov 20, 2005 2:48 pm 
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Mdm Prez



Joined: 19 May 2005
Posts: 1536
Location: U.S. of A.
Mel

Glad to hear you like my 'aberrant' side...I'll try to keep it to a minimun though...wouldn't want it all to hang out.

Catxx
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you're not asking the right questions.

Post Tue Nov 22, 2005 9:13 am 
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Mdm Prez



Joined: 19 May 2005
Posts: 1536
Location: U.S. of A.
Mair

Thanks Mair!!!

Remember when I first told you I was on hiatus and I confused it with coitus?

Cat
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you're not asking the right questions.

Post Tue Nov 22, 2005 9:14 am 
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Mairi bheag



Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland
Re: Mair

quote:
Originally posted by Mdm Prez:
Thanks Mair!!!

Remember when I first told you I was on hiatus and I confused it with coitus?

Cat


Oh do I ever!
http://www.melswebs.com/poetryboards/viewtopic.php?t=2774

Mair
xx
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Post Tue Nov 22, 2005 10:53 am 
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babylove



Joined: 14 May 2005
Posts: 151
Location: far from home
Hi

*puts hand up*

Hi my name is Babylove and i'm a gutter junkie....
My head always in the gutter and my heart in the clouds....

Is there a Dr. in the house 4 i think i need help

Thanx

*sits back down*
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Post Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:38 pm 
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