So, I'm going to put myself a little bit out here for a moment.
I can't imagine I'm the only one, but ... has anyone else felt extreme empathy (most recently) for the victims of the Haitian earthquake? (As much as I hate to use the term "victim", I can't think of a more appropriate one right now.)
It's not a case of forced sympathy. I don't have a television, so I'm not bombarded with constant images. I do (obviously) have Internet access and I read about the situation, but no more than once a day. I've never been to Haiti. I have friends from the Dominican Republic (right next to Haiti), but they and their families are all physically fine.
I've worked with some of the U.S. relief efforts for donations, supplies, etc., but it's still absolutely maddening that I "can't" be on the island helping out directly, even though I possess some of the skills required for the current work. I must admit that, as someone who speaks neither French nor Creole, I would just be another burden added to the chaos ... nor would it make much sense for me to interrupt my university studies at this point. (We all have our complicated web of reasons, some more addressable than others.)
So to bring this back to a broader concept, for those of us who feel empathy (including any empaths who may be around here), what do we do, or can we do, to reconcile our inability to act
directly
in any given situation with our desire to positively influence the outcome of that situation, in effect, to create change?
Ideas, questions,
positive
criticism, and encouragement are all welcome!
~Eilidh
(engineer/activist/organizer)
Last edited by Eilidh on Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:01 am; edited 7 times in total
Thu Feb 04, 2010 6:31 pm
Khaleesi Moderators
Joined: 06 May 2005
Posts: 551
Location: FL
Great topic!
The language barrier puts me at a disadvantage, also. I'm sure my medical background would come in handy if I had the ability to communicate in some way other than mime. Obviously, there are other things that can be contributed such as supplies, money etc. It can be hard to choose how to do that also. Right now Pho and I are not in a position financially to send money. We struggle just to keep the lights on and food on the table for the kids. I guess it comes down to sending positive energy to those that are there, for us at least. I applaud those that sacrifice their time and energy and money to help those in need anywhere in the world.
I'm not sure this really counts as 'ideas' but I do believe positive energy can influence the outcome of any situation.
Khaleesi _________________ Hike up your skirt a little more and show your world to me.....
Never start a row in public when it can be settled politely in private. ~My Father~
Thu Feb 04, 2010 7:00 pm
pharos
Joined: 21 Jun 2009
Posts: 583
Location: Australia
Great question, Eil.
I'm religious, so praying is an integral part of expressing empathy for me. Apart from the practical way which is donating money or, even more importantly than that, actually being there and helping people, I believe praying emanates intense healing energy when it is done with humbleness and deep concentration. It’s a way of connecting to all human beings through Jesus.
I do admire those that just get up and go help, though. Wish I could do that too, but like you said we all have our "complicated web of reasons".
Pharos
Thu Feb 04, 2010 11:26 pm
Eilidh Moderators
Joined: 09 Apr 2005
Posts: 1880
Khaleesi and Pharos,
Thank you both for your great responses. I find it interesting that both of you mention spiritual connection as the first, perhaps obvious, answer that comes to mind. I agree wholeheartedly that any form of moral support can be beneficial because it has the tendency to multiply exponentially. That is, the more people that offer their support, the more other people begin to also offer support, and the more that support is relayed/recognized/felt/etc. by the people for whom the support is intended (in this case, the Haitians affected by the earthquake.)
How, in your opinion, does prayer/positive energy/etc. interact with physical action? That is, do you see a point or points where the two methods intersect? Or perhaps they run parallel and support one another along the way? Can you imagine other models for describing how spiritual action and physical action reinforce one another? [Have I completely lost everyone yet? )
For everyone else, the original question still applies. (See first post.) I'd love to read more of people's ideas on this.
~Eilidh
Fri Feb 05, 2010 7:37 pm
Guest
Hi Eili... I'd like to try and answer this... Well first, some of the support given from my family is financial but it seems so little... And like you say, it's so hard to feel as if you're actually helping sending monetary support because you can't see where it goes, or feel the touch of someone you are helping, or actually empathically appreciate their suffering as intensely as if you were there.
I think in our own ways, whatever faith we are, that prayer and meditation does multiply the strength of the human spirit. Not only does prayer and meditation help the one you are praying for, but also the meditator.
There have been scientific studies done, that actually have proven the effectiveness of prayer in healing. The person does not even have to believe it will help! This is the amazing part about it. The prayer has to believe it but not the one prayed for. This is demonstrated in the healing arts.
Anyway, one of my points about helping the people of Haiti is, that it's helpful to give what we can. If we can only give a prayer, that is still so much more, than not caring. And when you care about the suffering of others, somehow that care gets transported over time and space in ways we do not understand. We cannot fix the problems of the world without action, but we cannot fix them either without belief. Concentrating on that belief, and acting on it are both necessary in this life. Some of us help through organizations and some help through their places of worship. Some help by being able to go there. In my view, this IS prayer. The whispered wish of well being and hope, and the smallest acts of generosity in thought, word or deed.
I dunno... just my take on it. Thanks for talking about this, Eili, and lets hope somehow, that those who are there on the front lines can carry our goodwill with them, and that none of us is removed emotionally from the plight of those who suffer throughout this world. "J"
Fri Feb 05, 2010 11:35 pm
PipSqueak
Joined: 04 Jul 2008
Posts: 987
Location: S.W. England
We've been fund raising in school from "hats for Haiti", cake sales, sponsered silence which is a big deal for a school which rarely fund raises other than the occasional non-uniform.
We were very proud to hear in assembly this week that some of the dogs that went to Haiti with the UK team were police dogs from our city. Dogs whose training and upkeep we have funded through local taxes. The world is a small place and you'll never know how you have helped indirectly either in a practical sense or on a spritual level through energy or motivating people.
Fri Feb 05, 2010 11:45 pm
Guest
Wow... that's really something, Purple... I have to look into this and see if there are organizations here that have sent search and rescue dogs too. That is really a fantastic contribution. "J"
Sat Feb 06, 2010 12:24 am
Khaleesi Moderators
Joined: 06 May 2005
Posts: 551
Location: FL
I love the fund raising Purple! It gives people a chance to contribute as a community. Even if someone doesn't have the extra money at that moment, they may feel they can contribute their time by organizing or just 'manning' the sale table. Such a great idea!
J, great description of the prayer/positive energy connection! On a much simpler scale, think of how a smile can change your day. I have rarely smiled at someone that they didn't smile in return, and probably got passed on to someone else and on and on. I know that's a really simple example but imagine how attitudes change when you are smiling. I believe positive energy/prayer is so powerful
because
it is an actual energy.
Khaleesi _________________ Hike up your skirt a little more and show your world to me.....
Never start a row in public when it can be settled politely in private. ~My Father~
Sat Feb 06, 2010 3:37 pm
Eilidh Moderators
Joined: 09 Apr 2005
Posts: 1880
Thanks everyone for your responses so far. Let's keep this conversation going!
quote:Originally posted by Jcreaturelover:
Not only does prayer and meditation help the one you are praying for, but also the meditator.
Absolutely! Steadying the mind helps you to more clearly see what need to be done (or not done). It helps you to see things as they are.
quote:Originally posted by Jcreaturelover:
We cannot fix the problems of the world without action, but we cannot fix them either without belief.
I really like this. I would add that we cannot "fix" (or improve) them without the belief that something can change and that we have the collective ability to do so.
quote:Originally posted by PurpleUK:
We were very proud to hear in assembly this week that some of the dogs that went to Haiti with the UK team were police dogs from our city.
This is really encouraging to hear! I wouldn't be surprised if more people from your area continued to help with the relief efforts, precisely because of that direct connection. Khaleesi has a good point too -- that fundraising requires both a funder and a fund-raiser! Both components are equally crucial to the success of the project.
quote:Originally posted by Khaleesi:
On a much simpler scale, think of how a smile can change your day. I have rarely smiled at someone that they didn't smile in return, and probably got passed on to someone else and on and on.
Yes, exactly. I've also been surprised at the number of "strangers" i have smiled at, who I later recognize as members of the community. It's similar to learning a new word; you learn what it means and then it seems to be everywhere. Really, you just notice it more because you have established a personal connection and have strengthened those memory pathways in the brain.
quote:Originally posted by Khaleesi:
I believe positive energy/prayer is so powerful because it is an actual energy.
This struck a chord with me and made me wonder about the parallels between energy and action, i.e. does energy fuel action or can the transmission of energy/thought/etc. be considered an action unto itself? (Think about what I posted before about intersections and parallels.) I'm considering "action" here to be more movement-based, whereas prayer/meditation/etc. is nearly the opposite (based on the individual remaining still), but is still very clearly "doing something" as opposed to doing nothing at all. On first glance, I could answer "yes" to both questions, but the more I think about it, the more I realize how useful it may be to identify influences and draw distinctions between the two.
But before we get too far into quantum physics or the science vs. spirituality debate, I want to pose another question that is more along the lines of what I was actually thinking when I wrote the original post.
If we imagine a network of people and efforts coming together to help the Haitian people rebuild their country, we could separate the "helpers" into people on the ground and people helping from a distance (through donations, supplies, spiritual support, etc.). Some of the people helping will feel satisfied with the amount of help they can give--they're giving all they can--while others still give all they can give, but don't feel satisfied with their contribution. What do you say to those people who fully recognize the enormity of the situation, fully contribute whatever they can, and yet still face that brick wall of wanting to do more and not being able to? How do you (theoretically and/or personally) accept your individual insufficiency while, at the same time, recognizing the fact that every little contribution will add up to an even greater whole?
Sat Feb 06, 2010 10:45 pm
MysteryGirl Moderators
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder
quote:Originally posted by Eilidh:
If we imagine a network of people and efforts coming together to help the Haitian people rebuild their country, we could separate the "helpers" into people on the ground and people helping from a distance (through donations, supplies, spiritual support, etc.). Some of the people helping will feel satisfied with the amount of help they can give--they're giving all they can--while others still give all they can give, but don't feel satisfied with their contribution. What do you say to those people who fully recognize the enormity of the situation, fully contribute whatever they can, and yet still face that brick wall of wanting to do more and not being able to? How do you (theoretically and/or personally) accept your individual insufficiency while, at the same time, recognizing the fact that every little contribution will add up to an even greater whole?
Perhaps this is just a little simplistic but personally I think that it comes down to exactly what you just said Eil, in some cases, we have to just "accept' that what we are doing is the best we can do in any given situation, if you have surveyed your own options and not found any way to contribute any more. Feeling dissatisfied with your own efforts, even if they are all you can manage at the time, tends to breed a sort of negativity that would not be conducive to the spirit of giving.
I recognise that I am not in a position to do more than I do, which is contribute a small amount of financial aid on a regular basis to several charities, both overseas and within my own country. I have thoroughly checked into the workings of these organisations and am satisfied that they use the monies collected in the best way possible. By contributing on a regular basis (not just when an emergency strikes) I hope it helps them to maintain their core of volunteers and aid.
Just my 0.2c worthj. _________________ Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!
Sat Feb 06, 2010 11:22 pm
Khaleesi Moderators
Joined: 06 May 2005
Posts: 551
Location: FL
quote:Originally posted by MysteryGirl:
Feeling dissatisfied with your own efforts, even if they are all you can manage at the time, tends to breed a sort of negativity that would not be conducive to the spirit of giving.
I think MG has hit on a key point here. While I feel positive energy can have it's effects, I also believe negative energy can do the same. We have to understand that once we have done all we can do we
must
be satisfied. Being dissatisfied can undo all the positive things we have done. Be satisfied with your efforts until you are in a position to do more.
Khaleesi _________________ Hike up your skirt a little more and show your world to me.....
Never start a row in public when it can be settled politely in private. ~My Father~
Sun Feb 07, 2010 1:40 am
Eilidh Moderators
Joined: 09 Apr 2005
Posts: 1880
quote:Originally posted by MysteryGirl:
in some cases, we have to just "accept' that what we are doing is the best we can do in any given situation, if you have surveyed your own options and not found any way to contribute any more.
quote:Originally posted by Khaleesi:
We have to understand that once we have done all we can do we must be satisfied. Being dissatisfied can undo all the positive things we have done.
Yes, I think you're both right. For whatever reason, I find it easier to be satisfied with what I have (or don't have) and more difficult to find that same satisfaction with what I do (or don't do). For other people, it may be the reverse, or not apply at all.
You have all given me some good food for thought.
Thank you.
~Eilidh
Sun Feb 07, 2010 4:58 pm
DanceofSorrows
Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837
Interesting topic Eil,
I do feel empathy but I am also distant from it right now because I can't do anything...well rather I can't do what I know would help....send money right now. I am so stuck in a financial hole right now with everything breaking down, unexpected financial burdens and being so slow at work that.... I just don't want to feel empathy because it creates guilt. And it creates guilt because I feel a social responsibility to help.
Dance~
Sat Feb 13, 2010 9:28 pm
Eilidh Moderators
Joined: 09 Apr 2005
Posts: 1880
((((((((Dance))))))))
You bring up a very interesting point about "wanting" to feel one way or the other, in this case, not wanting to feel empathetic. This may sound like a silly question, but I'll ask it anyway: if you could feel empathy without feeling guilt, would you still feel a social responsibility to help?
Hugs,
Eilidh
Sun Feb 14, 2010 1:34 am
DanceofSorrows
Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837
Yes I do and worry about how I can accomplish that.
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