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Poetry Forum Index -> 'My Girl' Poetry

Lone Star

 LifeVita6
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smart_cookie



Joined: 12 Aug 2006
Posts: 2310
Location: USA 		Lone Star

 There's a road
A two-lane blacktop
From DeLaur Boulevard
To the smash-up at the end

Rolling down it on a summer night
The only car on the road;
If I still drank, I would hold the bottle out the window
Under warm stars whose light is just a memory,
Close my eyes and
Hold my arm straight out
Til the wind catches that bottle
And it sings
Like a spiritual.
Post Fri Nov 17, 2006 3:41 am 
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Eiregirl



Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 10230
Location: Chasing a pink bunny

smart,

Makes me think of a nice drive on a lonely street late at nice with the cool wind blowing through my hair.

Eiregirl Arrow
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All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.
Post Fri Nov 17, 2006 4:04 am 
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smart_cookie



Joined: 12 Aug 2006
Posts: 2310
Location: USA

Well thank you, Eire. The more time that goes by since I wrote this, the better i keep liking it. But, either I was too diabolically clever in hiding it in the "my girl" section, or no one else liked it. No matter. It sings for me.

--Cookie
Post Sun Nov 19, 2006 2:59 am 
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rachelle



Joined: 20 Oct 2006
Posts: 391
Location: california

This is really and interesting one Cook--it is very visual. It reminds me of that movie something Angels w/ Meg Ryan--where at the end of the movie she's found true love and is riding a bike on a mountain road, with her arms outstretched and her head thrown back----then bam! She's hit by a fucking logging truck---I hope that isn't "the smash up" here---I love the visual of the bottle out the window and the wind making it sing--that is beautiful---well done--No crashes are coming, just new beginnings--rachelle
Post Sun Nov 19, 2006 5:49 am 
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a topless scientist



Joined: 18 Aug 2006
Posts: 131
Location: Ontario, Canada

I initially had a real big crush on DeLaur Boulevard , then I re-read this one this morning and it turns out I love it just as much! Every line is brilliant and the desperation is very poignant.

Warm big Hug,

Ts
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Post Sun Nov 19, 2006 1:40 pm 
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smart_cookie



Joined: 12 Aug 2006
Posts: 2310
Location: USA

quote:
Originally posted by a topless scientist:
I initially had a real big crush on DeLaur Boulevard , then I re-read this one this morning and it turns out I love it just as much! Every line is brilliant and the desperation is very poignant.

Warm big Hug,

Ts


Aw thank you, Ts, the two poems are really sisters.

Love you to bits, girl!

--Cookie
Post Sun Nov 19, 2006 4:47 pm 
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AbbieH5



Joined: 22 Apr 2007
Posts: 155
Location: dallas, tx

quote:
Til the wind catches that bottle
And it sings
Like a spiritual.

Thanks for bringing back that memory. I've never heard a bottle sing while driving. But I did enjoy a windy night while camping once. And there is something awesome about the wind across a bottle, almost like mother nature having the same fun we did as kids the first time someone taught us that trick Smile
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"I wish our clever young poets would remember my homely definitions of prose and poetry; that is, prose,—words in their best order; poetry,—the best words in their best order."-Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Post Sat Jun 23, 2007 3:10 am 
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Rio



Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Posts: 49
Location: USA

Nice write!
Post Wed Jun 27, 2007 5:29 am 
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desert-fish



Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted

it's a cool poem smart Very Happy
Post Mon Jul 09, 2007 6:44 am 
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Phoenix
Moderators


Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 1664
Location: Tallahassee Florida

quote:
Originally posted by smart_cookie_smart:
But, either I was too diabolically clever in hiding it in the "my girl" section, or no one else liked it. No matter. It sings for me.

--Cookie


Yes, you lil diabolical one, YOU HID IT!!!!!

But thanks for teaching me to peruse more than emotional or sensual poetry!

This is excellent per your usual. Lovely visuals and the feelings portrayed in it so well.

great job,

phoenix
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"A little work won't hurt you bad, but just in case I'm wrong, you'll be smiling when they pronounce you dead." Amanda Marshall 'This could take all night
Post Sun Jul 15, 2007 2:09 pm 
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