I'm here to ask for advice with getting to know other lesbians.
I'm scared to death to tell girls I like girls because most of them like boys and are grossed out by lesbians. In fear, I end up telling them I like boys too. I'm positive that I am passing up the chance to find a gay girl this way but I am so shy and scared to be open with my sexuality around girls...
what can I do? I would love to know how to be open but not disgust the wrong girls...
Mon Jun 09, 2008 4:38 pm
Eilidh Moderators
Joined: 09 Apr 2005
Posts: 1880
Hi byebyebeautyful,
You bring up several interesting topics in your post. Yes, you may be passing up opportunities to get to know other gay women, but then again, you can only push yourself so far. When you're first coming out, it's the baby steps that are the most important.
Regarding girls being "grossed out" by lesbians, they probably only act that way because they are ill-informed and don't know any other way to react. You have a special chance to correct their views. If they still experience aversion to lesbianism and to you being lesbian, then it may be time to consider if they really are your friends at all.
~Eilidh
Mon Jun 09, 2008 7:49 pm
byebyebeautyful
Joined: 08 Jun 2008
Posts: 3
thanks for the tip, but its also girls i meet in school or work and i always pass up the chance to just say oh i dont date guys or that i am interested in women.
i was with one girl once but she was just bi-curious and as i found out, very skanky :[
Mon Jun 09, 2008 11:44 pm
Purp
Joined: 20 May 2008
Posts: 174
Location: I'm at my computer
I'm sorry to hear that, beautyful. You mention school and work. Are you in high school or college, and does it have a "gay club" of some sort? You might try joining a club like that. Good luck, and remember, she's out there and perfect for you. Good luck. _________________ Smile! You are loved!
Tue Jun 10, 2008 12:09 am
findyourpassion
Joined: 24 Aug 2006
Posts: 82
Yeah, when I figured out I was gay I was in undergrad and I went to some of the school's GSA meetings, and that was the first place I told anyone I was gay. I found it easier, first of all because obviously everyone there is accepting, but I also find it easier to tell people who haven't known me since I thought I was straight, because it's not a switch for them, it's just part of me. That said, there are still plenty of times I lie by omission. For example, just saying no to a question about whether I have a boyfriend, or anything else where I just don't correct people's assumption that I'm hetero. Just do whatever you're comfortable with. If you're comfortable telling people, they are more likely to also be comfortable, although obviously they won't always be. But if you're uncomfortable telling them, they probably will be too, so just do what feels right!
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