I looked over as the door handle began to turn
The door opened and she walked in
Bundled in warm clothes
Cheeks pink from flu,
And I, once again,
She sat by the heater
Hands stuffed in bottomless pockets
As usual concerned about everyone
Everyone but herself!
But she had to go too sick to stay.
So she walked out again.
Opened the door and stepped out.
Taking my heart with her
In one of her bottomless pockets.
Tue Sep 08, 2009 11:51 am
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Location: I come from a land downunder
This is lovely WW, I think you captured beautifully how it feels when someone has our heart and they are so totally unaware of the fact.
HugZ, Noni _________________ Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!
Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:13 pm
Joined: 12 Aug 2006
Omg. This is just.....so beautiful and well done. And as MG said, we never know the effect we may have on someone, all unknowing. Thank you for sharing this sweet and poignant little gem.
Sat Mar 06, 2010 1:17 am
Joined: 11 Jul 2005
Your poem economically shaped but carved with emotion. Enjoyed so much.
Sun Mar 21, 2010 7:54 pm
Joined: 25 Jun 2009
Thank you so much for your kind comments MG, Smart Cookie and Summer Joy.
Wed Mar 24, 2010 9:28 am
Joined: 09 Apr 2005
I agree with SummerJoy in terms of structure. I also think this poem could expand into a beautiful story
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