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Story Forum Index -> Emotional Lesbian Stories

Sweet Time
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Mdm Prez



Joined: 19 May 2005
Posts: 1536
Location: U.S. of A.
Allison

I hardly ever come to this side of the forum, but today I did and found your story. I cried for you and then realized I was crying for me too.

My mom died several years ago. My dad and my brother had also passed away before her.

I remember my mom and I sitting in front of the Pulmonologist for the results of the biopsy. The doctor said 'Catherine, you have small cell carcinoma'. My mom looked at me and said 'Cat, what is that?' I'm so angry that the doctor didn't step in and clarify, but he stayed silent. I said to my mom that it is cancer. That wasn't my job. She looked at me so distantly, I took her hand in mine and rubbed it and fought back the tears for her. The doctors was still silent. My mom then sat straight up in the chair, looked at the doctor and asked what the treatment would be and 'how long do I have?' The doctor said she would need chemo and hopefully she'd get another 2 years, maybe 3. The odd part about that conversation is my mom heard something differently than I did. Somehow I thought he said 5 years. The doctor later confirmed that he never said 5 years. But I heard it. That was April, chemo began and completed in August. Tests were showing the mass had diminished greatly. At that visit when the doctor kind of discharge her, my mother said 'so can I hang out the flag?' The doctor hesitated and said 'yes, you can hang the flag straight out'.

We were cautiously happy (and with good reason) By October my mother had some more symptoms, the cancer had metastasized to her liver and brain, requiring radiation. My mom was still in her home taking care of herself. By Thanksgiving she had come to my house to stay. We kept saying to each other that all she needed was to build up her strength. I would walk her around my house, the doctors said to keep her moving. At times I would almost drag her, at times be annoyed that she was having trouble. I wouldn't stop, I couldn't stop.

At Thanksgiving dinner my mother came to the table, but couldn't stay. She went into the family room and just put her head back. I was still in denial.

Thirteen days before Christmas she became weaker and the doctor suggested she have care that I couldn't give her any longer. I had not investigated that kind of care thinking I could have all those services brought into my home, if need be. The first call I made was to a place very close to my home. I feared telling my mom this and when I did, she said it was the right thing to do.

We arrived on a Friday night, she was very pleased with vegetable soup they made for her and settled in for the night, was comfortable. I came back first think Saturday morning and she was talkative, I walked her around, again dragging her at some points. I didn't want the nurses to see she was having trouble for fear they would move her to acute care...those words scared me.

In 2 days the administrator asked for a meeting with me. They were going to have to move my mother to acute care and, just like Allison, as asked to sign a Do Not Resuscitate order. I cried and cried, first saying 'no' I wouldn't, it went against everything I believe and everything about my mother's personality, never give up, never stop trying. I almost collapsed and finally said that I would sign it, convincing myself it wouldn't be needed because my mother was coming home for Christmas.

My mother used to love me to sing - anything. When I'd come to visit her at the facility, I would put my lips to her ear and sing Christmas carols, thinking she would love it. Finally, she said 'Cat, don't sing'. That was when I realized how badly she must feel.

At one point she said to me, 'Cat, you really think I'm going to beat this don't you?' I said 'yes I did, in fact mom I know it'.

Well, we never made it home for Christmas. Christmas eve day, all of our family were there to see my mom. She had slipped dramatically. And at 6:20 p.m. my mother took her last breath, with me petting her head and kissing her cheek.

I will never, ever get over that I lost my mom. She was mine...my everyday, 3 times a day phone call...my shopping buddy...my confidante...my pick-me-upper...my spiritual role model...my funny mom...my great baker mom...my 'not afraid to say I Love You' mom...my so proud of me mom...my moral and ethical mom...my ahead of her time mom. Her eyes twinkled and she was known for a wink of her eye that meant you were OK. She made me who I am today, certainly my dad had a part, but my mom was the one. She told me I could do anything, be anything I wanted.

If only I could have one more day with her, one more hug, one more kiss, one more wink of her eye, one more laugh, one more 'I Love You'.
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Post Thu Jun 29, 2006 7:26 pm 
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Allison



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida


((((Mdm)))) Thank you for understanding the pain and heartbreak. I do apologize for making you cry, but sometimes it is a good thing for us to do. Also, thank you for sharing your story with me and the other ladies here at Mel's.

Alli
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Alli

Post Thu Jun 29, 2006 8:52 pm 
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AzNativeBaller



Joined: 19 Apr 2006
Posts: 266
Location: Di'ne Nation
Words May Never Explain

((((((((Allison))))))))))))))

Indeed losing a love one is that hardest thing to face.
I thank the lord to still have mine. so close so understanding.

I thank you for the tears that fell tonight
The memories that made me think back to dec 2005
The heartache i still feel today. my tears fall more often now
but i understand that its okay and life does go on. I lost my bro so
quietly and quickly what can i say. everyone know my pain now
i struggle with it everyday. with help i will overcome it all. someday
all the questions will be answered. thank you for sharing this. anyone
who loses a love one understands what pain it is.
I will always be greatful for reading a post like this cause it helps me
a little more.
Thank you for letting me cry and making me smile again...
take care and god bless

'wallee

Post Sun Jul 02, 2006 5:46 am 
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Allison



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida


Az...I am glad you ended up with a smile on this one. Thanks for the post.

Alli aka ATTT LMAO
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Alli

Post Mon Jul 03, 2006 12:30 am 
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joanie



Joined: 26 Aug 2006
Posts: 123
Location: Florida


Ali
I found myself crying with you, for you and for myself as you drew the emotions back to the surface. My dad died 6 years ago. There are so many things that I remember oh so clearly - the first one was that he verbally said i love you - something he rarely did. Oh he showed it every day in taking care of our family but the words I could remember when he ever shared them. They were the last words he spoke to me. He fell into a coma later that day.

As we were saying out good byes and releasing him from this life I was holding my precious 2 year old niece, I asked her if there was anything she wanted to tell grampa, she broke the silence with an inocent voice with an I Love You Grampa. Needless to say tears continued to flow, and finally dad left this world as we prayed together as we said Amen he left this world.

Many times I find myself missing him but happy for what I did have.

Post Wed Aug 30, 2006 11:27 am 
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Allison



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida


Joanie......I feel we are very blessed to have a very loving parent or parents. I have come to realize that some people have not been as fortunate to have such a loving family and it has made me even more grateful for the time I had with my Mom. Thanks for the post and I smile to know that it made you think of your Dad today with a smile on your face.

Alli
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Alli

Post Wed Aug 30, 2006 1:43 pm 
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goldenwillow



Joined: 12 May 2006
Posts: 87
Location: nashville,tn


(((((((((((((((((alli))))))))))))))))))

you are so precious, alli!!!

Post Tue Oct 17, 2006 4:50 pm 
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Allison



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida


Blushes...thanks Gw Wink

Alli
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Alli

Post Wed Oct 18, 2006 1:26 am 
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Mairi bheag



Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland


Alli, I have read with envy stories and poems surrounding people and their mothers. Envy because I had no such rapport with mine. I had no strong woman in my early life.

This story, more of a personal essay, could have been boring, simply because it was a factual account, and was purely personal. BUT it comes from the pen of a fine fiction-writer, someone who knows the proper use of language - simply how to say things, and how to say things simply. You know how to hold a reader. You have the secret of looking at your work and knowing that it is something you would enjoy reading yourself.

With this piece, you engage us, your readers, and let us see the full scope of your emotions. You are never mawkish, never sentimental, but always, always compassionate.

You will be published. You have your writing life ahead of you. Thank you for sharing this excellent piece with us.

Mb
xx

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all posted material (c) Marie Marshall, unless otherwise stated.

Post Thu Oct 26, 2006 9:45 am 
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Allison



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida


Thanks Ma'am. This one I needed to write.

Alli
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Alli

Post Thu Oct 26, 2006 11:55 am 
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Mairi bheag



Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland


(((((((((((((((((Alli))))))))))))))))))
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all posted material (c) Marie Marshall, unless otherwise stated.

Post Thu Oct 26, 2006 11:56 am 
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Allison



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida


((((((((((((((((((((((((Ma'am*))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Alli
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Alli

Post Mon Oct 30, 2006 10:57 pm 
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ammacdonald



Joined: 03 Mar 2007
Posts: 2


Alli,
..... this made me cry - what a lovely piece of writing lassie! It meant a lot to me and you are so right about "sweet time". Bha e fior mhath!
ammd

Post Tue Mar 06, 2007 8:58 pm 
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Allison



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida


Thanks Amma...still one of my favorite pieces. I appreciate the comments.

Alli
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Alli

Post Wed Mar 07, 2007 1:22 am 
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Eiregirl



Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 10230
Location: Chasing a pink bunny


Allison,

Hugs you tight mmmmm

Eiregirl Arrow
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All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.

Post Sun Mar 18, 2007 11:53 pm 
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