So I came out to my family a year go. And I am with this girl who has yet to come out to her family. On top of all that its a long distance relationship (about 500 miles) So needless to say, for the year and a half weve been seeing eachother its been difficult to find time, based on the reasons above. Anywho, She swore up and down that January would be when she would tell her family. I want with all my heart to believe her, but theres something inside going..yeah sure. Becuaes I know she is nervous, and I am in no way pushing her because everyone has to 'come out' at his or her own time. Just to me, Id rather not be promised it would happen if she wasnt sure. But she just gets very irratated that I dont believe that shes going to go through with it. I am trying. Its just hard. i have trust issues, so of course 'OMG YAY' isnt the first thing that comes in my head. -sigh- I guess I just dont know where to go. I'm usually a very 'love love while its here, because you might not have it tomorrow thing' I guess its my trust issue thing playing the field again. -sigh- any opinions out there ladies? _________________ There's an angel in waiting.
Wed Dec 26, 2007 3:24 pm
Hawaiian
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 816
Location: Transplanted to Africa
Aloha lizsgirl,
First off, Welcome To Mels!
You are right, everyone has to come out in their own way and at their own pace. I firmly believe that coming out is a process not an event. That is to say, that it happens in little increments all through your life.
Maybe, if you could find it in your heart to support your girl in the process, then you'll frame it less in terms of your trust issues.
Promises, well, are just that...promises. There's no guarantee. She promises January, but we can't see the future...it may happen, it may not, for a variety of reasons. When she tells you January maybe she's saying to you that she needs time in her own process to 1) figure out how she's going to do it and 2) weigh the risks involved.
I understand that you have trust issues, but don't let your expectations of disappointment run the show. Your g/f needs to understand that while you are not pinning any hopes in the future (due to trust issues), that has little to do with you standing behind her in her process.
~Hawn _________________ 'A'a i ka hula, e waiho i ka hilahila i ka hale.
Dare to dance, leave your shyness at home.
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