ummm...huh?
I do not mean to be rude or insensitive or anything of the sort...but is this a poem you would like feedback on or are you asking a philosophical question...or maybe it is philosophical poetry.
As I tell everyone…
Disclaimer
For your information the following input by me is my own personal opinion and suggestions (after all that is what you want and asked for by posting here in the feedback section of the poetry forum).
My opinion/suggestions are offered as constructive criticism so take nothing I say personally since I may be blunt and to the point.
You may freely use anything or nothing that I have suggested that is up to you.
I ponder loves thoughts...
these thoughts of love,
loving the one your with
be with the one you love
is it the same or different?
How do you love the one your with,
if you cannot be with the one you love?
It is a question that trancends time itself,
will I ever know the answer of true love?
I hope you take no offense to my little poem on what you had written and I will say again that everything I say is my own personal opinion and is not meant to offend. It is meant to help you and hopefully help you to improve.
The poem I wrote above is one way of which what you wrote could have been written in a more poetic form
What you had written just did not seem like poetry to me. It seemed more like a series of philisophical questions that would have been more appropriately posted in the chit chat section of the general forum.
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