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desert-fish
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted
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deleted
deleted
Last edited by desert-fish on Sat Nov 24, 2012 7:43 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:09 am |
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Ashelita
Joined: 03 Mar 2007
Posts: 96
Location: an african soul living in england
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I love the double entendre. Something you can read again and see something new each time.
a _________________ "You'll never be able to dance unless you hear your own music .......... the words on your lips must reflect the truth of your heart. Otherwise your life's breath is muted."
-Carl A Hammerschlag-
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Thu Mar 27, 2008 10:57 am |
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desert-fish
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted
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quote:
Originally posted by Ashelita:
I love the double entendre. Something you can read again and see something new each time.
a
Thanx for your kind comments
Actually I rewrote it as:
Season of love
S
oothing
like cool rain on a parched land
slaking scalded earth
rejuvenates, and bids her give birth
to new bounty
E
nriching
as new soil succors seedling
from hibernation
to the call of rejuvenation
and a new life
A
wakening
as warmth after dormancy
recovers the hidden seed
from parsimonious ways, to heed
a new season
S
urprising
as the fledgling's nascent flight
and the song it sings
Hear how sonorously the notes ring
through the still air
O
verwhelming
as nature's sparkling palette
of color and light
douses the senses with opulent delight
in abundance
N
urturing
as the root for the flower
serves sap to nourish
all that would grow, blossom and flourish
in the spingtime
So is love
a new season
©2008 Robynne
Last edited by desert-fish on Sat Mar 29, 2008 7:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Thu Mar 27, 2008 5:31 pm |
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Ashelita
Joined: 03 Mar 2007
Posts: 96
Location: an african soul living in england
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sol-o
That's something I find interesting, being able to go back and rewrite a piece - particularly when it is a major overhaul, not something I find easy, I'm too stuck in the first expression usually to see a rebuild.
Bit of a debate here, but I think I prefer the first one - but then I might be biased towards the first exposure!
Ash _________________ "You'll never be able to dance unless you hear your own music .......... the words on your lips must reflect the truth of your heart. Otherwise your life's breath is muted."
-Carl A Hammerschlag-
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Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:17 pm |
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