Hmmm I see someone else needs to get busy writing!! Great story you have spinning here, so hurry up and write
Alli _________________ Alli
Sun Aug 16, 2009 11:58 pm
Laurian
Joined: 19 Jan 2009
Posts: 174
Location: Belgium
Hey Purp, thanks for the help with the camping stuff.
So Allison, I see you want me to hurry up I will do just that as soon as I am teenager free.
I promised him I would take him out for a burger today. I reckon he is a bit tired of my cooking and he needs grease in his system. He is watching cartoons now seeing I won't allow him on my computer till I am done with my mails. His longing for Internet is so funny to watch that I am .. reaaally .. taking my time.
Ehm Purp... I think you just packed the little one away with the tent. and he is turning blue...
Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:15 am
PipSqueak
Joined: 04 Jul 2008
Posts: 987
Location: S.W. England
Wondered why it was so quiet!!
Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:40 pm
PipSqueak
Joined: 04 Jul 2008
Posts: 987
Location: S.W. England
Bringing in fresh tea n coffee
Hey Laurian, just wondered....are you and Alli going to start typing again soon????
Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:38 pm
Laurian
Joined: 19 Jan 2009
Posts: 174
Location: Belgium
hehehe, I understand what you 're saying, Purp!
Even though they keep saying that patience is a virtue it is also very annoying ...
On the upside though, I have been typing at it. Should be able to post it soon I hope.
Sat Aug 29, 2009 11:19 am
Laurian
Joined: 19 Jan 2009
Posts: 174
Location: Belgium
20.
Day and night melted into one as I drifted in and out of sleep. I was aware that I had problems with breathing and I was very thankful that they gave me oxygen to help out. In my dazed state I felt no pain only the very uncomfortable feeling of an immense pressure on my chest.
When the medical staff in the Intensive Care Unit were convinced that I was stable, they gave me the all clear to go back to my old room. I don’t recall that much about those days in the ICU. I couldn’t bring myself to think about what had happened to me. The hours flew by and every time I woke up I felt amazed and thankful for every minute. I didn’t mind the chest tubes, the oxygen, the x-rays, the blood tests. I was too happy to still be.
And now in my old room staring out the window at the ever changing sky, I marveled at its beauty wondering why I never took the time to let it touch me like this before.
I didn’t hear her enter. I wasn’t aware of her approach.
The soft touch of her hand caressing my face made me close my eyes as an uncontrolled reaction to the instant joy I felt. She turned my face towards her with the lightest touch. What a glorious feeling to be able to lock gazes with Lynn. Her sparkling eyes alight with so many promises. The shiver that went through me when her warm breath tickled my cheek. The sweetest kiss followed by her soft whispered words that made me smile.
“My little stone.”
“My Lynn.”
And then we just stared at one another again forgetting everything around us. I love to get lost in her eyes. Their sparkling beauty making this moment in time perfect even though I saw her worry for me reflected in them. She looked at my pale face, at the nasal prong aiding me as she took notice of my struggled breathing. Her hand caressing my face as she made every effort not to hurt me.
“How are you feeling today, sweetie?”
Speaking wasn’t easy. I had trouble completing a sentence with one breath.
“I think I sound.. like Darth Vader. I only .. wished that I had his .. powers too.”
Lynn giggled. “I never knew that he looked this cute under his costume.”
I groaned. “Cute?”
Her eyes trailed over my body before she replied. “God yes, Nikki. Even though I can almost see through your skin and all these tubes sticking out of you I have a hard time not to jump you.”
I looked at her in disbelieve. “Freak!”
She gave me a mischievous smile. “What if we take some of this stuff home with us when you get out of here? That could be fun.”
I was at a loss for words. Her little wink and a raised eyebrow made me realize that she was waiting for a reply.
“You definitely need .. a hobby and a cold shower.”
Her laughter filled the room and made me smile. I love hearing it. I could listen to it for hours feeling happy knowing that I caused her outburst.
She smiled at me. “You should have seen the look on your face. How I love to see you at a loss for words.”
I raised my hands to touch her cheek. Her hand aided me as I held on to her.
“Baby, I love you ... I know that it is .. not easy for you .. to trust again .. after the heartache .. you suffered.” I had to pause to catch my breath.
She hushed me and her finger caressed my lips. “It can wait, sweetheart. You‘ll exhaust yourself if you talk too much.”
I shook my head softly and she had to notice my frustrated frown. “No Lynn,.. please listen .. I need to .. say this.”
She looked worried but nodded.
I continued feeling annoyed with the fact that speaking was so difficult.
“I‘ll cherish .. whatever part of you .. that you feel save .. to share with me .. I need you .. forever.”
I closed my eyes taking some time to recover. There was no reply. After what seemed forever I could hear a soft giggle. “Silly woman.”
I opened my eyes in surprise not really expecting her little laugh. She bent down to come closer as to grab my attention what really wasn’t necessary. She squeezed my hand that still lingered on her face and then pulled it towards her lips to give it a kiss. Her mouth lingered over my fingertips as she repeated her words. “My silly woman. You scared the hell out of me pulling your little stunt of almost dying. I was going out of my mind with worry. Seeing doom scenarios of losing you forever. I can’t give you a piece of my heart, honey. It is not mine to give. I am so sorry.”
I was startled. I didn’t expect these words. She must have felt my body tense after hearing them. She looked at my hand and sighed as she held it to her cheek again. I had to concentrate to hear her soft whisper. “I can’t give you what is already yours, my love.”
That is the moment I cursed the state of my body. If only my complete happiness would have been able to make me jump out of my bed. I couldn’t even shout out. My voice betrayed me in this moment of pure bliss.
I pleaded. “God Lynn .. kiss me, please.”
The sadness in her eyes at that moment left me breathless for a second.
“O Nikki, I would love to kiss you. But honey, I was instructed not to and to be very careful not to get you sick.”
I muttered in a pleading tone. “Then hold me?”
She looked worried. “I am afraid I might hurt you.”
“I don’t .. care.”
So she did. She was so gentle that I was getting even more frustrated. I wanted to fling my arms around her neck to pull her in closer but I couldn’t.
I groaned in frustration. “More!”
She gave me a sad smile, caressing my face. “Soon sweetie, you need to get better first.”
With a little giggle she added, “I can wait a bit longer.”
Her giggle intensified when she heard my muttered, “dang!”
But Lynn was right. I needed to focus on getting better. I tried. I was healing from my operation and from the injuries from the car accident but they had depleted the energy level of my body. I had to rebuild it very slowly. But giving up was no option. I wanted to get out of this hospital to make a fresh start at life with my Lynn. I was very motivated.
Christine, my physiotherapist, came by every day to work on my breathing and to help me train my muscles before I was allowed out of bed. She was very gentle with me reassuring me that my weak state was normal after that kind of operation.
After three days in my own room I could breathe without the nasal prong. I kept training my breathing whenever I managed. The chest tubes were removed the next day. Nothing was hindering me now to get out of bed. Christine helped me up and supported me. I slowly started walking again. The first day I was only allowed to walk from my bed to the bathroom. I felt happy knowing that I would no longer have to call for help whenever I had to go and also being able to wash myself. The nurses made me promise to call whenever I felt getting weak. I nodded a promise but in my own mind I knew I wouldn’t call for help if I could avoid it. Christine tried to talk me out of overdoing it, trying to make me see that I needed to take it slow but how could she understand why I was in such a desperate need to get better.
Doctor Stanton had promised me that he would explain what had happened to me when I felt better. He entered my room wearing his friendly smile. The head nurse followed in his footsteps. She handed him my chart.
“Ah miss Lambert, yes yes.”
He stopped to look at me and gave me a boyish grin. This surprised me a little and it made me smile.
“Doctor Stanton, I presume?”
He nodded. “luckily no brain damage I see.”
I rolled my eyes. “With my luck that will be next. Probably when I fall out of this bed trying to run out of here when you release me.”
He had to laugh. “Let's order you a wheelchair then.”
He pulled up a chair and sat down. His friendly eyes studied my face for a second. “Well miss Lambert, shall we talk about what has happened to you.”
I sighed, “if we must...”
He cleared his throat. “Ah I know it might be boring for you to talk about these matters. But humor me because I love this subject.”
He smiled when he heard my giggle.
He started talking about my heart condition. Apparently I had a problem with my Mitral Heart Valve.
“Look at it this way, Nikki. Your Mitral Valve is like a water pump. It seals with every heartbeat making your blood coming from your lungs flow from the atrium to the ventricle. The next beat will push it out towards your body. In your case that water pump didn’t seal correctly causing a leak.”
I frowned at him. “Leaking out of my heart?”
He shook his head. “No, your blood went in the wrong direction. It seeped back. Causing your heart to enlarge in its effort to compensate. Your heart is a muscle and it struggled to perform. Your brain received alarm calls from your body. It didn’t get enough oxygen making you feel very tired. There for your heart was ordered to work harder causing the Mitral Valve to leak more.”
I was shocked. He paused for a moment to give me some time to process this information.
I managed to ask. “What does that mean? This was killing me?”
He nodded. “Yes, this would have killed you when your body couldn’t compensate any longer. That is exactly what happened. The strain on your body finally reached its limit and you collapsed. You were very lucky that it happened in our hospital. At one point we thought we had lost you.”
He stopped talking, looking at me.
I stared back at him before I managed to ask. “Am I fixed now?”
He sighed. “I wish I could reassure you. We don’t know for sure. We did our best to fix the valve and we succeeded but you will need annual check-ups to monitor it. I can only hope that it will last if not than you will need a new valve.”
I sighed, “let's hope then. Do I need to take medication?”
He smiled. “At first you will need beta blockers to reduce your heart rate and blood pressure. That is to help your heart recover. But after that I think you won’t need anything else.”
I laughed, “well weehee, no pills for me!”
Doctor Stanton chuckled and I could see the head nurse grinning as well.
I asked. “When can I go home?”
The doctor turned to the head nurse. “She wants to leave already. Is it me?”
The nurse smiled, shaking her head, “no doctor.”
He turned back to look at me. “Well Nikki, you are free to leave the moment you manage to succeed your test with the physiotherapist. That will include a stress test on an exercise bike and walking some stairs. When you manage to do that I will come running to sign your release form.”
I giggled. “You better start training your signature, doctor.”
He sighed. “Why the hurry. Don’t overdo it. Let your body heal.”
I couldn’t tell him what motivated me to get out of this place. He wouldn’t understand my desperate need.
My father and Lynn came to visit every day. My friends and family aided them in keeping me motivated but knowing that Lynn was waiting for me to get home was all the motivation I needed. My father had given her the key to my house and she had started to get things organized.
The hospital gave her instructions on how to take care of me during my recovery. My dad offered me to return home with him seeing he lived outside the city. He and Lynn would take care of me there. Lynn had made it very clear that I had no other option than to rely on her and my father. My dad chuckled when he saw my pleading eyes begging him for help knowing that I hate to rely on someone else. He turned to face Lynn and with a wink in her direction asked her if she wanted to move in as well so she would be able to keep a close watch on me. They both giggled hearing my sigh.
So I trained and listened to the instructions of Christine. I exercised my breathing, I walked the corridor, I rested in between. Six days after my operation I was allowed to use the exercise bike for the first time. I was ordered to take it slow. I struggled to pace myself. After some minutes I started to feel dizzy and my sight narrowed. Christine noticed that I turned pale and hurried to my side in support but I managed not to faint. I took deep breaths before stepping of the bike. We walked slowly back to my room. I was determined to train more after I allowed my body to rest for some time. I closed my eyes refusing to acknowledge my headache.
I must have dozed off. I woke when I felt someone stroking my hair. I smiled before opening my eyes.
Lynn watched me with a worried frown. “They tell me that you are exhausting yourself.”
I sighed, “let me get up for a second.”
I moved my legs out of the bed facing the window. I sat up to look outside knowing that if I stared at Lynn I wouldn’t manage to stay calm. Tears started to flow down my cheek but I let them. I felt my bed shift, two arms wrapping me from behind. I sensed her body pulling me closer. Her soft breath caressed my neck. Wrapped in her heartfelt embrace I leaned into the consolation offered. My body started relaxing making me realize how tense it must have been. My flood of tears lessened.
We sat there for an eternity. I sighed.
“Talk to me, Nikki.” She lowered her head and kissed my neck just below my ear. I moved my head to give her more access as I felt her soft touches.
I managed to whisper. “I love you so much Lynn that it terrifies me but the need for you is greater than my fear. I desperately need to get better to discover us.”
I turned my head to look at her and I saw her startled expression.
I continued. “I almost died but it made me realize that I don’t want to go back to my old self. I need to change. Before I fell in love with you I considered sex to be nude acting and hoping the other wouldn’t see through my improvisation. With you I don’t want to act. I want to give myself to you. I want to allow you to see me. And this scares me but it motivates me at the same time.”
I heard her swallow after my statement. Nothing was said for a couple of seconds. Then I felt her sigh. “If I didn’t feel any pressure to perform before, I do now.”
We both looked at each other before bursting out in laughter. It felt liberating.
She was the first to recover. “Just take your time, Nikki. We have all the time in the world to discover what works for us. This is new for me too.”
I nodded. “Yes, we have time on our side. Will you take a walk with me down the corridor?”
She kissed my cheek before releasing me. “I would love that.”
She helped me with my slippers commenting on my sexy pyjamas. I giggled accepting her arm. We walked towards the end of the corridor where I knew we would have a spectacular view. She turned me around so I could rest my back against her body. Her arms around me shielded us from the outside world. The feeling of her soft breasts against my back send shivers down my spine. I longed to discover what secrets they held for me but for now I had to be patient. I sighed in resignation. I felt her body shake as she was holding back her laughter. She kissed my temple whispering, “in time.”
I smiled looking at the outside world through the window feeling safe in her arms.
On its decent towards the horizon, the sun managed to color the world in a soft orange-red light. I turned around in her arms to look at my world, my Lynn. She seemed to glow as the sunbeams played their magic on her face. My hands found their way to caress her beautiful face. Our eyes locked.
I took a deep breath and asked her softly, “will you be my sunset lady for the rest of my life?”
Her eyes widened just a fraction of a second. Then I saw a radiant smile combined with the feeling of her hands caressing my back. “Not only in your dreams, I hope.”
My hands trailed from her cheeks to the back of her head as I pulled her in for a kiss. Before our lips met I whispered, “will you?”
I felt her sigh on my lips. “Yes!”
and we kissed...
Last edited by Laurian on Wed Jul 27, 2011 6:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:55 pm
PipSqueak
Joined: 04 Jul 2008
Posts: 987
Location: S.W. England
Thank you, am lost for words, except....is that the end, it's so sweet....
Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:37 pm
MysteryGirl Moderators
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder
SNiffs a little bit and surreptiously wipes face.
ME, crying never! It's a lovely story Laurian, Lord knows we need some happy endings in this world, if only in print.
Thanks you for all the emotion and cairng you have put into this story.
HugZ, Noni _________________ Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!
Thu Sep 10, 2009 11:50 pm
Laurian
Joined: 19 Jan 2009
Posts: 174
Location: Belgium
Ow thanks Purple and Noni!
I guess that is all she wrote, indeed.
Thank you for sticking with the story and for your sweet posts making me aware that you girls kept reading my scribblings even the weird parts.
Ah yes I am a sucker for love and I keep believing in it even though ...
one never knows.
Fri Sep 11, 2009 8:11 pm
Start Over
Joined: 02 Nov 2005
Posts: 222
Location: Somewhere in the cosmos
That was one of the best stories I've ever read. Great job, Laurian.
And your English is really good.
Start
Wed Sep 16, 2009 2:33 am
Laurian
Joined: 19 Jan 2009
Posts: 174
Location: Belgium
Hey Start,
thank you very much for taking the time to post your sweet words!
It made me smile. I was in need of that today.
Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:00 pm
NitWhit
Joined: 17 Jun 2008
Posts: 55
Location: United States
WhoaH!
*Bravo Bravo! I'm too happy that I was finally able to sit down and read the whole thing. For a lack of better words...I'm just going to go read it again.
Thu Sep 17, 2009 3:37 am
Allison
Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida
Laurian,
Absolutely beautifully done. I too hate to see it end, but now you can concentrate on other new stories. By all means, keep writing and sharing your talents with us.
Alli _________________ Alli
Thu Sep 17, 2009 11:19 am
Laurian
Joined: 19 Jan 2009
Posts: 174
Location: Belgium
Hey NitWhit,
I hope you liked it still after re-reading it.
It is nice to see your post and trust me when I tell you that I love reading your story as well.
Thanks for all the post for they kept me aware that I had someone to finish it for.
Thu Sep 17, 2009 4:27 pm
Laurian
Joined: 19 Jan 2009
Posts: 174
Location: Belgium
Hey Allison,
I know that I could have kept on going with this story but on the other hand my romantic soul kept me from adding more.
I might have another story to share in the near future as I found an audience willing to read, motivate and look past the inexperience of this 'writer'.
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I will do just that as soon as I am teenager free. 
Wondered why it was so quiet!!
Bringing in fresh tea n coffee 
