Hey there, im new to the forum, so bear with me. My issue is simply this, I've been 100% 50-50 my entire life. (well, since my hormones became active, i suppose) I've always figured... why restrict yourself to only one sex when there's just so many wonderful people out there? Im currently with a member of the opposite sex, weve been together for about a year and a half.... and over the past few months I havnt been finding myself sexually attracted to him. I still get aroused mind you, but never for him. Never for anyone really, but I do seem to be thinking only of curvatious forms with slits inbetween the legs. So, have i turned 100% dyke? Or is it just because i havn't had pussy in so long that its pouding in my brain like standing next to the speakers of an kidney thieves concert? Is it maybe because the romanticism has kind of left, due to both of us working 2 jobs each.... i... just dont know. A little help, if someone pleases. Anyone have anything similar happen? Thanx for listening, Caio.
Fri Sep 17, 2004 2:36 am
melons Site Admin
Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 2371
Hi DeepJazz
...no wonder you are confused!
Perhaps as you are both working 2 jobs you are both too tired to enjoy each others company at the end of the day. As with any relationship you need to make time for each other and the time you make needs to be special time, not just cooking, cleaning, housework or gardening....
If you never get really aroused for anyone at the moment, then maybe you need to learn to relax a little and not work quite so hard.
Then again...who knows really, only you are truly able to answer the question of whether you only love women now. Being attracted to women again, after so long without, may just be because you like the challenge and the excitement and if you have been 50-50 a long time then maybe its because you become bored with your partners and are still looking for that special 'one.'
It really is something that only you can answer. Giving each other a little space while you sort out your emotions might help.
Sorry I'm not much help really....
Good luck anyway...
Mel
Fri Sep 17, 2004 9:39 pm
Trouble
Joined: 16 Sep 2004
Posts: 28
Location: San Jose Ca
Hey Deepjazz!
The one thing that sticks out in your post, at least for me, is that you mention your lack of physical desire for your man but you don't say how you feel about him emotionally. Has that attraction wained as well or is he your best friend, and the one you want to spend forever with?
Possibly if the emotional desire has wained, your mind is thinking about something new and exciting?
Remember with any relationship the intitial excitement and all the hot dirty sex dies out and is replaced with a more comfortable and familiar form of love making.
As Mel mentions, slow down a little bit, and plan some down time with him. My partner and I have been together going on 5 years now and we make a point of getting out of town at least once every two months. On October 8th we are heading for a weekend at a bed and breakfast. The point is getting away from everyone and everything.
Sat Sep 18, 2004 3:47 am
DeepJazz(cant login, grr) Guest
A little more light on the subject
As far as our emotional relationship goes.... i figured he may very well have been "the one" the first person i had ever been with that was wonderfully artistic, he sings... beautifully (jazz mostly, haha!), he loves filming, photography, painting, drawing, etc.... all of the things i love! During last summer we'd go down to the lake and we'd stand knee-high in the water, dancing & singing to each other. Not only that, but he's an AMAZING lover. But since we both work so much, he never does.... anything anymore. he works, he sleeps, he plays video games. I try to spark the romance every time i get a fresh idea in my head to do so, but it never works out. he's kind of, lost his essence i suppose. And all I can seem to think about every time i get aroused, is, women. *shrug* Mel, Trouble, thanx for your help so far
Sat Sep 18, 2004 4:54 am
melons Site Admin
Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 2371
HI DeepJazz....not sure why you can't login, let me know if it's a problem for you again and I'll look into it
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