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Stranded [F] [new 01/01/09]
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Stormchaser



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 95
Stranded [F] [new 01/01/09]

Ok, so as I sit here and rather impatiently wait for wavesgoodbye to finish her great write I've been debating posting a story of mine called Stranded. (mostly to give myself something to do while I wait...lol).

The problem lies in the fact that while I've written quite a bit of it, it's not finished.... I'm not sure I can finish it.... and I know how annoying it is when someone starts something and you like it and then that's it they leave you hanging for eternity (*ahem* you know who you all are Razz ).

So I'm going to post the first very little part and you can tell me if you'd like me to add more (keeping in mind you can't say I didn't warn you on the chance you actually do like what you read). This is my first attempt also, constructive criticism is welcome if the story progresses.

Thanks
~Stormchaser

Stranded

Day 1: Sunlight's finally creeping over the edge of the horizon. It's a blazing pinkish red dancing off the water's surface. It's a beautiful sight any time, but after the nightmare of last night it's indescribable. Like some shred of hope fighting back the dark terror of last night and the day before. We're clinging to the debris, swimming, drifting to some speck of something off in the distance. At least I hope it's something, not a mirage or a trick of dehydration and exhaustion. Something we both see, so I'm hopeful we might reach it. What piece of the plane this is, is beyond me. The only concern I have is that it pretty much floats with both of us on it. The sun is rising on my right, so we must be heading north. I've been kicking and paddling for most of the night. I stopped feeling my legs hours ago. I made her get on the makeshift raft, she's teetering on the edge of delirium. She's sleeping now, but occasionally I stop kicking long enough to pour small amounts of water into her mouth from one of the two small water bottles I salvaged from the wreckage along with my ragged backpack. We probably should've stayed where we were, near the sunken plane wreck. The sharks found us well before we saw any sign of being rescued and we climbed on to the floating debris and closed our eyes as they swarmed in a frenzy around the dead bodies drifting by the plane. It wasn't safe to stay in the water, and with the heat of the sun we'll fry before they come to get us if we don't find some kind of shade. I tried desperately to find anyone else alive, but it was just us. The one body I was closest to, revealed no face when I turned him over. I threw up in the water beside him. Two survivors out of two dozen. The sea had mercy on us today and carried us away from the carnage toward the black speck in the distance, for a chance at hope. Away from the sharks, we're now at the mercy of the scorching sun.

_________________
"Life isn't about the number of breaths we take. It's about the moments that take our breath away."


Last edited by Stormchaser on Fri Jan 02, 2009 8:31 am; edited 15 times in total

Post Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:49 pm 
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MysteryGirl
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Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder


If you are counting intererested parties, count me in, I like this so far, Next chapter please!




hugZ, Noni
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Post Wed Jun 25, 2008 2:31 am 
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angelsheart



Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 496
Location: Nis/ Serbia


Oh maaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn....
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There used to be a grayin' tower all alone on the sea... You became the light on the dark side of me...

Post Wed Jun 25, 2008 7:43 pm 
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Stormchaser



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 95
?

Um....angelsheart, is Oh maaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.... an encouragement to post more or not. I'm just not sure what to make of that.
_________________
"Life isn't about the number of breaths we take. It's about the moments that take our breath away."

Post Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:11 pm 
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Stormchaser



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 95
Day 2

Day 2:

The sun is so incredibly hot; it just drains you. The speck is growing larger, or I'm growing more delirious. It's hard to tell anymore, even harder to ration what little bit of water is left between the two of us. She needs it more immediately, but if I succumb to dehydration too, we're both doomed to die out here.

I alternate the sips. She drifts in and out murmuring incoherently, barely holding on. I crawled under the make-shift raft and pulled off some of the material hanging beneath it. It was enough to cover her and shield her from the sun.

I took a break this afternoon for awhile, hoping that my legs will recover enough strength to get us to what appears to be an island. It's still so far away. I think I'd cry if I could, but my tear ducts have run dry. My mouth is sticky and my lips are cracked and bloody. There's about an ounce of water left and at the rate we're moving, another day of paddling.

It's the nights that scare me though. I try to ignore the terrifying black of the water, the fear of what I can't see below me. I resist the urge to climb up on the raft and pull my legs safely beneath me. I try to tell myself that I'll get farther if I keep paddling through the cool night and rest in the raging heat of the sun. Tomorrow though I'll rest for just a little while then keep pushing hard until we hit solid ground. Maybe the clouds moving in from the distance will push us towards our destination. God forbid they push us away.

_________________
"Life isn't about the number of breaths we take. It's about the moments that take our breath away."

Post Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:22 pm 
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MysteryGirl
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Joined: 02 Jun 2007
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Location: I come from a land downunder


That was such a LITTle chapter, it's a tease, C'mon, don't keep us waiting too long.



HugZ, Noni
_________________
Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!

Post Wed Jun 25, 2008 11:20 pm 
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Stormchaser



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 95
ok ok

Day 3: God was looking out for us last night. The waves picked up only slightly, neither helping nor hindering our progress. With the clouds came the rain, pouring down from the sky. I tried futilely to collect it in the small mouthed bottles.

Then I realized that the drop cloth material that had dried hard in the afternoon sun was soaking wet. I wrung it out over my mouth and to my surprise, tasted only a little salt. I began wringing it out into the bottles and filled them both. Then when it was soaked again, I dumped them out and went for the fresher water from the cloth figuring most of the salt was removed the first time. I filled the bottles again and dripped water into her mouth and tried to get her to swallow. I wish I had more bottles, the cloth will dry before we reach land and who knows when it will rain again.

I used the edge of the damp cloth to wipe the crusted salt from her skin and tried to replace as much water from the bottles as I could before it dried again. I was able to drink half a bottle last night. She's too out of it to drink, so I just pour enough into her mouth that hopefully some trickles down her throat without choking her. I thank God for every minute she keeps breathing.

I'm resting now, briefly. Clouds still linger in the sky and as I pray for rain to come again, I'm grateful at the moment for the brief respite from the sun. I think if I keep pushing we might make it before nightfall.

**********************



Day 3: Nightfall. I kissed the sand, not entirely intentionally. My legs were too weak to hold me up when I tried to stand and I fell to my knees and then kissed the sand tossing handfuls in the air thanking God. I just laid there for awhile sobbing with my face planted in the cool damp sand.

After a few moments I salvaged enough strength to drag her to the shelter
of some trees. The island is small, and the air smells like rain. I'm going now to look for something to collect any rainwater in.

_________________
"Life isn't about the number of breaths we take. It's about the moments that take our breath away."

Post Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:10 am 
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angelsheart



Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 496
Location: Nis/ Serbia


Of corse to continue.. Just.. I think we never had anything like this before at the board ...


Exclamation Exclamation Exclamation

_________________
There used to be a grayin' tower all alone on the sea... You became the light on the dark side of me...

Post Thu Jun 26, 2008 11:28 am 
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Stormchaser



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 95
Day 4

Day 4: It poured again last night, all night, and it felt good to be alive, to feel the salt cleansed from my burned skin. The long palm leaves were arranged carefully to collect as much water as possible. It looks like enough to last us a few days at least.

She's still drifting in and out, and now that we're here the feelings of helpless dread are starting to overwhelm me. I'm beyond exhaustion, almost drunk-like, but I'm too afraid to let myself sleep now for fear she'll slip away while I'm not looking, if I miss giving her even one sip of water.

I want to check out the island and see what, if any resources it might offer, but I'm afraid to leave her side. I pour water down her throat every few minutes praying it's doing some good. The thought that she might not pull through didn't enter my mind until now. I wouldn't let it. If she doesn't make it, she'll take me with her when she goes. I'll lose my mind watching her once vibrant spirit vanish away right in front of me.

I'm trying to get the courage to leave her side, keeping her in sight, long enough to see if there's anything available for food. Maybe in a little while.



************************************
Day 5: I spent a good while attempting to drop large rocks on crabs scuttling around the shoreline. In between misses I'd return to my duties with the water bottle. I'm afraid to hold on to hope, terrified not to.

I finally broke down and cried again today. The sobs just wracked my body and I thought I might never stop. I prayed to God and cursed Him; begging Him to save her. She doesn't deserve to die. She looks so frail. Sometimes it seems like she might come around, others like she's fading faster. She isn't murmuring as much and I'm scared to think what that might mean, so I go back to taking my anger out on the crabs.

_________________
"Life isn't about the number of breaths we take. It's about the moments that take our breath away."

Post Thu Jun 26, 2008 10:05 pm 
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angelsheart



Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 496
Location: Nis/ Serbia


[b]and...............???????????????????????????????????'''
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There used to be a grayin' tower all alone on the sea... You became the light on the dark side of me...

Post Thu Jun 26, 2008 10:17 pm 
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MysteryGirl
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Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder


Stormchaser - I am totally entranced! Please keep writing.




HugZ, Noni
_________________
Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!

Post Thu Jun 26, 2008 10:54 pm 
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Stormchaser



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 95
Day 5, dusk

Day 5:

Dusk. She woke this evening, briefly, but I cried again. She said my name and my heart raced as I held her tight, making her drink more water. The tears poured down my face. She's sleeping again now. She's so weak. We both are.

I tried to eat today, some of the crab I'd killed, but the slimy raw meat made me sick before it even hit my stomach. I was more successful later, choking down a few small pieces. They made all the difference though. I recently came to the realization I hadn't needed relieve my bladder the entire time since the crash, just another frightening indication of just how dehydrated and drained my body is.


**********************

Day 6:

She called my name this morning. This time though, she opened her eyes.

I was so happy I couldn't stop crying long enough to answer her questions at first. I think I scared her. After she slowly came to, she didn't believe me when I told her it'd been 6 days since the plane went down.

She still looks frail and weak, but the color has returned to her face. She can drink on her own now, so tomorrow I'll be able to leave and set out to explore the island and search for anything useful.

I've been thinking about planes; I haven't seen any. I keep thinking that if I'd seen the island from the wreck, I should be able to see a rescue plane flying to the crash site from here.

Somebody had to know we went down, there has to be a little black box to locate the plane with, doesn't there?

Even so, why would they scour an island a three days swim away after finding all those bodies, if there was even anything left of them. Anyone not accounted for would be considered casualties of the sharks. Just in case, I decided to collect rocks and branches and spelled out HELP on the shoreline, as big as I could.

_________________
"Life isn't about the number of breaths we take. It's about the moments that take our breath away."

Post Sun Jun 29, 2008 1:20 am 
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angelsheart



Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 496
Location: Nis/ Serbia


uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
_________________
There used to be a grayin' tower all alone on the sea... You became the light on the dark side of me...

Post Sun Jun 29, 2008 9:59 pm 
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Jamie B



Joined: 27 Jun 2008
Posts: 28
Location: Texas


Nice story. Please write some more.
Jamie B

Post Mon Jun 30, 2008 1:13 am 
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sillywolf



Joined: 09 Jul 2007
Posts: 311
Location: The last frontier


great story!! please continue it!!!


Silly Exclamation
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Post Fri Jul 18, 2008 8:20 pm 
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