Four months ago I found myself very much in love for the 1st time in my life. Remember the famous quote from the movie Jerry Mcguire: "You had me at hello"? well, she had me at goodbye. You see when I met her I was serving her drinks (I'm a bartender) and she started flirting w/ me but I didn't think anything of it since flirting w/ guests is part of the job. As the night went by, we began to talk more and more and soon I found myself very drawn to her. As we hugged and said our goodbyes i wished I could stop time just so that I could have a few more minutes to look at her. Beauitful! She is just so beautiful.
For the next month, things were going great. Everyday we talked and when time permitted us to be together it was unbelievable. She loved all the things I loved- I have never dated a woman who love ultimate fighting, jazz, sleeping ( naps are so underrated), singing (even though I suck she still would listen to me) & that was one of the things that made me fall in love w/ her- she listened to me & she believed in me & she encouraged me.
Last month, things became different. On many occations she would tell me she would meet me somewhere & never show up Too many times I woulld call & it would be days afterward that she would finally call. Then it got to the point where I hadn't seen her in two weeks ( mind you we only live less than 15 minutes away from e/o). She broke it off w/ me stating that she was just too busy w/ her work & she is very passionate about her job...so...she doesn't have the time to put into a relationship w/ me What? I fought for us but she stood by her words, "I'm too busy w/ work". It took awhile for me to agree that we were over. My brain understands that concept but my heart still longs for her. It's been over a month since I last seen or talked to her. I don't want to love her! I'm trying not to love her! I am waiting for the day I wake up & not think of her. I want to be able to go about my day & not have something remind of her. I've tried to move on w/ another girl but all I kept doing was think about how that girl was nothing like my love. She is still the only woman I want to be intimate w/. I still believe that we are perfect for e/o- why am I still doing this to myself?
I know it over! The question is how do I get this woman out of my head & espically out of my heart
Sun May 22, 2005 2:14 am
Mairi bheag
Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland
There is no known cure for this, but believe me we do move on. Never be afraid to love, even when it hurts; and never be afraid to walk onward, even if that seems to take you further away from that love. You will survive!
Mb
xx _________________ all posted material (c) Marie Marshall, unless otherwise stated.
Sun May 22, 2005 8:07 am
kultis
Joined: 17 May 2005
Posts: 341
Location: a finn living in dutchland atm..
Listen to Mairi, she's got a point. I don't know what else to say - Mairi has said it
kultis
Sun May 22, 2005 8:24 am
Phoenix Moderators
Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 1664
Location: Tallahassee Florida
Hello L Train,
Big Hug for you, i know you need it. I encourage you to reach out to friends, talk and share as you feel comfortable, and get busy doing something fun for yourself. Don't sit around crying over her. Yes, it hurts, but you will survive this. There may be lots of reasons she ended it. Fear of that closeness, committment phobia even to date, job, family, another person... who knows. The truth is, you deserve to be happy, and only you can act on that right.
Take care ,
brat _________________ "A little work won't hurt you bad, but just in case I'm wrong, you'll be smiling when they pronounce you dead." Amanda Marshall 'This could take all night
Sun May 22, 2005 4:11 pm
L-Train
Joined: 22 May 2005
Posts: 21
Location: San Diego
Thankyou
Thankyou everyone. Your words are very encouraging. I do feel better today than I did yesterday. One day @ a time _________________ I will never awake
For she has made me love
Soon my desire will be called ink-stained
What
Sadness!
Wed May 25, 2005 12:23 am
Floridagirl
Joined: 27 Sep 2004
Posts: 43
Location: Florida
Re: I'm Trying Not To Love Her
quote:Originally posted by L-Train:
. . . The question is how do I get this woman out of my head & espically out of my heart
Oh L-Train! Girl, I wish I had a solution for you . . . and myself as well. I am totally head-over-heals for a woman (after 7 months!) and I'm in a 5-year relationship which has been non-intimate for 3 years. I think this woman likes me, but doesn't want to get involved with someone in a relationship - who can blame her. Anyway, I feel your pain doll. I have been going through it for months myself . . . I wish there was an easy solution, but all I know is the old cliche that "time heals all wounds." Just know you aren't alone. . . . the long desiring nights, the thoughts at work so that you can't concentrate, her face popping in your head when you least expect it - like at the grocery store, . . . .the list is endless.
Mon Jun 20, 2005 5:57 pm
simplydjo
Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 18
Location: Texas
I understand exactly what you're talking about (see my post sighs its over) its been about 9 months and it really is getting easier. I went to Dallas this weekend and had fun! Yes I thought of her, how nice it would have been to have her with me but I turned it into, her loss she SHOULD be here but she CHOSE not to be you know. Its amazing the number of friends I know have (turns out they didnt wanna get me in trouble before). Once the tears dry and they will, you will see things clearer. You have her on that pedestal now and honey she will slowly fall and that will hurt you all over again but next time her face pops up or a thought brings you to tears. STOP, SMILE, and just say Thank you for loving me once. Oh yea, lots of prozac doesnt hurt either j/k
Smile, friends, cry when you want to then stop and trust in yourself that you ARE a good person and worth loving.
Mon Jun 20, 2005 9:10 pm
Athena
Joined: 26 Aug 2004
Posts: 314
Location: Berlin
Hey Girl,
You said it; One day at a time. Having lots of friends around helps a lot. Anyway, you deserve to be treated better. Look at this as an opportunity to finally meet the person who loves and respects you right back!
Stay Gold
A. _________________ "We strive for beauty and balance, the sensual over the sentimental."
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Too many times I woulld call & it would be days afterward that she would finally call. Then it got to the point where I hadn't seen her in two weeks ( mind you we only live less than 15 minutes away from e/o). She broke it off w/ me stating that she was just too busy w/ her work & she is very passionate about her job...so...she doesn't have the time to put into a relationship w/ me 
What? 
I fought for us but she stood by her words, "I'm too busy w/ work". It took awhile for me to agree that we were over. My brain understands that concept but my heart still longs for her. It's been over a month since I last seen or talked to her. I don't want to love her! I'm trying not to love her! I am waiting for the day I wake up & not think of her. I want to be able to go about my day & not have something remind of her. I've tried to move on w/ another girl but all I kept doing was think about how that girl was nothing like my love. She is still the only woman I want to be intimate w/. I still believe that we are perfect for e/o- why am I still doing this to myself?
