there was nothing criminal or even offensive to my parents within here, nothing I feel guilty of, but personal information I am deleting. Thankyou for understanding. Arrow
Last edited by Wutterbug on Thu Mar 16, 2006 9:13 pm; edited 1 time in total
Sun Oct 10, 2004 5:57 am
twilight
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 1035
Location: First Star on the Right Straight on til Morning
[excuse.keyboard.challenges] _________________ Twilight, Her Royal Highness, The Queen of Fun and Games
The lengthening shadows wait The first pale stars of twilight. ~~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
Sun Oct 10, 2004 11:30 pm
DanceofSorrows
Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837
Wutterbug,
I, for one, am glad you brough this up. I have been in the chat rooms for over 4 years now and have really been delved into peoples lives in a special, honest way. Here are some of the facts of life whether people admit it or not.
Boxes cannot contain emotions... that means straight, lesbian, bi, trans identities may mean people have found where they are comfortable in life within thier own skin and sometimes people are not comfortable with what they feel for many reasons. Who is to say that tomorrow that will not change.
Think about this, really. You can fall in love with someones soul and become attracted to them sexually. Isn't that what is the transendence? Love? Isn't that what the gay communities (sorry I cant identify with them, only with what I feel as a human being) have been saying? Gender doesn't matter, it is the person inside you love and are attracted to?
It is OK if someone doesn't label themselves for the rest of thier lives. I have know at least 10 women (who told me in secret because they know they would be bashed for it) who eventually married men. Did they consider themselves bi? No, not at all. If someone has same sex attractions does that mean they are gay? No, to a degree we all have them at one point of our lives. If after being in a same sex relationship does that mean if we have a desire for a man to have kids or whatever that we were never really lesbian? No, it means that you fell in love with someone soul. Attractions happen and they will always happen. Some lgbt folks personally are just not great to talk to because they have been through such aweful times with the gay bashing and have turned to stand more on making a stance for who they are. They might not understand what it is like in these days and times where many people have the 'option' to experiment or live as they choose with much more acceptance because they never had that, they had to fight for it. But for the most part, many do really understand both straight and gay. Even my ex said she doesn't know if she will ever go out with a man again and she has been around the lesbian scene since her teens.
I think the biggest point I would like to make is this...who we have sex with does not determine our sexuality. Sexuality has been so minimized to that aspect by ignorant minds. Our sexuality consists of much more than mere attraction (which is mainly animal magnitism groalllllll
As women we may have many roles but yet we are women. We may have many labels and yet are ourselves weaving through all of that. I am a woman through and through with everything that means in consistancy of who I am. That is my sexuality, do you see what I am trying to say?
It is ok not to keep up with the trends of definition, they change anyhow. It is ok to give ourselves time and experience to know ourselves more. It is totally ok just to say what I am today may change. Give yourself room just to be you within your own fears, dreams, desires, faults, opportunities for growth and maturity, knowledge and whatever else hun. We are defined by the choices we make, not by labels or boxes. And even choices may change~
Hugs~
Dance~
Mon Oct 11, 2004 12:04 am
Guest
I kind of agree with what is being said but then again don't. I agree that it is a persons soul u fall in love with and that governs your vision of the whole person. But i could never be with a man because i cannot stand the thought of them physicaly where as i am strongly attracted to women in that way. Also the a male soul and a female soul seem different to me as illustrated by the common difference between most male and female personality and i am more attracted to the qualities i find in the souls of females!
Mon Oct 11, 2004 7:38 pm
Anima
Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 60
Location: Yorkshire, UK
The message above was me by the way!
Mon Oct 11, 2004 7:40 pm
DanceofSorrows
Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837
Anima ...
Isn't crazy when we forget our names lol...Think I have done that at least twice now!
Dance~
Thu Oct 14, 2004 2:12 am
ARCHANGEL
Joined: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 7
Location: alberta,
i don't believe in bisexuality
i personally don't believe in bisexuality i believe that many people who consider themselves bisexuals are in deep denial of their sexual preferences. i don't mean to bring religion into the subject but i'm a christian a catholic in fact and i'm a lesbian yet i still believe what Jesus says nobody can have two gods at the same time and i know for a fact that nobody can have two loves at the same time i guess you could and people actually do but they are always going to love one love more than the other. so if people want to lie to themselves about wanting to be with both sexes and claiming that they have pleasure with both sexes i think that they are just lying to themselves and truth is inside of us but the only way it is going to reaveal itself to us is when we are ready to show some honesty to ourselves.
Mon Sep 12, 2005 11:10 pm
Renee
Joined: 05 Jul 2005
Posts: 88
Re: i don't believe in bisexuality
quote:Originally posted by ARCHANGEL:
i personally don't believe in bisexuality i believe that many people who consider themselves bisexuals are in deep denial of their sexual preferences. i don't mean to bring religion into the subject but i'm a christian a catholic in fact and i'm a lesbian yet i still believe what Jesus says nobody can have two gods at the same time and i know for a fact that nobody can have two loves at the same time i guess you could and people actually do but they are always going to love one love more than the other. so if people want to lie to themselves about wanting to be with both sexes and claiming that they have pleasure with both sexes i think that they are just lying to themselves and truth is inside of us but the only way it is going to reaveal itself to us is when we are ready to show some honesty to ourselves.
YOU may not personally believe in bisexuality, ARCHANGEL, yet it exists. Plus, many people do honor more than one god. Not only that, but many people are perfectly capable of loving more than one person at a time...who are you to say that these people are lying to themselves? If you'd read the initial post correctly, you'd see that this is really about transgendered/transsexual folks...wait, don't tell me...they don't really exist, either, do they? Whether you believe it or not, the scenario described initially does happen...a lot. It's normal, in my opinion to wonder what category to place yourself in if you fall in love with a female bodied man, or vice/versa...the sad thing is, why do we NEED to categorize?
Tue Sep 13, 2005 12:08 am
Cavewoman
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby
Not confused
i'm not the slightest bit confused about my gender.... I am biologically female.
Mentally? I'm a good tossed salad with Ceasar dressing..... I'm a whole lot female, and a whole lot male.
I'm me. I frankly don't give a #$@ what anybody wants to categorize that as. I am me.
Not entirely comfortable female, not entirely comfortable male. Just a good mix with a tang.
Its good enough for me and its grand for my wife.
Does it matter that CNN can label me on a poll? I don't think so. I like who I am and that's what matters.
Tue Sep 13, 2005 7:57 am
Cavewoman
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby
Oh! bisex and stuff?
I repeat.... does it matter?
If the folks involved are comfortable, what's the problem?
It doesn't amount to a hill of beans if i understand. It amounts to an entire mountain chain that they do.
If folks are solid and comfortable in their being, then I applaud and respect them. Selfishly, I expect the same respect.
Its the folks who aren't and spend their time criticizing or pointing fingers or causing real physical damage that tick me off.
While I can appreciate your thinking of the differences; I'm a little lost as to why it DEEPLY puzzles you.
My first love was a straight lady, then came me, everything was great for 5 years... then it fell apart... after one other lesbian affair she has returned to men.... I still love her and she knows I'd reciprocate in a heartbeat.
My second great love was a woman with two children, Navy, we lasted about 3 years, then it fell apart.
My first fell apart because of many things then throw in the second.
My second fell apart because I didn't know why at the time. Now I do. She is now a he......... still, if our skin brushes, the electricity ignites.....
And yes, I've been married (monogamous and faithful) for 19 years. Yet these womyn/men exist..... I still love them......
So my question is = does the anatomy really matter?
Yes... I am a lesbian... I have little choice in the matter... but still, does the anatomy really matter? Think hard. Cause I've never experienced better sex in my life than i did with #2, and we've talked since over the years.... met since.... the electric connection remains.....
I've had to sit and think about this long and hard...... I once believed anatomy mattered.......
Now? after nearly 20 years of the most wonderful woman in the world loving me...... and knowing all of this .............. i had to stop and think with your posting....
so, does it really matter? Isn't the point that each and every find their own to love?...
Tue Sep 13, 2005 8:10 am
Phoenix Moderators
Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 1664
Location: Tallahassee Florida
Well, my take is exactly as others who believe you have to be happy with who YOU are, not try to please everyone else. If all you could so was communicate with someone, not see them, not know their sex or preference and you fell in love i'd give it a 50-50 chance that person was male or female. How shocked would you be to find it were a male? What would you do then if you being a lesbian found that the person you connected with on such a deep level, had such a strong longing to be with were suddenly handicapped with a penis?
I truly believe you fall in love with a soul, but are drawn initially usually by physical attraction and for some of us, we are much more attracted to the soft sensuous curves of a woman. I have been with both, loved both, and cannot imagine being with a man now, though i wouldnt say never because i have learned that life can throw some very interesting curve balls at you, so maybe one day in some unknown time where i were single, i could meet a man who stimulated my mind, my soul, my sexual desires all in one great neat package. It hasn't happened yet, and I am not the least bit attracted to men now, but as I said, it's the soul one falls for, not the body. Well, that is if you want deep soul bonding relationships and not just eye candy.
brat _________________ "A little work won't hurt you bad, but just in case I'm wrong, you'll be smiling when they pronounce you dead." Amanda Marshall 'This could take all night
Tue Sep 13, 2005 1:26 pm
NIC
Joined: 15 Aug 2005
Posts: 141
Location: Brooklyn NY
Sexuality is fluid!
Nuff said................. _________________
"For those who understand you,No explanation is necessary, for those who don't,none is possible."
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