Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Posts: 76
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
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Ali,
I wasn't intending to read story like this. See my mom is currently struggling with her battle with cancer. Doctors said to come to terms she only has few months and we will lose her. I read your story and was thinking about my mom. I haven't really allowed myself to cry. But here I sit with tears in my eyes.
Thanks for sharing your story. In some form or another story I been writing on here is my way of dealing with whats going on with my mom. I been having a tough time with it all. Just makes you realize that are time here is already mapped out. Our exist point is never discussed.
So little time to do all you want to do in life.
[/b] _________________ Tammy-Time
Love...Love is friendship on fire! That is what I seek...
Wed Aug 08, 2007 3:53 am
Allison
Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida
(((((((((((((((((((((((Loves)))))))))))))))))))))))))) up to a point, I know what you are going through. It will be very tough, but you will make it through.
Alli _________________ Alli
Wed Aug 08, 2007 11:50 am
worldwonder
Joined: 01 Mar 2008
Posts: 49
Location: unknown
Allison i was touched by your story
It reminds me of my aunt who passed away in 2004 of HIV, i have never forgot her and how we all cared for her till her time. She was also a strong woman wise woman.
She & my mom raised me and bestoned family values& wisdom in me, that i carry with me where-ever i go in this world. i have never really cried since that hospital night call in May 2004.
Her image burns in my mind whenever faced with a difficult quest and i think what advice would she have given me.
Sun Apr 13, 2008 4:33 am
Allison
Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida
We all should be blessed to have such strong women in our lives. Thanks for reading!
Alli _________________ Alli
Sun Apr 13, 2008 4:10 pm
angelsheart
Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 496
Location: Nis/ Serbia
Thank you a lot for sharing with us , Alli !
I am mad at people who does not know to respect their perents and especially mothers coz they do not know how it looks like when you loose her. It is the only one right loss in life coz no matter what and no matter what she was like she was the only person to really love you , to really have you as part of her life and allow you to have her as the same part of yours!
I lost my Mom on Friday, July 21st, 2006th and since then my life would not be the same but ever!
She got a brain seizure on December, 15th, 2007th and that day I told you a lot of awfull things coz ... I didn t know that all her life she had an aneurism in her brain and it could explode anytime so she was really happy to had lived for that long... I didn t know that all her abuse over me and my sister was not because she was crazy but because she had that tiny cell in her brain that filled with blood all her life and made great pressure onto her brain! When I found out I realised how much she loved my sis and me, I understood all her effort to act normasl , to fight for my sister and me coz we were poor and she did everything to make our living and... And thatr day I didn t tell her that I loved her but that I hated her and I will never but never forgive myself. From that December day on she had never been really conscious..already slim, she lost all the weight and she was like a baby! My Gid if only doctors saw that on time and removed that she would have be alive n0w but they were telling our whole life that she is crazy and didn t saw the real problem. Then when she got the seizure they didn t want her to undgo the surgery and didn t want to help her... They sent her home, we tried to take care of her... And in the end we were left without any more money and had to put her in home for old people where she died after a few months. The last time I saw her , her legs were swelled and looked like three thrunks and her body so tiny... I knew deep within myself that it was the last time for me to see her alive but I didn t want to believe that. I returned that day to the town wheere I study to see a girl and while I was traveling to that place she was dying and I didn t know that. These were my Momīs last hours and I didn t have my wish fullfilled to be with here then! In the morning sister called me to tell me that our Mom was dead!
Since then... I try to tell my friends that they shuld spent the time with their parents and try to undestand them before it is too late but they only lough at me.
Thanks again , Alli! This is the first time I let myself cry over my loss coz I have always stopped myself telling myself that Mom would like to see me strong and not weak and that Mom is somewhere and wilčl return one day...
Mom, I hope you heard me while you were dying away slowly through the months!
I hope you heard my voice telling you hom much I loved you !
I would gladly exchange every damn second of this life of mine for you to be alive and happy here coz you are the one who should be here alive and happy for just once in your life in exchenge for all the pain you had in your life! If only I could have you for just fey more minutes here by me, Mom... If only.........................................
Love you forever
_________________ There used to be a grayin' tower all alone on the sea... You became the light on the dark side of me...
Thu May 29, 2008 1:29 am
Allison
Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida
Awwww Angel, crying is never a sign of weakness. Take comfort in knowing that she heard every word you said to her, even though she could not respond and have faith she knows how much you love her.
Alli _________________ Alli
Thu May 29, 2008 1:53 am
Twisted chick
Joined: 09 Jun 2008
Posts: 19
Wow All!
I stil hav tears in my eyes! That was realy touching. An eye opener.
I happen 2b home from University 4 easter, and wen im home i always slp next 2my mom in her bed.
And as i was reading this i glanced over at my mom sleeping and i couldnt help feeling so guilty, 4 having her here next 2 me and not appreciating her like she diserves 2b... Thank u Alli 4 giving me dat eye opener jst that little push 4 me 2 apreciate every1 around me again. 2c jst how lucky i am 2 hav the woman who means everything in the world 2me with me. 2b able 2 share tears and laughter with her. 2 b able 2 feel her huging me and make me feel safe the same way she did wen i was a little grl.
Hugs and gud luck 2u. And knw that this post made a difference in sum1s life _________________ Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?
*twisted*
Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:46 pm
Twisted chick
Joined: 09 Jun 2008
Posts: 19
Ok so mom jst woke up next 2 me. I hugd her and kissed her cheek. I told her how much i love her and how much she means 2 me.
I think i told her that i love her 5times mre than usual, lol she asked me wat i wanted, or wat i did wrong lol. So i told her bout melsweb and i read ur post 2her. We both wer sobbing by the end of it. And she told me that she loves me 2much 2 leave soon,and nt 2 worry. She said that she doesnt plan on leaving soon bcos She has 2 much 2do here, she said she doesnt exactly knw wat but there r things and she isnt planning on leaving me alone.
That was reali sweet of her but truth is God has his own time. And we never know wen His time is.
Hugs... Frm me and my twisted mommy _________________ Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?
*twisted*
Thu Apr 09, 2009 8:51 pm
PipSqueak
Joined: 04 Jul 2008
Posts: 987
Location: S.W. England
I am sat in tears reading your stories and the love n loss behind them.
I can't believe the timing of me reading this. I have consistently had a terrible relationship with my mum, starting from when I was very little. I am going up to see her n dad for the shortest time possible 2nite n 2moro with my lil sis. Will now go up looking to enjoy it, rather than watching time tick down til I can get out of there....thank you.
Fri Apr 10, 2009 10:06 am
Allison
Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida
Purple....cherish the moments because they are gone all too quickly. Have fun and Happy Easter. _________________ Alli
Sun Apr 12, 2009 8:40 pm
defineyourself
Joined: 16 Sep 2007
Posts: 32
Location: Stuck somewhere between sheer bliss and utter devistation
Alli,
Your post truely touched me. I lost my Mommy on 10-18-07. I was 24 and she was 45. She had a massive stroke and within 4 days she was gone. This came as such a surprise and completely blindsided us all. I am the oldest of four and my baby sister was only 14 when this happened. Not a day goes by that I do not miss her. I still cry I'm still mad. I dont know that I will ever fully come to terms with it. One thing that brings me solice is knowing that she was a donor and some of her organs went to make other people's lives eaiser, and to in fact save one life. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
((((((((((((Alli)))))))))))))) _________________ Never be bullied into silence
Never allow yourself to be a victim
Accept no one's explanation of your life
Define Yourself!
Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:46 pm
Allison
Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida
((((((((((((((((((Define)))))))))))))))) thanks for reading this story. I would say it gets better, but I don't think it ever really does. I think you will understand that. Life goes on and we can strive to make them proud of us. Thanks for taking the time to post.
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