I'm working on telling my world and where I work that I'm gay, and in love with a woman-very much in love.In fact there are going to be major changes in my life soon. But how do I tell where I work-I've been there a long time-and its scary.Will those people who thought they knew me reject me when they find they don't. And I want to tell because I'm sick of reffering to my partner as my friend. I want to be honest.
I've told my family-no probs there, I've told some straight friends-minor probs but they are still friends. The next big hurdle is work.
Can anyone offer any advice?
Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:15 pm
twilight
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 1035
Location: First Star on the Right Straight on til Morning
Do you have to say something at work? Not that you have to be in the closet. But, if you are not really friends with them why do they hav eto know. It is work and I know that I do not want to hear about my co workers sex life and they do not want to hear about mine. It generally is not work place conversation. The co workers that I work closely with know I am a lesbian. Luckily they do not treat me differently because of it. But if they are not someone you would do something with outside of work then why tell them. Hope that makes sense. _________________ Twilight, Her Royal Highness, The Queen of Fun and Games
The lengthening shadows wait The first pale stars of twilight. ~~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:52 pm
slim
Joined: 08 Mar 2008
Posts: 18
Location: UK
It made sense thanks. I don't want to share my sex life but when they ask what have you been doing, or what do you have planned, and I can't tell the truth. It annoys me now. I want to acknowledge my ptr yet confess to being scared to do it. I've heard some pretty crude jokes on this subject there.
Tue Mar 25, 2008 12:33 am
twilight
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 1035
Location: First Star on the Right Straight on til Morning
I have done the whole lines that are non specific till they got to know me better... In example... "We went to the movies...", "They thought the movie was slow, but I liked it...", I was surprized with flowers..." Most coworkers don't notice it at first. By the time they do they have got to know you better and are less judgemental. That is how I handle it. _________________ Twilight, Her Royal Highness, The Queen of Fun and Games
The lengthening shadows wait The first pale stars of twilight. ~~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
Tue Mar 25, 2008 1:00 am
slim
Joined: 08 Mar 2008
Posts: 18
Location: UK
i talk a lot about my friend--to tell the truth if some haven't guessed by now they are pretty slow.
Tue Mar 25, 2008 2:02 am
quirkz
Joined: 03 Apr 2008
Posts: 11
Location: Los Angeles, CA
I'm not out at my job and I only work with one person (within the office). But I don't like my personal business in the workplace, like to keep them separate for the most part. I've gone out with my colleague a few times because she's around my age and we're on the same level but it's always been casual and nothing too personal comes out.
Good luck with it, I have no idea what I would do, probably refer to my SO as my sweetheart or a non specific name and leave it at that. I think I'm too private sometimes.
Fri Apr 04, 2008 2:45 pm
slim
Joined: 08 Mar 2008
Posts: 18
Location: UK
i discovered that someone is telling others.i think i know who it is but am suprised cos i didn't think she knew.
but in a way its cool,because i found i no longer care.if they know fine, and if they have issues its their issues.
Fri Apr 04, 2008 9:10 pm
twilight
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 1035
Location: First Star on the Right Straight on til Morning
That is a wonderful attitude to have! If they have issues it is their issues. _________________ Twilight, Her Royal Highness, The Queen of Fun and Games
The lengthening shadows wait The first pale stars of twilight. ~~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
Fri Apr 04, 2008 9:34 pm
slim
Joined: 08 Mar 2008
Posts: 18
Location: UK
Thank you
I'm not ashamed, just wary, having heard past comments. But if anyone asks if it is true I will tell them yes.
Fri Apr 04, 2008 10:04 pm
twilight
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 1035
Location: First Star on the Right Straight on til Morning
I always say it just like this... "I hope you are not asking questions that you do not want to hear the answer to... but yes indeed I am a lesbian." _________________ Twilight, Her Royal Highness, The Queen of Fun and Games
The lengthening shadows wait The first pale stars of twilight. ~~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
Fri Apr 04, 2008 10:06 pm
slim
Joined: 08 Mar 2008
Posts: 18
Location: UK
I might well try that, thanks
Fri Apr 04, 2008 11:05 pm
wys2uways
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 272
My theory is always that, by the time they are bright enough to figure it out for themselves (and I am truthful with anyone that asks), they already like me as a person and it, therefore, won't make any difference... and it hasn't. I also figure it kind of helps to further the concept to the population as a whole that lesbians are regular people leading regular lives, just like everyone else.
Sat Apr 05, 2008 5:34 pm
slim
Joined: 08 Mar 2008
Posts: 18
Location: UK
Well that makes sense to me--but its taken me awhile to get to the place where I am willing to admit it if asked .
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