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Poetry Forum Index -> Emotional Poetry

trees

LifeVita6
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Jae



Joined: 08 Oct 2004
Posts: 188
Location: FL
trees

ai, as the wind blows
so does my mind.
frozen for eternity -
skipping over and over
to that one moment
like a scratched cd that
can't get past a certain
part.
forever spinning as if out
of control.
though i struggle to keep up my facade
i fear someone will see through me,
see the darkness.
('there is no more light..')
the brightness of my heart
having been shut off
for the bill has not been
paid
in months.
the love that had once
resided there has moved -
leaving me to
clean up the mess
left behind...

2001
_________________
"..it's the wetness I like.." - David Muel


Last edited by Jae on Sat Nov 20, 2004 1:21 am; edited 1 time in total

Post Fri Nov 19, 2004 7:36 pm 
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melons
Site Admin


Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 2371


hi Jae Wink

this is a really good poem that smacks of emotional torment. Its great how you integrate lifes little irritations into the poem

'lika a scratched cd that
can't get past a certain
part.'

because they mean so much when written into the poem, hidden meanings mean such a lot in poetry Smile

Really liked this one, thanks for sharing,

luv'n'stuff

Mel Cool

Post Sat Nov 20, 2004 12:24 am 
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Jae



Joined: 08 Oct 2004
Posts: 188
Location: FL


MEL!! Very Happy Thank you so much! It's just one of those things that I felt were a good comparison - equally irritating, you know how it is. I appreciate your comments mucho mucho mucho n stuff! Glad you liked it!!!

(So how did it go with that one 'writing' thing??)

*hugs n all that jazz* - jae
_________________
"..it's the wetness I like.." - David Muel

Post Sat Nov 20, 2004 1:26 am 
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