when they say it’s ok, I’m gay,
they mean in the abstract,
ok to joke in the salt air,
we’re taking Mom to Provincetown
to find her a girlfriend, ok
to call the strange redhead
who turns to give her coupon
to save 3$ on whatever music
I am buying to my polite hand,
“my new girlfriend,” ok, to have
a 100 of them, so many everywhere,
while I, abstracted, distracted,
say “what?” “what’s that?” and bite
into some wry absence “oh that,
knock it off”. Ok to watch the L word,
ok too to be a ‘has been’
taking my temperture, to see if
I’ve been cured of my particular
passion, wondering, annoyed,
they wonder just how long does
it take for bruises to turn to yellow
and vanish in the skin. Ok, to be gay
in abstract, the theoretician along,
the therapist, but not ok to stand
in the kitchen, “under her spell”
again, that daze upon the skin,
“oh no, it’s not ok,” she says,
what bothered her the most
was that when I said “I love you”
she’d never heard that conviction
within my voice, it made her
feel though she’d grown up
with me, she’d never known me,
who was I, anyway, how could
I say it with conviction to one
I’d never meant
oh, well, I see I have been wrong
to try and make a house, it’s my own
house I have to claim, hearing
that conviction breaking
on my lips, shattering their abstractions
so I can feel and breathe
giving myself that conviction
in my heart, breaking against their abstractions
tonguing
I love you
into just your ear
Wed Apr 06, 2005 6:43 pm
smart_cookie
Joined: 12 Aug 2006
Posts: 2310
Location: USA
Wow! Having recently been to P-town, this had a special immediacy to it for me, but it is your images, your turns of phrase and the change in structure and tone in the last three lines that really drew me in and made me love this poem.
Cookie
Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:15 pm
lori
Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Posts: 1454
all of this poem drew me in!!!! (((hugs))) _________________
WHEN I FALL, I LOSE MY HEART AND FILL THE SPACE WITH HER..
Hugs,
Eiregirl _________________ All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are
Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine
These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.
Sun Dec 16, 2007 5:41 pm
Cunni_L
Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 989
_________________ A true friend stabs you in the front.
Oscar Wilde
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