Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 27
Location: BC, Canada
I So Need Help!!
Hi
My first post here (other than the intro thread), not sure if this is the right place to post.
In 2001, I met a lady online and we began a relationship from a long distance away. We talked on the phone endlessly and we had several visits back and forth. She lives in the US and I am in Canada.
Her ex-husband was always in the picture and we used to fight about him. Suffice to say that the relationship has ended and I have moved on.
During that time I did come out to my mother which I had never intended but it just happened. My mom was very cool with the whole thing and if she disapproved I never knew it. There were also a few others which I told but have never felt the need to "come out".
I am 46 yrs old and haven't been involved with anyone since and actually haven't been looking. I am a single parent to one child and made him the focus of my life. I was somewhat content to work, be his mother and work on my projects.
Two weeks ago, I went to his school for his parent teacher interview. The teacher was running late and I told her I wasn't able to stay. She apologized and said we could rebook the appt. She touched my arm as she spoke and I thought she had electrocuted me. The shockwave that went through me was incredible. I haven't done anything but think of this woman constantly.
I had the parent teacher interview, it was great just to be in the same room as her. When we were leaving the school she stood very close to me and actually made my knees weak. When she speaks to me, I make it a point to look into her eyes to see if I can get a signal that way. I am such a dweeb LOL
On the past Friday, I attended a concert my son sang in and of course she was there. She came over and spoke to me and several times during that hour. As the concert came to an end, I was saying goodbye and I touched her shoulder (I always do this to people so nothing unusual for me) and almost felt as though she leaned into me. I told her I hoped she had a great weekend. She made a comment about it being very busy and then there was silence almost an awkward silence like I should be saying something more. I didn't and I am kicking myself......but I am so scared I am not getting the right signal. Maybe I am sensing something that isn't even there. I have never ever felt this way about another person before.
Christmas break is coming up and I want to ask her out for coffee or something, I can't not see her for 3 weeks. My son will be out of town for 2 weeks so I thought maybe it would be a good time.
I am so not a risk taker but if I don't take any risks then 6 months down the road I am gonig to still be mooning over her and no farther ahead knowing.
I feel like I am 16 years old and haven't a clue what to do. I appreciate any help.
Mon Dec 17, 2007 3:27 am
Cavewoman
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby
hi there...
welcome to Mel's
....
you've answered all your own questions... and you're right, if you do NOT ask the lady to lunch or something!, then six months, six years from now you'll be kicking yourself in the butt...
do it.
(and don't forget to breathe) _________________ " The sorcerers in life are created within each of us" --- Lynn V. Andrews
Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:25 am
nvgal
Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 27
Location: BC, Canada
Thank you so much for the reply and for the welcome. I appreciate it.
I will try to remember to breathe although she does take my breath away.
Wish me luck, I am so scared.....I feel like I will be ill.
Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:41 am
Cavewoman
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby
good luck!
i had that "electric" sensation happen to me with only one woman over the years (and no, its not Phyl...) ... it was hard to describe, but DANG! sure gets your attention, doesn't it? and i'll never forget the few absolutely grand years we spent together...
I've seen her only once since then (20 years ago, now)... and still, there was that electric sensation when we physically touched.... mmmmmmm, many many many good memories
be brave, smile, and if you get tongue tied.. just tell her, you are tongue tied... its easier than trying to pretend something else and sure does speed up the truth/reality of the moment... dating isn't that difficult if you just stay brutally honest and be yourself...
BREATHE! _________________ " The sorcerers in life are created within each of us" --- Lynn V. Andrews
Mon Dec 17, 2007 5:09 am
nvgal
Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 27
Location: BC, Canada
You never know if you don't try and you will never know if you don't talk to her. If yes...could be a beautiful beginning especially if she is into women and if she is not perhaps you could make a new best friend. If she says no then ask her again sometime...you never know she might just be to busy with the holidays.
Good luck
Eiregirl _________________ All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are
Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine
These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.
Mon Dec 17, 2007 5:45 am
nvgal
Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 27
Location: BC, Canada
Thanks Eiregirl, I am going to ask her definately this week!
Mon Dec 17, 2007 6:05 am
realwoman
Joined: 05 Dec 2005
Posts: 1040
Location: under our tree in Africa
((((((((((GAL))))))))))
Firstly, pleased to meet ya, and welcome to Mels!!
Secondly, yeah, life is about taking risks, isn't it? But if we sit and think about what the risks are, consider this: ... she does not know how you felt, and you do not know what she felt... Also, fortunately, as women we have an advantage... we 'do lunch' all the time...
So, an innocent 'lets do lunch', is not going to raise any suspicions, and does not really involve a lot of risk... apart from the 'risk' of maybe making a new friend, and then going from there, day-by-day, one day at a time, until you are firm enough in your friendship for you to relax in her company and tell her how she made you feel... also, by that time, you would have had more 'clues', and gotten to know her better as a person, not only as a stunning woman who set your fire-alarm off!
Keep us posted on this journey of slowly creeping out from under that rock you have been hiding!!!
All the best
Hugs,
~real _________________ .
.
light is to darkness as love is to fear...
Mon Dec 17, 2007 10:30 am
nvgal
Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 27
Location: BC, Canada
((((((realwoman)))))
Thanks so much for the welcome.
I have written her a nice note and will give it to her when I drop my son off at school. It is a humourous note but I did ask her for coffee. I don't want to scare her off so wanted to try to be cool about the whole thing. ****why is it so warm in here**** LOL
Hopefully I will have an answer today and that it will be YES!!!!
I have never initiated anything but as I said in my first note, if I don't take a risk then nothing will be gained from it.
There is a risk of rejection that I am scared of and that I have faced on several occasions.
Have a great day!
quote:Originally posted by realwoman:
((((((((((GAL))))))))))
Firstly, pleased to meet ya, and welcome to Mels!!
Secondly, yeah, life is about taking risks, isn't it? But if we sit and think about what the risks are, consider this: ... she does not know how you felt, and you do not know what she felt... Also, fortunately, as women we have an advantage... we 'do lunch' all the time...
So, an innocent 'lets do lunch', is not going to raise any suspicions, and does not really involve a lot of risk... apart from the 'risk' of maybe making a new friend, and then going from there, day-by-day, one day at a time, until you are firm enough in your friendship for you to relax in her company and tell her how she made you feel... also, by that time, you would have had more 'clues', and gotten to know her better as a person, not only as a stunning woman who set your fire-alarm off!
Keep us posted on this journey of slowly creeping out from under that rock you have been hiding!!!
All the best
Hugs,
~real
Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:02 pm
realwoman
Joined: 05 Dec 2005
Posts: 1040
Location: under our tree in Africa
Gal!! You GO, girl...
As we say here, i will be holding thumbs for you that she says YES for coffee, and if she does not, then it will be her loss on meeting a great woman, and making a new friend...!!
I am however sure the answer will be yes...!!
Hugs,
~real _________________ .
.
light is to darkness as love is to fear...
Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:24 pm
nvgal
Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 27
Location: BC, Canada
hehehe
She opened the card which she loved - it was handmade by me of course!
She said she would read the note later on. I actually asked her for coffee but said I wanted to ask her for dinner but didn't want her to think I was crazy.....but.....if it was dinner she wanted then we could do that too. I actually can't believe that I wrote that LOL!
I think it is going to be a long long day til I pick my son up.
Mon Dec 17, 2007 6:32 pm
MysteryGirl Moderators
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder
Hi there NvGal, welcome to Mels.
Real can hold all the thumbs she wants, Ive got my fingers crossed for you hon
Let us know how it goes!
Noni _________________ Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!
Tue Dec 18, 2007 1:53 am
nvgal
Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 27
Location: BC, Canada
Thank you so much Noni!
I didn't hear anything today
Geez I am in a rush LOL!
Tue Dec 18, 2007 2:03 am
HurleyGurly
Joined: 11 Oct 2007
Posts: 37
Location: New York
welcome gal... wow you got me on the edge of my seat waiting for this reply ehhe..best of luck to you =)
Tue Dec 18, 2007 2:06 am
nvgal
Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 27
Location: BC, Canada
Thanks Hurley......I will be sure to let you know!
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I actually can't believe that I wrote that LOL!
