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desert-fish
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted |
The Egg: An Alternative coming out story©2006
hatched
Last edited by desert-fish on Sat Oct 27, 2012 7:34 am; edited 7 times in total
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Fri May 26, 2006 5:11 pm |
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ghost
Joined: 06 Nov 2005
Posts: 2828
Location: MIA |
very strange, and very good...
i really like your writing, pale, you put things in a different perspective, making me think. well done!
now. just work on your grammar a bit. use ms word, spell and grammar check. especially the use of "it's" and "its". "its" legs belong to it. "it's walking" (being short for "it is walking"). errors like that detract from your story.
keep sharing!
regards
ghost _________________
MIA
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Tue May 30, 2006 1:34 pm |
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desert-fish
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted |
This kind of advice I really need.!!! I never paid any attention in English at school whatsoever.
THANX
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Wed May 31, 2006 5:48 pm |
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texdyer
Joined: 01 Jul 2006
Posts: 23
Location: Sooke |
Edited five times????? ghost does give excellent advice...saved me a number of times !!! I enjoyed it immensley.......but sounds like a prelude
?? what happens after she " impishly" says "WELCOME TO THE WORLD BEYOND THE EGG" ????? please keep writing...you have my attention
tex _________________ INVICTUS...WILLIAM E. HENLEY
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Mon Jul 24, 2006 11:28 am |
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desert-fish
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted |
quote:
Originally posted by texdyer:
Edited five times????? ghost does give excellent advice...saved me a number of times !!! I enjoyed it immensley.......but sounds like a prelude
?? what happens after she " impishly" says "WELCOME TO THE WORLD BEYOND THE EGG" ????? please keep writing...you have my attention
tex
I edited five times because I have a hole in my head where my punctuation neurons are supposed to be
Something saucy is brewing in my head that might be construed as a sequel. give me time...
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Mon Jul 24, 2006 4:48 pm |
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