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Poetry Forum Index -> Humorous Poetry

Pheasant Surprise

 LifeVita6
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melons
Site Admin


Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 2371
 		Pheasant Surprise

 I know you will never believe this
although it really is quite true,
I was driving along the highway
that's something I often do.

It was an early monday morning
and the sun was rising high,
the roads were really busy
and the traffic raced on by.

I was thoroughly lost in thought
even driving without a care,
when, what should I see
standing under sunlights glare.

A black dot in the distance
(and I squinted and I peered)
in the middle of the road
this thing had just appeared!

I continued with my driving
never slowing down my pace,
gradually understanding
what stared me in the face.

I wondered which lane to take,
I tried to second guess,
if I hit the bloody pheasant
it sure would make a mess!

I'm sure it looked me in the eye
I looked at it right back,
it wavered, turned and ran
then took the other track.

I sighed with some relief
(still not slowing down)
when horror of horrors
the bird.... it turned around.

It stopped and paused a moment,
the distance lessening,
then moved into my lane;
let me tell you one thing.

I never had a chance
there was nowhere to go,
I could'nt turn around
I looked at it with woe.

A millisecond passed
(in slow motion no less)
before we collided;
I dreaded the mess.

For an instant I blinked
then my eyes shut up tight,
I waited for the thud
knowing this birds plight.

I opened them soon after
(a shudder ran up my spine)
and thought that everything
would turn out just fine.

I continued on my way
with traffic everywhere,
then looked to my left
and sighed in despair.

For there in the seat
sitting right next to me,
was that bloody little pheasant
oh, it was soooo gory!

It was flung from the bonnet,
landed through the sunroof,
this really is quite true
though I have no proof.

It was really very freaky,
I screamed and I squeeled,
I even had some trouble
controlling the damn wheel.

I wondered what do I do,
in a qaundery for sure;
I pulled onto the hard shoulder
and wondered about a cure.

The poor bird was stone dead
it was killed in a mere second,
this was far, far more
than I had ever reckoned.

It's illegal in the UK, you know
to poach the Queens pheasant
and this one in my car
now looked very unpleasant.

I picked it up at arms length
'eeeoooow, yucky' I said;
then looked at the car seat
now stained a bright, bright red.

I wanted to bury it....
to say an appropriate word,
but really what does one say
to a very hapless bird!
Post Mon Jan 16, 2006 1:23 pm 
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ghost



Joined: 06 Nov 2005
Posts: 2828
Location: MIA

ROFL...

pot luck???

duc' l'Orange.....?

you need a recipe, mel??

regards
ghost
_________________
MIA

Post Mon Jan 16, 2006 1:39 pm 
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Mdm Prez



Joined: 19 May 2005
Posts: 1536
Location: U.S. of A. 		Mel

 When you first told me this story on the phone, I couldn't stop laughing.

Now, in poetry, it is even more hilarious. This just cracks me up!!!

Cat
(I love you)
_________________
If you're not getting the answers you want,
you're not asking the right questions.
Post Mon Jan 16, 2006 6:37 pm 
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melons
Site Admin


Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 2371

quote:
Originally posted by ghost:
ROFL...

pot luck???

duc' l'Orange.....?

you need a recipe, mel??

regards
ghost


Hey ghost Smile

yeah, I need a recipe...quick. Next poem should be the pleasant pheasant Plucker I think. What do you reckon Wink

luv'n'hugs,

Mel xx
Post Sun Jan 22, 2006 12:00 am 
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melons
Site Admin


Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 2371
 		Cat
quote:
Originally posted by Mdm Prez:
When you first told me this story on the phone, I couldn't stop laughing.

Now, in poetry, it is even more hilarious. This just cracks me up!!!

Cat
(I love you)
My Sweetheart Smile

As you know this actually happened to me. I wonder what the odds of this happening were *chuckling. I'm so glad you found this rib tickling.

Te amo my darling,

Your Mel xxx
Post Sun Jan 22, 2006 12:01 am 
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