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Poetry Forum Index -> Humorous Poetry

Shape Shifting (Or The Quest for My Abs)

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wanderinglost



Joined: 26 Feb 2007
Posts: 268
Shape Shifting (Or The Quest for My Abs)

As I speak, it’s been 49 weeks since I began my quest for the best body and abs
Although a little disquieting, faithfully, I’ve been dieting and exercising like mad
The dieting has not been hard because any hunger has been barred
By the amazing flax seed, a very good lead that I’m glad to have received.

And the exercising has not been bad, for which I’m more than relieved
I view it as my “me” time, a luxury sublime
101 pounds have I lost and as good as that sounds there’s more to go down
To be exact, and not speak in abstracts, that number’s a prime one—23.

But this last 23 may be the death of me
You see I have famine genes that in the past were a means of surviving
But in this age of plentiful food all with these genes are screwed
Since they make it hard when striving to lose.

My body resists letting go of this last bit
So now I must strategize to reach my perfect size
Two hours a day I work out, and about that I’m devout.
I never forget that my goal is to get fit—regaining my body, the prize.

A thousand crunches first thing in the morning,
Because I heeded the warning
I hate them the most so I do them post-haste
Then its 2 miles each day on the ski machine, also tackled early in the morning.

And on alternating days it’s either the weight craze
With the multi-gym, free weights, push-ups and isometric routines
Or the Pilates Reformer—that well-known body transformer
The adrenaline has hooked me; these are not simply a means to an end, but a way of life.

With all this, my body still resists letting go of the last 23
So I’ve had to resort to consulting various authorities for new exercise priorities
These experts say that each day you must keep your muscles confused
Don’t let them plateau; per their theories, constantly throw in something new.

So now I have Russian Kettlebells, which excel for Turkish Squats
A chin-up bar, which I hope won’t mar its mounting spot
Additional floor exercises for more muscle surprises and cardio
And more advanced routines for that Reformer machine, bought on video.

In the next 8 weeks I plan to lose the last 23
I want no fat on my bod so that my abs can be seen
I’m eager to reach my target weight, what I used to weigh when I really felt great
Yes, I’m going to lose this last 23 and be the old, lean me.

Post Tue Dec 11, 2007 1:26 am 
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Eiregirl



Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 10230
Location: Chasing a pink bunny


wondering,

just remember what the little red caboose said...and do it

Hugs,
Eiregirl Arrow
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All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.

Post Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:41 am 
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MdmPrez



Joined: 16 Oct 2007
Posts: 803
Location: US of A
lost

Gets the cheerleading squad in place...

GO LOST GO!!!

Cat

Post Wed Dec 12, 2007 4:45 am 
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wanderinglost



Joined: 26 Feb 2007
Posts: 268


Thanks for the moral support, Eire and Mdm. Smile


wandering
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"It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers." James Thurber

Post Wed Dec 12, 2007 8:19 am 
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Rosebud



Joined: 24 Jul 2007
Posts: 164


Exclamation

Last edited by Rosebud on Fri Mar 21, 2008 12:59 am; edited 1 time in total

Post Fri Dec 14, 2007 9:27 am 
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Cunni_L



Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 989


You go girl I've been working out for a long time and have strong muscles but like you am trying to get rid of what hides them, so keep on keeping on!!!!
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A true friend stabs you in the front.
Oscar Wilde

Post Tue Jan 01, 2008 7:45 pm 
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wanderinglost



Joined: 26 Feb 2007
Posts: 268


Thanks Cunni_L and Rose. I'm definately staying busy. Actually, exercise makes me feel so much better. Now if I can just get this last bit of fat off and see those abs. Very Happy

wandering
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"It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers." James Thurber

Post Thu Jan 03, 2008 1:19 am 
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