There's a road
A two-lane blacktop
From DeLaur Boulevard
To the smash-up at the end
Rolling down it on a summer night
The only car on the road;
If I still drank, I would hold the bottle out the window
Under warm stars whose light is just a memory,
Close my eyes and
Hold my arm straight out
Til the wind catches that bottle
And it sings
Like a spiritual.
Makes me think of a nice drive on a lonely street late at nice with the cool wind blowing through my hair.
Eiregirl _________________ All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are
Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine
These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.
Fri Nov 17, 2006 4:04 am
smart_cookie
Joined: 12 Aug 2006
Posts: 2310
Location: USA
Well thank you, Eire. The more time that goes by since I wrote this, the better i keep liking it. But, either I was too diabolically clever in hiding it in the "my girl" section, or no one else liked it. No matter. It sings for me.
--Cookie
Sun Nov 19, 2006 2:59 am
rachelle
Joined: 20 Oct 2006
Posts: 391
Location: california
This is really and interesting one Cook--it is very visual. It reminds me of that movie something Angels w/ Meg Ryan--where at the end of the movie she's found true love and is riding a bike on a mountain road, with her arms outstretched and her head thrown back----then bam! She's hit by a fucking logging truck---I hope that isn't "the smash up" here---I love the visual of the bottle out the window and the wind making it sing--that is beautiful---well done--No crashes are coming, just new beginnings--rachelle
Sun Nov 19, 2006 5:49 am
a topless scientist
Joined: 18 Aug 2006
Posts: 131
Location: Ontario, Canada
I initially had a real big crush on
DeLaur Boulevard
, then I re-read this one this morning and it turns out I love it just as much! Every line is brilliant and the desperation is very poignant.
Warm big Hug,
Ts _________________ No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Sun Nov 19, 2006 1:40 pm
smart_cookie
Joined: 12 Aug 2006
Posts: 2310
Location: USA
quote:Originally posted by a topless scientist:
I initially had a real big crush on
DeLaur Boulevard
, then I re-read this one this morning and it turns out I love it just as much! Every line is brilliant and the desperation is very poignant.
Warm big Hug,
Ts
Aw thank you, Ts, the two poems are really sisters.
quote:
Til the wind catches that bottle
And it sings
Like a spiritual.
Thanks for bringing back that memory. I've never heard a bottle sing while driving. But I did enjoy a windy night while camping once. And there is something awesome about the wind across a bottle, almost like mother nature having the same fun we did as kids the first time someone taught us that trick _________________
"I wish our clever young poets would remember my homely definitions of prose and poetry; that is, prose,—words in their best order; poetry,—the best words in their best order."-Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Sat Jun 23, 2007 3:10 am
Rio
Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Posts: 49
Location: USA
Nice write!
Wed Jun 27, 2007 5:29 am
desert-fish
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted
it's a cool poem smart
Mon Jul 09, 2007 6:44 am
Phoenix Moderators
Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 1664
Location: Tallahassee Florida
quote:Originally posted by smart_cookie_smart:
But, either I was too diabolically clever in hiding it in the "my girl" section, or no one else liked it. No matter. It sings for me.
--Cookie
Yes, you lil diabolical one, YOU HID IT!!!!!
But thanks for teaching me to peruse more than emotional or sensual poetry!
This is excellent per your usual. Lovely visuals and the feelings portrayed in it so well.
great job,
phoenix _________________ "A little work won't hurt you bad, but just in case I'm wrong, you'll be smiling when they pronounce you dead." Amanda Marshall 'This could take all night
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