if i had the choice, i wouldn't be a lesbian.............it is SOOO painful....but it's not a choice. and well.....i do like girls way better lol.
i've never had a g/f....im not out. i know my friends will be totally fine with me being gay. but i don't want them to feel awakrd around me.....and the girl i like (Cait) are in our group of friends......it's killing me to hold it in and im trying to come out....but im so scared. i keep making these plans to make a move on the girl i like.....but everytime that time has come, i'd either not do anything or it's just not the right time.....
we go clubbing every so often and i get so excited lol becuase i get to dance with her and get close to her. i was thinking of making a move when we go clubbing........like get really close to her and kinda snuggle and kiss her on the cheek???
the first time we went out dancing, one of our friends bought her guy friend and he has a g/f, but he was so into Cait and they were dancing. i was dancing with Cait for a while, like for 2 hours, then he comes in from behind her and dances with her. i totally slowed down and i felt my heart stop. my heart shatttered and i SOO wanted to run to the washroom. but i had to stay strong, becuase he had his lips on her cheek (UGHHHHHHHHHH) and IF i left, they prbably would've kissed (it would;ve been his move) so i stayed so that i could keep an eye on them and to make them uncomfortable to kiss since im RIGHT THERE. as much as it hurts, i still wanted to protect her. i felt like shit that night. it was one of my happiest nights and in a second it turned into a nightmare.
sorry i rambled on!
any idea on how i can approach her?? or make a slight move on her??
everytime i think of her, my heart aches. and every song i hear, i think of her.
thanks girls
a.
Sat Jan 26, 2008 5:16 pm
MeliPiper
Joined: 07 Nov 2007
Posts: 228
Location: New Hampshire
LMAO!! You may be wondering why I am laughing.. Well I am in love with a girl named Kate too. And well we go out every night almost and sometimes we snuggle and sometimes she kisses the boys and such. And it kills me to see her hit on men while we are out but she won't kiss them in front of me so I am safe there! My suggestion to you is to go out with her often. Maybe play pool or something. eventually they all become more "friendly" lol. She'll loosen up and you can make you're move. I know it hurts to watch her with others but you just have to deal with it, unless you are planning on making your move right then and there! Goodluck with you Cait!
Meli
Sat Jan 26, 2008 9:25 pm
iloveyou_but do you feel
Joined: 22 Oct 2006
Posts: 107
Location: can
haha! ouch it must hurt to know she hits and kisses those boys...it'd kill me if cait did that. the thing is, i can't figure her out....no idea if she's gay.bi or just plain straight......she NEVER talks about boys. th emost she's said is when someone goes "o he's cute", the most she'll say is "lol he is"
she's like me, when ever ppl talk about boys, we just kidna shut up and not say anything, or we'll just laugh lol.....makes me think she's not into boys either. but then at times, she'd agree with our friends that so and so is cute. but it's rare. i mean, i do think some boys are cute, but thats it....i dont' LIKE them. i just think they're cute.
i'd say we're already pretty close....we hang out at times with our friends, and this semester at school, i only get to see her 2 times a week . but we do talk online and stuff.
i guess i should wait til im even closer to her?? before i make my move...?
in a way, i wanna tell my group of close friends that i like girls. that way, cait will think of me as an option?
i do compliment her and stuff, but i tihnk she's oblivsious and only take it as a friendly way. i sometimes purposely let her see me daze at her. trying to hint my interest in her....but im not sure if she gets that lol.
thanks for the reply
a.
Sat Jan 26, 2008 10:23 pm
MeliPiper
Joined: 07 Nov 2007
Posts: 228
Location: New Hampshire
I think that if you truely think she likes girls as well and you come out to her and your friends it might be easier for her to do the same. And who knows, she could be your first g/f. But don't get your hopes up if it dosnt happen the way you want. As I have recently learned you have to just keep moving forward. You'll find someone who is right for you in time. Just be patient (thats what everyone tells me anyway )
-Meli
Oh and yes it kills me when Kate does that but that's just who she is. I get my fair share of attention, and I make sure of that
Sun Jan 27, 2008 12:54 am
Guest
hmm...yea maybe i should tell her and our circle of friends... it'd def be easier for her to come out to me IF she is gay....
and i know some girls don't realize they're gay until a girl hits on them....
they might be in a little bit of shock though....although i think that they suspect im gay....
cait's very femme. im in between, femme - butch, (no idea wat that's called) lol
it's such a big deal for me.....if i come out to cait, then i can't compliment her anymore becuase she won't be oblivious anymore lol. she'd know i probably like her. and i can't dance with her anymore, becuas eshe might get scared that im coming onto her.....??? i don't wanna lose all that. the things that i can do with her becuas eshe doenst' know im gay. but as soon as she knows, i can't do that stuff with her. it's such a risk. either i can get her to like me, or i lose the things i can do with her. id she odnest' like me that way, then she won't wanna go clubbing with me anymore (well...she might...but she'll get uncomfortable?)
sigh...it's such a dilemma....this sucks. lol
a.
btw, is kate straight or bi?
Sun Jan 27, 2008 1:12 am
iloveyou_but do you feel
Joined: 22 Oct 2006
Posts: 107
Location: can
hmm...yea maybe i should tell her and our circle of friends... it'd def be easier for her to come out to me IF she is gay....
and i know some girls don't realize they're gay until a girl hits on them....
they might be in a little bit of shock though....although i think that they suspect im gay....
cait's very femme. im in between, femme - butch, (no idea wat that's called) lol
it's such a big deal for me.....if i come out to cait, then i can't compliment her anymore becuase she won't be oblivious anymore lol. she'd know i probably like her. and i can't dance with her anymore, becuas eshe might get scared that im coming onto her.....??? i don't wanna lose all that. the things that i can do with her becuas eshe doenst' know im gay. but as soon as she knows, i can't do that stuff with her. it's such a risk. either i can get her to like me, or i lose the things i can do with her. id she odnest' like me that way, then she won't wanna go clubbing with me anymore (well...she might...but she'll get uncomfortable?)
sigh...it's such a dilemma....this sucks. lol
a.
btw, is kate straight or bi?
Sun Jan 27, 2008 1:13 am
iloveyou_but do you feel
Joined: 22 Oct 2006
Posts: 107
Location: can
that guest was me haha...i forgot to sign in ooops.
Sun Jan 27, 2008 1:14 am
MeliPiper
Joined: 07 Nov 2007
Posts: 228
Location: New Hampshire
lol Ummm Kate is well Kate lol. Good come out to your friends
Sun Jan 27, 2008 6:48 am
R41N
Joined: 08 Jul 2006
Posts: 25
ahh... it seems that we have all fell in love with one of our best friends...
It's true, with me.
We did practically everything together. We went out to clubs, danced, chatted, held each other's hand, wiped each other tears during hard times and cried together. We even showered together. We were just that close. I slowly fell for her, but she was in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend. She would send me signals by touching me and kisses me on the cheeks.....I was just so scared to tell her how i feel. I was scared that it would ruin our friendship, which I treasured very much. I know that it could never work out because she was way out of my league. I loved her, i cared for her. I get jealous and upset when guys hit on her. I know we had a connection... some kind of mysterious emotional connection that goes beyond friendship, it's rather hard to explain.
It's just I never had the courage to tell her, but I am sure she sense it. I could sense that she kinda knows that I like her. A year later, she moved somewhere else... we lost our communication. I think about her rarely now, and I understand the pain that you might of gone thru. I really wonder, what would of happened if I had told her? Still till this day I wonder. But she's already engaged, so I have already totally forgotten about her. It was a nice feeling while it lasted I guess. Trust me I was in alot of pain by hiding my feelings. It's better to get it out in the open because you might regret it.
Mon Jan 28, 2008 10:25 pm
Willow
Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 17
quote:Originally posted by R41N:
Trust me I was in alot of pain by hiding my feelings. It's better to get it out in the open because you might regret it.
I guess you were on the opposite end of the spectrum I was on. I did tell and I lost a good friend because of it. And lost myself in the process.
**************************
I guess what it comes down to is how do you prepare for the worst? Are you ready to hear it? Are you ready to hear your best friend never wants to see or talk to you ever again? Are you prepared to sacrafice what might be and risk losing your friend?
If I knew then what I know now, I would take the regret of silence over the pain of losing my best friend. Any day. Any time. If I could take it back I would.
So, the question you have to ask yourself, or anyone else considering telling their best friend that they are in love with them, is - are you prepared to face the fact that you may lose not only the love of your life, but your best friend as well?
It's a tough situation to be in. I know. I was there. And I suffer the consequences of my actions every time I think about her.
Every situation is different. But if you are prepared to lose her, then follow your heart. If you can't live without her, don't say anything at all.
Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:23 am
Guest
yea...no kidding, that pain is killing me. soemtimes i think she does sense that i like her. liek yesterday when we were with our friends, i had my eyes on her as she was talking and sshe saw me just dazing at her and she looked at me for like 2 seconds, then she looked down (it looked like she was nervous/shy) and she kept her head down for most of the convo. it just seeme dlike she was really nervous (i do that when im with somone i like and i know they're looking at me.....so im not sure wat was with that) maybe im overthinking. and when she was approaching us, and coming to join the group to talk, as she was coming towards us, i kept my eyes on hers and she kept hers on mine. it was like an eye fucking moment lol.....her eyes just followed mine and we were both smiling.
she might have an idea that i like her.....???
quote:Originally posted by R41N:
ahh... it seems that we have all fell in love with one of our best friends...
It's true, with me.
We did practically everything together. We went out to clubs, danced, chatted, held each other's hand, wiped each other tears during hard times and cried together. We even showered together. We were just that close. I slowly fell for her, but she was in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend. She would send me signals by touching me and kisses me on the cheeks.....I was just so scared to tell her how i feel. I was scared that it would ruin our friendship, which I treasured very much. I know that it could never work out because she was way out of my league. I loved her, i cared for her. I get jealous and upset when guys hit on her. I know we had a connection... some kind of mysterious emotional connection that goes beyond friendship, it's rather hard to explain.
It's just I never had the courage to tell her, but I am sure she sense it. I could sense that she kinda knows that I like her. A year later, she moved somewhere else... we lost our communication. I think about her rarely now, and I understand the pain that you might of gone thru. I really wonder, what would of happened if I had told her? Still till this day I wonder. But she's already engaged, so I have already totally forgotten about her. It was a nice feeling while it lasted I guess. Trust me I was in alot of pain by hiding my feelings. It's better to get it out in the open because you might regret it.
Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:41 pm
iloveyou_but do you feel
Joined: 22 Oct 2006
Posts: 107
Location: can
ah that guest was me...i forgot to sign in...again lol
Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:47 pm
iloveyou_but do you feel
Joined: 22 Oct 2006
Posts: 107
Location: can
i guess another option i have is to just tell her i like girls....instead of telling straight out that i liek her...??
but th eproblem with that is, afte ri tell her i like girls, i can't compliment or make even the slightest move on her coz she'll know im hitting on her....and when ew go out dancing, she;s gonna feel weird?? knowing tha ti liek girls.....and might get scared to dance with me? ugh either way im screwed lol.......this sucks
Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:49 pm
R41N
Joined: 08 Jul 2006
Posts: 25
quote:Originally posted by Willow:
I guess you were on the opposite end of the spectrum I was on. I did tell and I lost a good friend because of it. And lost myself in the process.
Willow, I know that's tough to handle but if that's how it turned out to be... then in my opinion, she's not a worthy friend. The definition of a true friend in my opinion are those who stick with you till the very end... but then again, I am not here to judge because maybe the friendship you had with her is something that was very special to you. I know how devastating it is to get rejected, deserted, and forgotten .. but that's why you HAVE TO grow stronger. Feelings for those you can't have won't last, because in the end you will realize that no matter what you do, no matter how much you want to go back in time and forget.... you just can't ... that's the harsh reality of the world.
Sun Feb 03, 2008 5:41 am
Guest
rain, i agree
those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
yet i still really care about how ppl see me, especially my friends. i know they'll be supportive and everything. and i know they won;t mind. but im so afraid it's gonna get all awkward after i tell them....
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