Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Posts: 40
Location: right where I belong
Discovery (F) 01/06/10
Dear girls…
I’ve read several stories now and just tried to write my own one. It’s just a start, but I would like to know, if you think it’s worth to write on
I’m not a native in English, but I hope it’s not too bad…
Feel free to write some comments
DISCOVERY
I tried, I tried so very hard, but it just didn’t work…
Me, that’s a twenty three year old student of mechanical engineering. I think I look quiete handsome. I’m medium sized, sportive, have blond hair up to my shoulders and green eyes, I’ve been told of they look stunning.
The thing that didn’t work was my car. I stood there in the parking space and it just didn’t want to start. Just a frustrating sound, like a coughing cow, came out of the hood. I was really frustrated and would have loved to just kick my car and leave it where it was. But I had to go home, because I was already late and my sis needed the car.
With a frustrated sigh I opened the engine hood and left my car. I walked to the front, heaved the hood open and tried to find out what the little black car was bothering. After several minutes of rummaging around and wiping the hair out of my face not just once and not finding out why the damn car didn’t work, I was in verge of calling my mom to pick me up.
When I tried to get my cell out of the pocket of my trousers without smearing all the black grease on them I suddenly was totally distracted. A girl walked my way… _________________ "Out in the cold I see water frozen in their eyes.
What a sorry sight.
I am willing to believe they would pay for a smile..."
Last edited by kenko on Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:13 pm; edited 1 time in total
Sun Jan 03, 2010 6:17 pm
MysteryGirl Moderators
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder
Hey Kenko, I'm in awe of anyone who can write in other than their native language, so for sure, keep developing this story and see how you go.
BTW the word you want in the first paragraph is 'quite" not 'quiet'
HugZ, Noni _________________ Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!
Last edited by MysteryGirl on Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:33 am; edited 1 time in total
Mon Jan 04, 2010 12:10 am
kenko
Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Posts: 40
Location: right where I belong
Thanks for the kind words...
I tried some more
She smiled at me, it was a shy little smile. I almost forgot to breath. She was stunning.
Her long dark brown hair was tied back in a ponytail, her slim body was dressed in jeans and a casual grey t-shirt. But it was her eyes that all my attention was captured by. I had never seen such wonderful blue eyes before.
These eyes looked at me teasingly and suddenly she burst out laughing. Reality got me and I tried to figure out what had happened that caused her outburst of happiness. I turned around to look behind me. But there were just us. The space was empty except the both of us.
I gazed back at her. She was still laughing. Next thing I know was her standing right in front of me wiping her hand across my face. I was so confused I just stood there unable to move.
‘What have you done? You look like you stuck your face into a bucket of grease!’
The engine, my hair, I felt stupid. I took a step back and started frantically wiping my face, hoping the smut would go away.
She looked around and saw my open engine hood. A smile crossed her face. ‘Do you need some help? Shall I give you a jump-start? I don’t really know how it works, but I’ve got some cables in my trunk, so…?’ she took a deep breath looked at me and ‘Are you able to talk to me anyways? Or are you mute?’
It was then I realized I hadn’t said a word and just stared at her.
‘Ehm… I… I think I’d appreciate your help.’ I managed to stammer.
‘You’d appreciate it,’ she laughed ‘wait a moment and I’ll come back with my car and we try it.’
She turned around and walked to another small black car near mine. I tried hard to gain back control. It was not my normal way of behavior. I talked very much and there was barely a time when I didn’t know what to say. But she left me speechless… _________________ "Out in the cold I see water frozen in their eyes.
What a sorry sight.
I am willing to believe they would pay for a smile..."
Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:11 pm
Filmorelover
Joined: 21 Oct 2009
Posts: 79
Location: London
wow...not only is it impressive you can write like that outside of your native tongue but the story is so cute so far i couldn't help but smile amazing...more please xx _________________ "When choosing between two evils, i always like to try the one i've never tried before."- Mae West (1892-1980)
Thu Jan 07, 2010 9:04 pm
ThatGirlFierce
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Posts: 38
Location: Florida
adorable hope to see more soon
Sat Jan 09, 2010 6:57 am
kenko
Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Posts: 40
Location: right where I belong
thank you so much!
right now i'm pretty busy with learning... but i've got some ideas in my head and i'll try to bring them down, before they get lost
kenko _________________ "Out in the cold I see water frozen in their eyes.
What a sorry sight.
I am willing to believe they would pay for a smile..."
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