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The Egg: An Alternative coming out story©2006

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desert-fish



Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted
The Egg: An Alternative coming out story©2006

hatched

Last edited by desert-fish on Sat Oct 27, 2012 7:34 am; edited 7 times in total

Post Fri May 26, 2006 5:11 pm 
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ghost



Joined: 06 Nov 2005
Posts: 2828
Location: MIA


very strange, and very good...

i really like your writing, pale, you put things in a different perspective, making me think. well done!

now. just work on your grammar a bit. use ms word, spell and grammar check. especially the use of "it's" and "its". "its" legs belong to it. "it's walking" (being short for "it is walking"). errors like that detract from your story.

keep sharing!

regards
ghost
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MIA

Post Tue May 30, 2006 1:34 pm 
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desert-fish



Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted


This kind of advice I really need.!!! I never paid any attention in English at school whatsoever.
THANX Laughing

Post Wed May 31, 2006 5:48 pm 
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texdyer



Joined: 01 Jul 2006
Posts: 23
Location: Sooke


Edited five times????? ghost does give excellent advice...saved me a number of times !!! I enjoyed it immensley.......but sounds like a prelude

?? what happens after she " impishly" says "WELCOME TO THE WORLD BEYOND THE EGG" ????? please keep writing...you have my attention

tex
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INVICTUS...WILLIAM E. HENLEY

Post Mon Jul 24, 2006 11:28 am 
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desert-fish



Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted


quote:
Originally posted by texdyer:
Edited five times????? ghost does give excellent advice...saved me a number of times !!! I enjoyed it immensley.......but sounds like a prelude

?? what happens after she " impishly" says "WELCOME TO THE WORLD BEYOND THE EGG" ????? please keep writing...you have my attention

tex


I edited five times because I have a hole in my head where my punctuation neurons are supposed to be Laughing

Something saucy is brewing in my head that might be construed as a sequel. give me time...

Post Mon Jul 24, 2006 4:48 pm 
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