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The Free-less (a short story in progress) F

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Beth



Joined: 01 Jan 2008
Posts: 336
Location: Michigan
The Free-less (a short story in progress) F

Dominique woke up to the sound of running water and quickly jumped up to see where it was coming from, but in the haste to get up she forgot what she had just dreamed – it all slipped away with the sound of each mysterious drip. Lately, she began to rely on her dreams to explore a new inner world that was slowly beginning to open its doors to her. She stumbled through the bedroom doorway past the hallway where she could see a faint light coming from the basement and she thought this was strange because she hadn’t been in the basement for quite a while. She pushed the hair out of her eyes and tried to peer into the darkness to see where the light was coming from, but all she could hear was the running water but no sign of where it was coming from. As she approached the storeroom she didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary and she began to wonder if she really heard the running water after all because it suddenly stopped and she found herself in the dark feeling really stupid that she got out of bed just to find herself in the dark. She thought to herself, “Ok Dom you are really losing it now”, but I know I heard the water running she murmured to herself as she began to travel back up the stairs at a much slower pace than when she went down them just five minutes ago. From her slow walk it seemed she had been in a battle, but instead of winning she had been defeated and bore great shame instead of victory. She walked back to her bedroom to an empty bed and as she glanced around the room she noticed all the little lines and cracks of light peering through her window and wondered if maybe it was just moonlight shining through the windows in the basement.
Maybe I only dreamed about the water she thought to herself, she then got back into bed and pulled the blanket up over her head to escape the dawn of a new day knowing that eventually she would have to face it all again. For Dominique – sleep time was like a different dimension where she could discover things on her own terms and in her own way. It was the only time she really felt connected to the outside world around her, she often thought about going to sleep permanently, not to escape her daily life, but to really discover her real life that is hidden every time she wakes up. “I feel so disconnected from things in this world and this is no time to hide from problems, come on snap out of it Dom – who knows how much longer any of us will be here, and you have much too much to do before you can sleep”. There are miles to go before we rest from the gnawing ache inside our hearts that needs to believe that everything will work out for the best if we have enough faith and trust. Except, she knew that things don’t always work out the way we want or expect them to, and in the end tragedy is bigger in life than the blessings. She didn’t like to feel this way, but every now and then the feeling would come upon her like a cloak disguising her true optimistic spirit even from herself. As she lay in the bed thinking about the War in the Middle East, and all the people she never met that were dying in the streets somewhere as she lay there in the comfort of her own room, she felt smaller than a speck of dust on a particle of light. The sense of powerlessness completely took over and all she could do was lay there staring into the dark trying to understand why things seemed so important to her – why couldn’t she just relax her mind for just one night and not think about any of the world’s problems? She could never find the answer to this question, and like the mysterious running water, she could not discover why the questions still plague her no matter what she did. It is all she could think about during the day, what will happen, will there be a new world like the prophets say or will we really all just go to sleep in our own little rooms, cut off from each other lost in our own thoughts. Will some be reincarnated while others move on to other dimensions?
She longed to find her way back to the one divine thought. She secretly believed all things come from emanating outward from the center of an invisible Temple she once visited in her sleep. She saw it with her own eyes along with a book opened on a table and she heard whispers and voices telling her to read it but it was written in a language she could not read. Fingers would point at the page urging her to read, but all she could do was look at the letters frustrated by her lack of understanding. This world was much more real to her than the one where children are battered and bruised and animals lay squashed on the road still kicking and shaking from the swift death someone’s car brought to end their seemingly meaningless lives. Where women and children are sold into slavery and soldiers try to live out what is left of their lives. She could relate much better to animals and always wanted to have a farm where she could just rescue them all from the cruelty of humans. How people could just run over cats and dogs so mercilessly was always beyond her comprehension, but she took extra care not to hit anything ever. Even when birds flew in front of her car, she would try to avoid hitting them by slowing down and telling them in her mind to run away home before other mean humans come and run you over. She lived in a totally different world than others, or so she thought. What is important to other people doesn’t seem so important to her; she didn’t need material things to feel complete, she needed answers to understand why things are the way they are. Dom’s mother would cry watching the world’s events on what she called the ‘idiot box’. She could never understand how people could kill so mercilessly and so cruelly, she was saddened that after so many years of civilization nothing had really changed the human tendency of some to possess hearts of violence.
Dom went to the mirror and began to look through herself to that other person that seemed to be behind her own face – she often tries to capture this elusive figure but like so many times before, in the end she would laugh at herself for staring in the mirror and imagining such an incredibly stupid idea. But this time she heard, or rather felt the thoughts of someone else when she looked into her own eyes staring back at her. She was used to her own face changing in the mirror right in front of her as she stared pass the face looking at her- other faces would sometimes appear, but she thought it was just her imagination. To her surprise, in the back of her own thoughts she heard a voice say:
“I don't know...but I am starting to wonder if I do more dreaming in this "Sleeping State" it's as if my thoughts are always in a peaceful place as they push through the darkness into the Light. I feel like I am in a non sleeping state dragging a huge blanket of LIGHT. A light that comforts and soothes the darkness, so that all darkness will know the Light, I am not alone, there are many sleepless dreamers and the circle is growing like branches on a Tree. The branches grow from deep within but they reach out touching all corners of heaven and earth. Like the wind we paint life by living it through experiencing all the pains and pleasures as colors in the palette of an invisible artist.”
She is startled, who is able to send her this personal message from an unseen and unknown source hiding behind her face in the mirror that always just used to hang on her wall. But now, it had become a thing to fear and explore all at the same time. “How can this be possible?” she heard herself say out loud as she hesitated to walk away from the mystery that compelled her to look deeper. Dominique’s friends all thought of her as someone very down to earth, but with a vivid imagination nonetheless and sometimes she had the tendency to exaggerate a situation with her artistic flair for drama. She was by no means a ‘drama queen’ like so many of her friends, but she liked to make her stories interesting. This story however, was not one of her creations, it began to create her.
The city had been losing its life for many years and it was evident in the faces of the young women she dealt with everyday. How could she teach women conditioned by an uncaring environment about freedom when all they knew was oppression and misfortune? Misfortune and loss was something that plagued Dominique most of her life and in her heart she always feared that one day it would finally catch her. Her parents separated when she was very young, and she often remembered looking outside at the world through the window in her mom’s room when she returned home from school. Her mother usually worked afternoons, and she rarely saw her at all when she started school. Staring through the window at the other children and neighbors left her feeling disconnected and lonely and she felt this nostalgic feeling subside at the thought of the voice in the mirror. She went downstairs and began to prepare breakfast for herself, but she could not get her mind off the words she heard. She tried to make sense of it all as she ate her scrambled eggs and toast, but all she really wanted more than anything was to hear more. She went upstairs again when she finished eating to get ready for work, and she felt herself drawn to the mirror, against her will she went back and stared into the glass frame as if she expected something to happen. She heard her own thoughts say something to the mirror without uttering one single word out loud, but she didn’t recognize her own voice saying them. Then the voice in the mirror replied,
“Ahhhh...Thank you. I know the sadness you suffer the loneliness is hard at times. My heart is lonely also I am longing for The ALL! It's okay that is what we are here for to hold each other up. I just hope I am strong enough. Love you never forget. Don’t stop listening to your heart!”
Now she was really trembling all over from the awe and fear that crept down her back and arms like a hundred little fingers running all over her body making her hair stand on end. “What is happening to me?” she thought to herself, who is this person talking to me and answering questions that I didn’t even know I had. At first she felt a great sense of love surge through her and she felt her heart pumping her hot blood through veins that were no longer alone. It felt like the voice was inside of her, but she knew this had to be impossible, even her imagination was not that vivid. The feeling inside her took over and for a moment she felt herself dancing in front of the mirror alone with her eyes closed and she began to see and feel a waterfall of colors fall all over her and she was totally under its spell for about ten minutes. Dominique managed to hear the phone ringing through the haze of her strange experience just in time to find out that she had missed an appointment with an important client. She began to berate herself, “Dominique you just can’t seem to do anything right these days, you are destroying everything that is good. You are your own worse enemy!” She quickly dressed and ran down the stairs and began throwing a lunch together while hunting down her car keys and vitamins. She had a small business that allowed her to help women find self-confidence to gain skills suitable for employers. Many of them had never worked outside the home before and it took much care and understanding to work through all the fears and abuse that many of them had suffered. Dominique always had a special place in her heart for people that struggled with life because she enjoyed helping the ‘underdog’ to beat the system. But today she would have to struggle with her own fears before she could effectively deal with her irate client.
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Post Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:24 pm 
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SharayaKai



Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Posts: 245
Location: Mountains of Utah


Very interesting story so far. I had a bit of trouble following with the words so tightly packed. Perhaps a bit more structure, separation of topics with paragraphs. You've got me curious about the voice and I certainly know what it's like to feel your dreamscape is more real than reality.

Please continue with this. I'm finding it strangely comforting.
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Post Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:00 pm 
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Beth



Joined: 01 Jan 2008
Posts: 336
Location: Michigan


Hi SharayaKai


I will take your comments and apply them thank you for the feedback. I'm glad you find it comforting.......



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Beth
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Post Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:13 pm 
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lori



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Posts: 1454


Beth. Dreams, whether asleep or awake are what i thrive on. Love this story! I believe we can connect with others via non-physical thought and i love to empathise with people, as your character does. More please!!! Wink
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WHEN I FALL, I LOSE MY HEART AND FILL THE SPACE WITH HER..

Post Tue Jan 15, 2008 5:40 pm 
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Beth



Joined: 01 Jan 2008
Posts: 336
Location: Michigan


Hi Lori



I'm really excited that you can connect with the character - it is amazing what can happen in dreams. I met some people called the Travelers and my dreams were somehow influenced by some of them for a while. I don't think I will ever be the same. It woke me and seems to have broken me but I still pick my weary feet up and get back on the path.......there is more to life than what meets our eyes.


Thanks for your encouragement - I will continue it


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Beth
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Post Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:56 pm 
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lori



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Posts: 1454


yipee!. travellers huh? i wonder if you met me at any stage then Wink
i once met the Heirophant in a dream. he didn't speak to me but i knew he was urging me to follow my own path.
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WHEN I FALL, I LOSE MY HEART AND FILL THE SPACE WITH HER..

Post Wed Jan 16, 2008 1:15 pm 
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Beth



Joined: 01 Jan 2008
Posts: 336
Location: Michigan


That is very interesting Lori - normally when a person experiences the symbolism on Tarot cards it is an indication that the card is the path you are on. I will keep you updated on the Hierophant - and its influences if you want.



Beth
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Post Wed Jan 16, 2008 11:53 pm 
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lori



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Posts: 1454


Shocked well i am a bit of a lone walker in life, but i do find things appear to me very often in strange ways. i'd be interested to hear more. regards, Lori x
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WHEN I FALL, I LOSE MY HEART AND FILL THE SPACE WITH HER..

Post Thu Jan 17, 2008 2:37 pm 
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