Say what you mean, mean what you say.
Everything has to be done the hard way.
The tears fall without notice, but they don't mean a thing.
Neither do the words you say, the pain that they bring.
Nothing changes, it never will.
You hate the world, it makes you ill.
The light outside your window never comes inside.
My heart can't take any more, Lord knows I've tried.
I've hit my knees to pray more times than you know.
Trying to understand, each time you bring me low.
But no answering light shines down, no help from above.
No clarity as to how you simply turn off your love.
Like a switch, you hit it, and simply care no more.
Locking out the memories, bolting the door.
While I stand outside, longing to come in...
I cannot knock anymore, I've lost the will to win.
For what do I lose when I finally give up?
When I simpy say, I have had enough.
Drying my tears, walking away.
Too many years I've tried to stay.
The load is too heavy, my heart too numb.
The price of waiting so long for acceptance to come.
But I cannot ignore the change within my soul.
You can only take so much, I'm no longer whole.
You stole my pride, my self-esteem..you even got my smile.
My happiness, my peace..I had it such a short little while.
All that's left inside is this little voice that just won't die.
Urging me to let go, to find the stregnth to fly.
Someday you'll wake up, and realize what you've done.
That lonliness and pain are all that you've won.
I am stronger than you know, I'm beginning to realize,
Life is much clearer when I see it through my own eyes.
I'll think of you, as I am now, with regret and a tear.
Wishing things were different, but never again with fear.
I am going to heal, and once I do I will move on.
And I hope to hell you miss me so much it hurts now that I've gone.
Xalia _________________ Nobody said life would be easy...They just promised it would be worth it.
~♥♥~
~The words fail me.. because what I feel for you is beyond description...~
Sat Jun 26, 2010 5:49 pm
MysteryGirl Moderators
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder
Dearest X............As cliched as it may sound, Time can be a great healer. You have made your decision, you have moved on, every line of this poem should become a mantra for you to repeat in the hard times...........except for the last line. Don't wish her hurt, of any kind, even if it is just the pain of missing you. Go forward with a full heart, wish her joy, peace, understanding and love. Don't leave room inside you for bitterness to sow it's seeds, otherwise you become no different yourself. This is no longer about her, it is about YOU.
That said, I can't imagine how hard this is, your are a strong, courageous woman.
HugZ, Noni _________________ Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!
Sat Jun 26, 2010 11:07 pm
pharos
Joined: 21 Jun 2009
Posts: 583
Location: Australia
This is a wonderful poem full of strength and light, Xalia. Thank you for sharing it with us.
hugs
Pharos
Sun Jun 27, 2010 12:11 am
melons Site Admin
Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 2371
(((((((((((((Xalia)))))))))))
your poems always have a wonderful rhythm and flow to them that I find quite beautiful and tantalising .
I'm so sorry that you're going through such upset ((((((((((X)))))))))))
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