I closed my eyes and in my anger I said ‘bye’
I closed the door, locked it and ate the key
I remember the hours when I hold thy hand
Those sweet little moments of peace and pure love
And the nights were like taken from Rimbaud’s poetry
Damned souls, cursed to elude pleasure from every touch
And your lips never left mine, my hand in yours
Your sweet body dancing next to mine
And then your naked body lying next to mine
I used to roam and devour your blossomed body
I used to make plaits in your hair
I used to kiss a void and it turned into a mouth
I then kissed a bare chest and inside a heart popped up
I kissed a belly and a navel appeared
So I gave you a history, a mother, a name
I touched your legs and taught them to roam…
Ohh demons! Oh God! I have made my mistake!
You roamed, leaving my barren soul behind.
One can’t give what one doesn’t have!
I wanted to place in your heart love for me
But I could not for I also didn’t loved thee!
I used to like belonging to no one and to all
I liked to say I was single and leave broken hearts behind
I liked… Now I like you and I can’t have you!
Poor wee soul! I taught you to fly and now you’re gone!
Now before you go I kiss thy eyes and make them see
Make them see the love inside of me!
I kiss thy brow and give you wisdom!
But you left and in my anger I said ‘bye!’
People always place their wisdom in the care of instincts
When they should place it the other way around!
I hold my head in my hands and slowly cry
I miss those nights, I miss thy touch, I miss…
Oh powers that rule all, make the person see… think… love…
Another cursed night, again alone, again a barren soul
I looked for pleasure in other things, persons, demons, Angeles
Poor fool! I have found that I’m in lack of you
I kisses others and let myself caressed by their hands
But it only made my skin burn more powerful
I talked to others about you, revealed all thy flaws
All of them laughed, they say I love you!
If that is true why did I let you go away, love?
When I close my eyes I see only you! I can feel you!
I saw you with another one and it hurt me to the core
Fainted and broke a bone, but the way you left hurts more
I cry and eat no more! I wanna die and wait you up — down there!
I decided to write you a note and say some truths:
“I am the one who gave you life
And I will give it again to you
Just come back and kiss me!
Your leaving left me crying
I realized I really need you
Need you to breath, to live!
I taught you every thing you know
I taught you not how to love!
I knew not. I learned it now
When you left me barren!
Now I love you for real
Come let me teach you!
Look for me… home!
9 p.m. – time to go to the club in the corner
Combed my hair and arranged it with some azure gel
Smiled to the face in the mirror and used that sweet perfume
Only you were missing to make my night, to make me complete
Went to the club faster than the lighting, my head exploding
Drank something that made me loosen up a bit, danced on a rhythm
I turned to see you and your queer friend standing there, holding hands
Your friend smiled and left to get a drink! Oh God! I went to you…
Taking your hand you smiled, leaning forward, puffing at my neck
Body pressed on body; hearts beating close near the other
Your eyes betraying all the longing moments you’ve been through
Your light touches burned my heart, and bruised my pride
A blues began, smiling you said ‘C’mon!’ and wrapped me in thy arms
We danced, your body moving like a wave and me, the sailor, knew its way
You bend thy head and looked into my soul, leaning forward you kissed me
The barren soul you left behind bloomed and desire washed over me
And like a baby I cried, I kissed you with tears in my eyes. Thank you God!
Your grabbed my hand and giggling, like two kids, we left the club
Like a storm we arrived home. “We are home! Care to dance?” you asked.
I pressed the bottom “play”. You threw your shirt away and squeezed my butt.
And tho’ I touched you before it seemed the first time and I cried once more
Your hair so soft, your skin smelled like honey and milk, so soft, so delicate
I lowered my head and licked a trail on your neck – you moaned
I unbelt your jeans and they felt to the floor, and I took you to the shower
“Please!” your voice begged as I let the water pour and I hugged you
With a low voice I asked you once more “Staying?” and you said no word
You turned, took my shirt off and unbeltin’ my jeans you smiled
I was naked like a baby; you kissed your way down – down to my center
And teasing you brought out the best of me – everything is spinning
Demons! Angel! Darkness! Light! I’m at your mercy! Undo me!
“Take me! I’m yours!” you utter. And I can’t say ‘no’ to you
I, like always, have no mercy. I set you on fire like a mad one.
How I missed this body, wrestling under me! It’s smell it’s flavour.
I was going mad without thee! All these lonely nights I cried.
But now that I have you here all my tears worth their falling
Now that I have you here all my pain worth feeling
Now that you’re near me in our bed I cry of happiness
I wish I could be strong enough to hold you here
But I’m not! You’re a rip that sometimes has a heart
You’re a free queer; your freedom is not mine… You’re free!
You came with another. Damn you and all your lies!
I turned into a big fool, a ragged person cadging for love
What an irony… I used to belong to nobody, to none
Now I want to be yours, forever nestled in your arms.
All our friends were laughing and I left the bar
Coming after me you smiled and cuddled me
“Don’t be rabid… I still love thee!”
How many demons you have in thee?
Questions left with no answers; never will I come to thee…
Lights, darkness, pintos… This is my punishment
I have to get over thee. I must learn to say ‘no’ to thee
I must and I will for your love is intoxicating
Have you heard of a poison that is not sweet?
You taste sweet, but you kill me day after day!
I turn my back to you. I leave you behind!
I turn around and see my best friend
I realize I loved my friend since the beginning
‘Some friendships should not evolve…’
Why are all these things happening to me?
Damned story of a damned soul
I hope this time my heart sorrow won’t know…
I place my wishes and my love in thee, for thee
I bet all at this game called love… I do that
Cause I’m broke without you, I’m rich only with you…
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