I glanced at my watch. 1:30...Mel will be here soon. Getting up from my ghetto-made stool, I decided I should do my sidework before 2am hit. "Change coffee, stock ice, count down lottery..." I mumbled to myself.
*Ding* A customer. "Hey, how's it going tonight?" I asked the stumbling young man.
"Drunk, thanks. I'd like a pack of Kamel Reds, please."
Drunk, everyone's drunk that comes in here, or other. And they just love rubbing it in my face. "Be $4.32, please."
The gentleman put $5.00 on the counter and said, "Keep the change. Oh, and don't work too hard."
He must not come in often. That was my first customer in 45 minutes. "Alright, thanks man. Take it easy." Inching back to my sidework, I ended up finishing around 2:15am.
Its time for a cigarette. I grabbed my pack and ventured outside. Just as I sat down, a car pulled up. Guy gets out, "You taken a break?"
"Ya man. Go ahead and take a look around. I'll be inside in a second."
"I know what I want. I just need nicotine."
"Tell ya what. Have one of mine so I can finish my square."
"Sounds like a deal."
Handing him a cigarette, I took a long hit off of my poisen. Just as I was exhaling, Mel walked around the corner. "What's up girl? You just now getting off?"
"Ya. Everyone split and I had a pile of dishes to finish off. People at Wendy's are f*@king stupid," Mel vented, as she lit a new cigarette off her old one.
"Hey, Exxon isn't much better. I have to be here until 5am today, and my relief is never on time."
"That's alright. I'm sure I'll still be up by the time you get off. And, if not, I have to get up with Robert whenever he gets up."
"How old is Robert, again?"
"He turned two in Feburary. So, 2 and 7 months."
"So, what, Robert's dad doesn't help out?"
Mel ponders, "Well, he's working morning shift at Ace Mechanics right now. He leaves at the buttcrack of dawn and gets home right around the time I have to go to work. He can't really do anything at work, you know?"
"What's his name again?"
"Well, he goes by Griffen," Mel said chuckling. "I'll get shot if I tell you his real name."
"Oh, one of those. Hey, you got a watch on?"
"Ya," Mel looks down at the time and starts laughing. "Wow...its almost 4 already. I better get home before Griff wakes up for work."
"Ah, you're leaving me? That's not cool," I said, struggling to get off the curb. "That's alright. My relief will probably stroll in around 5:30, so I don't have too much longer."
"Okay, well take it easy. You work tomorrow night...or, should I say tonight?"
"Nah, I work the mid-shift, 2-10. So brutal considering I don't even go to sleep until 8 or 9 in the morning. Oh well."
"Well, maybe I'll stop by. I need more smokes."
"I most certainly won't argue with you. Always good to see a familiar face."
"Alright hun. Well, I'll swing by here later today than. But now, I really have to go. Its officially 4:15."
"Fine," I said grinning. "Get some sleep before your boy wakes up."
"Probably not, but I'll sure try. Bye sweetheart."
"Have a good one," I said, heading back in. I grabbed my notebook and sat back down on my crate. Now, where was I?
9/15/03 (journal entry)
I think Dani's bash was a success. This is the first birthday she hasn't cried, or had something go wrong. So, that's cool. This weekend was bad-ass. I haven't partied that hard/long since I lived downtown...before I tried to committ suicide. Regardless, I had fun. But, I can't help think about me and Lisa. She's been so distant lately. Its way too quiet up here. Aside from the music and crickets, that's about it. 15 minutes 'til midnight report. I'm so fucking tired. I only have three more things left to do for the night. I have to stop working so hard. I really hope this check is substancial. I need to pay back Jeebus, Gregg, and hopefully my bank. The crickets...they're all going to die. I'm going to die of boredom! I found out Dani nailed Jen #2 today...rather, I found out today. I didn't know whether to laugh, or punch her for not telling me. So, I did both. I'm writing so mechanically right now. It is really hard for me to keep my eyes open. It's be funny if I fell asleep behind the cigarette case. Vision's starting to double and blur up. F*@k it. I'm going to go clean the bathrooms early.
Insanity
If they ever knew my thoughts
If they ever saw inside
F*@k the straight jacket
They'd run and hide.
No reality in my vision
Existence is amusing
People are exact
You and me.
But, I can't be compared
To any other person
My mind exceeds most
I am only one.
People look like I'll kill
Always afraid of me
A form of respect
So f*@king sad to see.
Run, run, run
You'll never escape
Remember me
Remember my face.
Insane I am
No green eggs and ham
I will not eat them
Insane, I am...
-End Poem-
I need sleep!!!!!...and a jacket. Its cold inside and getting cold outside. 35 minutes and I get to do the trash. 1 hour and I get to mop and count down. Time sucks! Holy shit, I have a customer.
-End Journal Entry-
I put up my journal and awaited my customer to gather her items. _________________ From this life to the next
I will love you
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