BACK TO HOME PAGE SITE NAVIGATION CONTACT POETRY FORUM GENERAL FORUM   Horoscope  Radio  Gallery  FAQ   Search   Memberlist   Usergroups   Register   Profile   PM's   
Log in 

Story Forum Index -> Emotional Lesbian Stories

Sweet Time
Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next
Ladies Lifestyle and Living Store
  Author    Thread Post new topic Reply to topic
Allison



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida
Sweet Time

Does the grieving process really ever end for those that have moved on? I am beginning to think the answer is no. It has been almost seven years since my Mom passed away and the hurt still feels the same. I still get tears in my eyes and my words are suddenly choked off when I think of her, of how she would enjoy this or that, or how I wish she were here to chat with on the phone as we did so often. My partner has learned when this happens to just let the moment pass and I will move on with our conversation. My heart tells me it’s time to write this story, for me and my Mom, Laura who died 11/26/99.

Sweet Time

Mom finally retired after many years of driving a rural postal route, delivering the mail through snow, sleet, hail and flooding rainstorms. For a year she was the primary caretaker for my Dad who was stricken with early onset of Alzheimer’s. For months that summer, she kept saying how bad she felt, but the doctor’s assured her she had a bad case of bronchitis and she struggled on.

Two days after her sixty-forth birthday, she was finally diagnosed with Small Oat Cell lung cancer and began the torture of chemotherapy. She moved in with my brother and sister in law who lived closer to the hospital and for a few weeks my brother ran between his home, the hospital and my parent’s home to check on Dad.

Mom could not tolerate the chemo treatments and was hospitalized primarily for comfort measures. The children, all four of us gathered at our parent’s home and took turns caring for Dad while visiting with Mom, not knowing how short her time really was. I spent most of the twenty-forth at the hospital, which was the day before Thanksgiving while my two older sisters prepared to cook the holiday meal. Mom had a really tough day, the effects of the chemo still lingering in her system. She was in strict isolation due to her high risk of infection and at times her gasps for breath became a tremendous struggle. During the day, she was visited by all her children and I stayed late into the night with my younger brother. We talked when she could and we held hands until she fell into an exhausted sleep. He assisted me in cleaning her up and changing her linens when they became soiled, a task she did so many times for the four children she raised, never voicing the first complaint. There was no way a stranger was going to be allowed to perform this for Mom as long as one of us was near, no matter how good the nursing staff was. This was our Mom.

Early the next morning, the hospital called and told us that Mom was having a rough morning and I went to the hospital and joined my brother. My sister’s joined us later along with Dad for a short visit. During the afternoon, Mom really perked up and for a while it was as if there was nothing wrong with her. We talked and laughed the afternoon away and when she tired I was left to stay a while longer. Mom slept for a while and I watched her sleep, peacefully for a while until the nausea woke her once again. When she was settled and clean again we sat and watched a movie together, and chatted for a while until the hour grew late. I had no clue this would be the last time I would be talking to my best friend and the greatest love of my life. When I left that night, I kissed her forehead and told her I love you and watched her close her eyes again falling to sleep.
The next morning, the phone rang again early and it was the hospital telling us that Mom had been transferred into Intensive Care. When we arrived at the hospital, Mom was really laboring to breathe and her hair was soaked from her efforts. She was not conscious nor would she regain consciousness that day. The doctor came by and ordered additional sedation in an effort to reduce her struggling, which worked for a while. We took turns sitting by her side throughout the morning and later that afternoon, the doctor came by again and took all of us out into the hall. She told us that there was nothing else to be done for Mom, except to try to ease her pain and wanted to know if we wished to place a Do Not Resuscitate Order on Mom’s chart to prevent heroic attempts from being made once her body failed. I was born third out of four children, but my siblings looked to me for answers when it came to medical decisions and as difficult as it was, I agreed with the doctor on placing the order. Mom was fighting a mighty fight, but, her body was failing her quickly. Order in place, we returned to Mom’s side for the last few hours.

Each of us had a few minutes of private time to spend with Mom and a call was made to bring Dad to the hospital. Her heart was racing wildly as she struggled to take each breath and subconsciously we all kept a close eye on the machines monitoring her vital signs. I stood next to Mom’s shoulder, my fingers running through her hair as my brother and sisters surrounded the bed. We searched each other’s eyes, but said very little to each other as we silently prayed for our Mom. I leaned down and kissed her forehead and told her, “Go home pretty lady, we love you.” As I stood up, I saw a small smile on her lips and we watched as the monitors showed her heart rate dropping until it reached zero and Mom was gone.

This strong woman, who had endured years of physical and emotional abuse from an alcoholic husband to ensure her children grew up well, had waited for her children to give her permission to die. We all realized this and the tears began to flow. We held onto one another as we cried and then one by one we said our final good-byes and left the room. Dad did not make it to the hospital in time, but was taken in to see her privately as we waited for him.

Mom, I love you and miss you everyday.


My heart breaks when I read about people or talk to people who are estranged from their mother’s or families in general and I want them to know that the “Sweet Time” I spent with my Mom the last days of her life are the most precious of memories to me. I would encourage those people to make amends if possible and enjoy the time together before it slips quickly away.
_________________
Alli

Post Tue Jun 13, 2006 10:53 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address  Reply with quote  
lemons



Joined: 12 Feb 2006
Posts: 964
Location: here ... with her <3


Alli,

I am still sitting here with tears running down my face ....

A year ago I found myself sitting in a hospital w/ my grandmother. I also still choke up ..... you heal, but sometimes those memories are just a little too much to handle. Eight years ago my other grandmother was in the hospital & I remember having just a couple minutes alone with her and telling her I loved her & it was ok to let go. An hour later she was gone. She was unconcious but to this day I would swear she said ok to me.

Just this past Mother's Day I made amends with my mom who stopped speaking to me over a year ago. I kept trying to keep contact but never got results. I made what I thought was going to be my final attempt from me. I found out I could have lost her during a surgery she'd had recently. And that about killed me knowing some lil spat we'd had could've been our last words. Thankfully we are speaking again & working on a relationship that has always been a shaky one.

Didn't mean to spill my guts, but this really hit a sensitive spot for me. I'm glad you posted this Alli ..... so many should read this.

I know you will always miss your mom, but I do hope sharing yoru story will help you on the road of healing. Knowing you may end up helping another relationship out there is worth it in itself.

(((((((((((Alli))))))))))

Lem
_________________
"No smile is more beautiful than one that has struggled through the tears" ~Unknown

Post Tue Jun 13, 2006 11:46 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail  Reply with quote  
Allison



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida


Thanks (((((Lem))))
_________________
Alli

Post Wed Jun 14, 2006 11:19 am 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address  Reply with quote  
Tracey



Joined: 30 Dec 2005
Posts: 1489
Location: Ayr, Scotland


(((((Alli)))))
_________________
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.

sometimes i wonder... ' why is that frisbee getting bigger'... and then it hits me

Post Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:44 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message  Reply with quote  
Allison



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida


Thanks ((((Tracey))))
_________________
Alli

Post Thu Jun 15, 2006 10:58 am 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address  Reply with quote  
ghost



Joined: 06 Nov 2005
Posts: 2828
Location: MIA


alli

i only saw this post now.

i havent cried for some time now.

i am not going to thank you for sharing this story.

i will give you a hug though, and tell you that i do understand. perhaps better than you realise. or maybe i did tell you sometime.

whatever.

regards
ghost

((((((((((((((((alli)))))))
_________________
MIA

Post Thu Jun 15, 2006 4:20 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message  Reply with quote  
Allison



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida


Ghosty,

Just from the few times we have approached the conversations on mother's....I know you understand. Was not intended to make you sad or cry sweets ;-( Alli
_________________
Alli

Post Thu Jun 15, 2006 9:18 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address  Reply with quote  
fortheloveofagood...
Site Admin


Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Posts: 2216
Location: loves land of plenty


i thought, i really should go and explore some of the stories on melsweb and this is the first one i click on... ahhhhh.

Another chink in my grief dissolves a little by again being reminded that those of us who live heart broken are not alone in this pain and a word or two, shared experiences, can reach across and bridge that isolation.

(((((((alli, mel, ghostie))))))
with love
kx
_________________
-----------------------------------------------------

'don't hate your enemies, it clouds your judgement'

~peace comes from knowing only love is real~

Post Fri Jun 16, 2006 3:23 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message  Reply with quote  
Allison



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida


k,

Probably not the best example of my writing to choose, but I am glad the story touched you as well. Thanks for the post and hug.

Alli
_________________
Alli

Post Fri Jun 16, 2006 4:54 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address  Reply with quote  
ladielove



Joined: 22 May 2006
Posts: 157
Location: Tennessee
For me my grieving will never end....But ...

Alli,

Knowing so well about grieving, I lost my mother April 19, 1989 ..
I lost a little girl named Jessica 6 weeks after her birth, September 6, 1992..
And I lost my Dad November 29, 2005 .

For me grieving will never go away, but I have founds way to deal with it so I feel comfort and it make's it a little easier to face another day without them .

Sometimes I grab a spray bottle with cleanners paper towels, and trash bag
and 8 red roses for each of my mom's kids, and 5 white roses for my little girl, I clean up the Brid poop off therestones, and dead bugs I pickup the old flowers, and replace the fresh ones.

My mother was a giver so she had her foavortes charietys to give to, one was the green shamerocks in the gerocery stores, theirs a sweet story behind this I want be long winded with it, but I will share it if u would like later.

and she had her favorite place she would voluenteer hours, sometimes when i have the time I go and give my time in her honor, i have a funny story about what we did to our one and only little brother.

These special things help me so much to where i can face another day and the pain is not so great .

Alli you are a ellexentant writer I know it will get you through your pain.



OH! ALLI!

Girl I would go broke takeing people to see your movies, and would love every minute of it (I know you don't have one but darn sure wishing you did) or I would stand on the corner with a stand and sell your books with bells on! ( I know you don't have one of those either, so I just tell my friends to check this sight out for your stories).

Post Fri Jun 16, 2006 7:54 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message  Reply with quote  
Allison



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida


LOL Ladie...thanks for the laugh. I can just imagine you standing on a street corner selling books. Thanks for the post sweetie and the encouragement.

Alli
_________________
Alli

Post Fri Jun 16, 2006 10:21 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address  Reply with quote  
lemonscent



Joined: 03 Feb 2006
Posts: 45
Location: Australia


Thank you so for sharing...it has prompted to me to visit my mother this weekend and add another cherished day to my life.
_________________
life shouldn't be such a drama when surrounded by so much comedy

Post Sat Jun 17, 2006 11:20 am 
 View user's profile Send private message  Reply with quote  
Allison



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida


Have a beautiful time with her lemonscent and thanks for the post Wink

Alli
_________________
Alli

Post Sat Jun 17, 2006 2:20 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address  Reply with quote  
ofeliah



Joined: 13 Jun 2006
Posts: 4
pain for ever

how nice of you sharing such a deep feeling.
i had the same tragedy. father when i was 16, mother when i was 19. lung cancer and breast cancer.
more then 10 years ago'.
there is not a single day that i do not think about my mother.
everyday I would like so much to hug her... for the last time.
to kiss her for the last time.
to see her smiling for the last time. ......
when I don t know what to do .. I think: Mum...what would you do?
she was the most amazing woman.. strong and prepared to die. Her only concern was us... her children. Now as an adult myself I realised how difficult must have been for her to be so strong for us... to avoid complain the pain just to preserve us of such a strain. .... I will never be able to be so strong and generous.

however ... we never forget ,never, but suddenly you will stop crying....
how nive loving her? don t you think?
take care

Post Sun Jun 18, 2006 7:53 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message  Reply with quote  
Allison



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida


Ofeliah, Thanks for the post and hugs back to you. Alli
_________________
Alli

Post Mon Jun 19, 2006 4:42 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address  Reply with quote  
  Display posts from previous:      
Post new topic Reply to topic

Jump to:  
Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next

Last Thread | Next Thread  >

Forum Rules:
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

 


Search For Posters!


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group

In Association with Amazon.com
     
Terms & Conditions Privacy Statement Acknowledgements