Thank you Noni and NitWhit for taking the time to post.
I am very sorry it took me so long to reply. I have a good excuse though:
A work related accident.
I will get better soon and being a positivist I will find the time to continue writing, being stuck at home.
Fri Mar 06, 2009 12:25 pm
PipSqueak
Joined: 04 Jul 2008
Posts: 987
Location: S.W. England
Sorry to hear you've hurt urself .... (u've not been ski-ing again , have you??? )
hope ur feeling better soon.
Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:02 pm
angelsheart
Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 496
Location: Nis/ Serbia
What happened, Laurian?? How are you?
_________________ There used to be a grayin' tower all alone on the sea... You became the light on the dark side of me...
Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:49 pm
Laurian
Joined: 19 Jan 2009
Posts: 174
Location: Belgium
Well, to make a long story short about what happened.
One of my students was jealous or angry with me for giving my attention to someone else and I found myself being thrown against the wall.
My back lost the battle against the wall and I am on sick leave now.
I have to lay down a lot to give my back some rest but I am sure I 'll be up and about soon
Oh I wished it was a skiing accident Would make a good story.
Sun Mar 08, 2009 6:31 pm
angelsheart
Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 496
Location: Nis/ Serbia
WHAT???????????? _________________ There used to be a grayin' tower all alone on the sea... You became the light on the dark side of me...
Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:58 pm
Laurian
Joined: 19 Jan 2009
Posts: 174
Location: Belgium
6.
I saw the women dressed in a black hooded cloak that seemed to be caught in the wind. She stood on top of some stairs in the middle of nowhere.
She looked familiar.
I recognized this dark figure. This time she didn’t scare me. I felt the need to go to her. But something held me back.
I tried so hard but I wasn’t able to get any closer. I was getting frustrated.
As in slow motion, she turned around to face me. I couldn’t make out her facials, hidden in the shadows of her hood. By the way she turned and her comportment I sensed loneliness. The sensation was so overwhelming that it chilled me to the bone.
I froze.
I saw how she reached out to me, her fingers spread wide, exclaiming her need. Her whole poise begging me to hold her. Pleading for me to be with her.
I wanted to obey and run up. I tried to force my body to comply but I failed as she stood there, motionless, waiting, crying.
“Nikki honey, wake up!” I heard a voice in the distance.
I felt somebody shaking me gently to wake up. I opened my eyes to see Lynn sitting next to me on the couch. She was leaning in to me and shaking my shoulders softly with both hands. I looked at her and saw the concern in her eyes.
‘I was still at Lynn’s.’ I thought.
“I fell asleep.” I said.
“Yes you did. But you had a bad dream. You were crying.” Lynn spoke in a soft voice. She held on to my shoulders and was still looking into my eyes. Her cat was long gone. She kept staring as she moved her hand from my shoulder to my cheek to wipe away a tear with the softest touch I ever felt. I shivered.
“What were you dreaming, Nikki? Can you recall?” She asked softly.
“Yes, I can but it's so confusing.” I sighed and turned my head to look at the ceiling. Her hand still lingered.
I could feel how Lynn cupped my face and guided my head back to make me look at her again.
“Talk to me, my little stone.” She smiled softly. “I will listen.”
I couldn’t stop staring at her eyes. I felt like I was drowning. Her eyes are so bright. A light touch of green or grey depending on her mood. But I never stared into them for this long.
I was starting to get scared, ‘Nikki, stop staring! Get a grip!’
I licked my lips wondering when they became this dry.
“I'll try.” I said softly. Why did my voice sound so hoarse?
“Hang on.” She said smiling. “Get up for a second and let me get into a listening position.”
She sat down on her couch and made me lay back so my head was resting on her legs. Looking down at me, she gave me a soft smile and waited.
I was so startled by the way my body was tingling from the close contact, that I started talking, hoping I would be able to hide these emotions.
I told her about the dream I just had and how it made me feel. I also mentioned the first dream. She asked me what I had been doing just before the dream and I mentioned my conversation with Gwen. Slowly she managed to get more details. I even found myself telling her about my mixed emotions and feelings for Gwen but I didn’t dare to mention how Lynn made me feel. I saw how she closed her eyes briefly at the mention of Gwen’s name.
She listened and only interrupted me when she wasn’t totally clear with some of the story. When I stopped talking, she gave me a soft smile but said nothing. Only then did I realize that she held my hand. This took me by surprise and I turned my head to look at our hands resting on my stomach.
She spoke, making me return my attention to our conversation.
“People always told me that dreams are often the tools that your sub consciousness uses to let you handle stuff going on in your life.”
I smiled at her. “If that is true, than my life must be pretty messed up.”
She grinned. “I wouldn’t say that. It could mean that you have a lot going on and that you need to take a step back and sort some things out before going further. You told me you are so tired. Have you considered getting your blood examined?”
“My blood? Why would I have to do that?” I asked.
“It could be that you are lacking some vitamins or minerals. That could cause the fatigue.” She stated while she began stroking my hair.
I stared in her eyes and didn’t say a thing. She just stared back with that little smile dancing on her lips. It made me want to kiss those lips and join that dance. It felt like the most normal thing in the world having her holding my hand and gently stroking my hair. I could just fall asleep, feeling loved.
That thought ran through my head and crash landed on top of me. It startled me. I quickly sat upright, surprising Lynn.
“Sweetie', what's wrong.” She asked.
I turned to face her but I didn’t dare to look at her.
“I think I lost track of the time, Lynn. I feel exhausted and it's still a drive home for me so it would be best to head off now before I fall asleep again.”
I stood up, grabbed my sweater and started to make my way to get my coat and the front door. She looked baffled and I could tell that she had no clue what made me react that way.
She stood up and sighed. “You are right. Some sleep will do you good. I'm so happy you came over. I had a wonderful time.”
The soft smile she gave me, made me gasp. ‘O my god’, I thought. ‘How does she do that?’
I still felt the lingering sensation of her hand in mine but I knew it was my imagination running wild. I concentrated on keeping my eyes glued to my coat while I started counting mentally to get my breathing under control.
After Lynn opened her front door, she turned around and gave me a hug. At that moment I knew I was imagining things. There was nothing wrong with this hug. And no it didn’t last longer than normal. Or did it?
I sighed in frustration when her door closed behind me and I told myself to stop getting crazy ideas in my head.
I wondered why I didn’t hear her footsteps walking away from her door.
“There I go again!” I said with a frustrated groan. “Take a deep breath, Nikki and compose yourself.”
I thought I heard somebody else breathing with me.
‘I shouldn’t have been drinking all that wine! Now I am hearing voices.’
I went to my car and drove off. I fled.
Last edited by Laurian on Tue Jul 26, 2011 1:42 pm; edited 2 times in total
Thu Mar 12, 2009 3:56 pm
MysteryGirl Moderators
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder
I'm really enjoying this Laurian - bravo sweetie.
Hope your feeling better and that you will write more soon.
HugZ, Noni _________________ Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!
Thu Mar 12, 2009 10:06 pm
angelsheart
Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 496
Location: Nis/ Serbia
Hope everything is well with you , Laurian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hugssssssss
_________________ There used to be a grayin' tower all alone on the sea... You became the light on the dark side of me...
Fri Mar 13, 2009 9:21 am
Laurian
Joined: 19 Jan 2009
Posts: 174
Location: Belgium
Thank you Noni and Angelsheart,
I am doing better.
The bed rest did me good but staring at the ceiling made me aware that it needs a coat of paint.
So I got up as soon as I could. and I am in a constant state of denial. No paint shall set foot in my home... None Shall Pass (my door)!!
I am wearing a neck brace and it is doing its job but it annoys me to bits
Bless the pain medication that allows me to run around.
I am also thankful that my friends and family keep dragging me out of the house.
I am such a peoples person and staying at home alone ... bweurk.. so not me
So tonight I am off to see a play and tomorrow a concert. On Sunday I will rest as is the sole purpose of that day.
However.. I might write a bit more...
Hope to have my next part in a couple of days. If not I am sure Nikki will ring my doorbell and pout.
Fri Mar 13, 2009 3:54 pm
angelsheart
Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 496
Location: Nis/ Serbia
Have fun, L. ! _________________ There used to be a grayin' tower all alone on the sea... You became the light on the dark side of me...
Sat Mar 14, 2009 1:33 am
Laurian
Joined: 19 Jan 2009
Posts: 174
Location: Belgium
7.
I woke the next morning, feeling drained both physically and mentally. I stumbled to the bathroom and got ready. After a while I realized I was staring at my own reflection in the mirror. I didn’t like what I saw.
“You are a coward!”
My voice broke the silence and my trance-like state. I bowed my head so I wouldn’t have to look at myself anymore. I could feel the tears.
My knees felt weak. I slid down the bathroom wall. My arms encircled my legs and I let my head rest on my knees. I broke down and cried. I was incapable of holding back my flood of tears.
Time stopped for me at that moment. Everything was put to a hold by only one thought that kept running through my mind.
‘Am I attracted to a woman?’.
I am not sure how long I sat on the ground. I heard the alarm on my cell phone go off. I always have that alarm to remind me that I have to leave my house to reach work on time.
The sound startled me and kicked all thoughts out of my head. I got ready in such a hurry that even superman would applaud me. No time for breakfast and I practically ran to my car hoping that it would start smoothly. I was in luck.
After a frantic race against time I arrived at my work in one piece. I was very thankful that I had so much to do that I had no time to think.
Around 18.00pm I drove home feeling exhausted. I hurried and changed clothes before the play rehearsal. I grabbed something to eat while I ran through the house. I'd printed out the newest version of the script and had made copies for all the other actors and Mark. I stuffed it all in my bag and ran out the door. If I had some luck with traffic I would still be on time.
I barely made it.
Everybody was already there. I noticed they hadn’t started yet. I hurried to Mark and gave him his renewed copy. He looked at me before taking the bundle of paper. “Nikki, are you alright?”
I nodded, “I am, Mark. I only wished there were more hours in a day.”
With that I turned around and handed the new script to all the others. We sat down to go through the text. I found it hard to keep concentrating. More than once the others would look at me, waiting. That was my cue to know that I wasn’t paying attention, again.
Mark started getting annoyed with me. “Nikki, what is wrong with you tonight? You are not with us.”
I stuttered an apology. “Mark, I am very sorry. It's been a frantic day and I have been running around from one place to another. I guess I'm tired.”
We made it through the text despite my lack of concentration. The new lyrics were approved and we made some minor finishing touches.
John was sitting by my side and he leaned in to me and whispered, “are you sure everything is alright with you, Nikki?”
I could see from the corner of my eye that Gwen was watching us. She had been glancing at us during rehearsal. Every time that I had missed my cue she would look at me and I saw the question marks in her eyes.
It was the first time that Gwen and I saw each other in person since her confession about her feelings for John. I noticed that when I was looking at her, I didn’t feel anything different. I had been scared to go to the rehearsal. I didn’t trust myself anymore. I had wondered what the confrontation with Gwen would result in. I remembered my odd feelings when we were on the phone.
But I could relax now.
However it left me with the realization that my question was not yet answered. Was it possible that my feelings for Lynn had changed from a deep friendship to attraction?
‘If so, what are you going to do about that Nikki?’
After the rehearsal we usually stay a bit longer to talk and have a drink together. The men were talking about Johns last performance with his band. Gwen took this opportunity to pull me aside.
“Nikki, is everything okay with you?”
I sighed. “I wish people would stop asking me that question. I am doing fine.”
Gwen looked at me intently and shook her head. “You don’t look and act like it, Nikki. I have never seen you this distracted before.”
“Ah, I am okay. Honestly! It is just that I have a lot to do lately and perhaps the lack of sleep is catching up with me.”
I didn’t believe what I was saying but I really don't like to talk about myself. I discovered in my past that sharing your emotions can blow up in your face so I gave up on trusting people. I keep my feelings private.
It was time to change the subject to divert the attention away from me.
“So Gwen, any changes on the romantic front between John and you.”
It worked. I could tell she really wanted to talk about that subject. I gave her a sweet smile as to encourage her.
“Ah Nikki, it is driving me insane. I think that I am so wound up about this that I am going to ask him to drive me home tonight and I will take that opportunity to talk to him.”
I noticed that she was looking at him. I followed her eyes and saw that she had locked gazes with John. I chuckled. That sound made her turn her head and she looked at me, confused and blushing slightly.
“What?” She asked.
I grinned at her, “I don’t think it will be a difficult conversation in Johns car. I just caught you staring at each other. I have a good feeling about this.”
She leaned in to me and whispered, “I am so nervous right now. I don’t think I dare to ask him for a ride.”
I startled her by jumping up and I made my way to John. He watched my approach with a look of surprise on his face.
“Say John, could you drive Gwen home tonight? I need to go over the script with Mark and she is feeling tired.”
I could tell that he saw through my little lie. I gave him a sweet smile. He rolled his eyes at me.
“Of course I can. I will be ready in a few minutes,” he said loud enough for Gwen to hear.
I turned around and walked back to Gwen. Without looking at Gwen I said in a theatrical voice, “ah another job done by super-Nikki. I deserve my own theme song.”
Gwen startled me when she jumped up to hug me. I could feel her soft breath on my ear when she whispered, “remind me to kill you for this later but thank you, Nikki.”
I grinned at her when she released me. She gathered her stuff. I noticed that John was already waiting for her. They walked out together and I felt happy for them.
I grabbed my coat and bag and walked to Mark.
“I am going home now. I will see all of you in a couple of days. Goodnight.”
They all turned towards me to say their goodbyes and Mark gave me a kiss and ordered me to go straight to bed. I had every intention of doing just that.
On my drive home I could feel how drained I was. I was relieved when I drove in to my parking space. ‘Home at last!’
I grabbed my bag from the passenger seat and just when I tried to open my car door I felt an enormous heat in the back of my neck. It traveled from the back to the top of my head and down the front of my brain. When it reached my forehead I felt a sudden intense pain and could see nothing more than white light. At that moment I felt a pressure on my chest. That made it impossible to breath. I noticed a metal taste in my mouth. The pain and not being able to breathe made me panic. This was something I never experienced before. ‘I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die!’ I could think of nothing else.
I am unsure how long it lasted. For me it seemed like an eternity. When the chest pain subsided and I started breathing again I noticed that the white light had gone as well and I could see once more. My body trembled and my headache hadn’t left.
I just sat there. I was unable to move. I tried to relax my breathing. This was not normal to say the least. ‘I really need to see a doctor about this.’
I made it home on shaky legs. I went straight to bed feeling exhausted. I fell asleep before my head even hit the pillow.
Last edited by Laurian on Wed Jul 27, 2011 5:42 pm; edited 2 times in total
Sat Mar 21, 2009 1:32 pm
Laurian
Joined: 19 Jan 2009
Posts: 174
Location: Belgium
8.
Tuesday morning surprised me in my sleep. The alarm clock had to suffer the consequence. I hope I didn’t break it.
Getting ready for work was never one of my favorite moments of the day. So many other things I would rather be doing. If only I didn’t feel this tired. It felt like I hadn’t slept at all. My headache hadn’t subsided.
I noticed I was still wearing my clothes from yesterday. I changed out of them remembering what had happened in my car. I decided that I would call my doctor from work to make an appointment.
Totally dressed and ready to go I took my keys and went on my way.
My car isn't new to say the least. People mock me for it. And I often find notes under my windshield wiper informing me that there is a market for scrap-heaps on wheels like my car. But it still gets me where I need to be. I turned the key and the engine roared like a hoarse lion. That made me smile despite the headache.
The radio blurted the latest hit of a group I don't even want to know. The sound made me flinch so I turned the radio off. I drove out of my parking space and joined the rest of the world in their rat race.
Driving normally relaxes me. Seeing all those people frantically trying to reach their destination always tends to amaze me.
I glanced at the clock before I remember it broke down. You have to love my car. The dashboard lights aren’t working and to open the door I have to use a little trick. The outside of the car is even worse. The rusted accident-prone look, helps me to squeeze through traffic.
It seems my car screams to the new and expensive looking others:
‘LET ME PASS! I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE MY BODY WORK! ONE SCRATCH MORE DOES NOT MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO ME!’
It works, let me tell you.
Already I found myself in heavy traffic struggling to reach the highway. Once there I fell in to that state where you seem to drive on autopilot. It will take me forty minutes to reach my destination and I let my mind drift.
I tasted metal in my mouth again and it all went black.
I heard someone knocking.
“Yes dad, I'll get up.” I groaned. I tried opening my eyes but something sticky was preventing that. I tried to move my hand to touch my eyes but I failed to control it. The attempt made me aware off the pain I was feeling in my head.
“Stop knocking.” I pleaded.
“Miss, are you alright?” I heard a man's voice talking to me. “Sit tight, we will get you out.”
“Where am I?” I managed to ask weakly. I wanted to ask what was wrong with my eyes but I couldn’t find the strength.
The same man answered. I could feel someone touching my hand. “You're all right, miss. You have been in a car accident. I am a member of the fire department and we are working on getting you out.
I felt my head starting to pound.
“Tell my dad I‘ll have some toast”
The man answered. “Hang in there, miss. It ..”
I didn’t hear anything else. The sounds seemed to disappear.
*****
I looked around and noticed I was standing in a desert. The sun stood high in the sky. The hot sand should burn my bare feet but it didn’t.
‘How wonderful.’ I thought. ‘Thank goodness that I am not wearing shoes.’
“I like the feel of the sand on my toes!” I said out loud.
“So do I”
I turned around quickly. Behind me stood a woman. She was wearing a beautiful long dress that looked like it was made of the finest silk. Different layers were flowing around her body. But it was not the fabric nor the style that took my breath away. It was the color. I saw the deepest, warmest shades of orange, yellow and red. The combination of colors and the intensity gave the impression that she was glowing. She looked surreal.
“You look like a summer sunset” I whispered.
She smiled.
I knew I was staring at her. “Are you an angel?” I asked.
When she spoke I felt so at peace. “I could be an angel but that is up to you.”
She must have seen that her answer surprised me.
“Am I dead?”
“You have to go now”, she said with a soft smile.
I was startled. “How can I go? I don't know where I am.”
Her smile widened and she said, “you will see, Nikki. Just open up.”
“What do you mean?”
She just stood there smiling and staring in my eyes. I could see how she raised her eyebrow, still smiling, when I heard somebody talk.
*****
“Nikki, open your eyes!”
*****
She waved as I was floating away. “We will meet again soon, Nikki.”
I shouted, “don’t leave me!”
*****
I could hear Lynn’s voice answering. “I won’t. Open your eyes, Nikki.”
I did.
I could tell I was in the hospital. Lynn was sitting by my side.
“Lynn..” I could only whisper her name. She must have heard though because I saw her eyes lit up. She was holding my hand. I could feel her light squeeze.
“Nikki, you are alright...”
She was saying more but I couldn’t focus enough. I felt the blackness returning and she was gone.
Something was brushing my hand. I tried to shake it off but it lingered. I opened my eyes to see what it was. Lynn was still sitting by my side. Her head was resting on the bed and a lock of her hair had fallen on my hand. I tried to move but the instant pain made me inhale. I groaned.
Lynn must have heard because she woke up and looked at me. “Welcome back.”
“What happened?” I croaked. My throat felt so dry. “Could I have something to drink?”
Lynn stood up and took a cup with a straw from the locker next to my bed. She held it to my mouth. “Just take little sips, Nikki.”
The sensation of water in my mouth felt wonderful. Lynn made sure I didn’t drink too much.
I looked at Lynn when she placed the cup back. “What happened?”
Lynn took my hand again and looked me straight in the eye. “You‘ve been in a car accident. You must have dozed off or something. You slammed into the railing.”
I whispered. “Where is the sunset lady?”
This question surprised Lynn. I saw it in her eyes. “Who?”
“I am so tired, Lynn.”
She gently caressed my cheek and leaned in to me without losing eye contact. “Go back to sleep, honey. I will be here when you wake up. We will talk then.”
I closed my eyes with a little smile and sighed, “thank you, Lynn. I love you.”
I could feel the blackness returning but just before it engulfed me I felt a soft sensation on my lips and a whispered reply, “I love you too.”
Last edited by Laurian on Wed Jul 27, 2011 5:46 pm; edited 2 times in total
Thu Mar 26, 2009 3:30 pm
NitWhit
Joined: 17 Jun 2008
Posts: 55
Location: United States
I miss you and your awesome story
Thu Apr 02, 2009 12:10 am
MysteryGirl Moderators
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder
Yeah, been wondering how Nikki is? She's been in Hospital for DAYS now lol.
HugZ, Noni _________________ Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!
Thu Apr 02, 2009 8:40 am
Laurian
Joined: 19 Jan 2009
Posts: 174
Location: Belgium
ah ladies, I haven't forgotten you. But reminding me about not leaving a story untold for too long is really smart. I tend to forget things. One of these days I will forget my name, I am sure.
So here a next part...
*************
9.
I heard voices. They were not making any sense and they seemed to drift in and out of the room. That couldn’t be right. I tried to concentrate and was able to determine that three people were talking. I recognized Lynn and focused on the two male voices. I felt a shock.
‘That is my father!’
“Dad?” I forced my eyes open.
I could see three people starting at me. They were standing at the door of my hospital room. The third person, I could see that he was a male nurse, turned towards my father. “I will get the doctor now.” He smiled at me just before he left.
Both Lynn and my father walked to my bed side.
“Dad!” I tried to sit up but failed. I felt how Lynn’s hand held me back.
“Don’t move, Nikki.” They both said at the same time.
“I can’t even if I wanted to.” I sulked.
It felt like someone had dropped an anvil on my chest, making it very hard for me to breathe. My head seemed stuffed full of cotton and somebody must have installed a gong inside my skull. The bright light in the room made me clench my eyes as it made the pounding in my head seem even worse.
My father saw my need. He closed the curtains and then returned to my side. He gently sat down on the edge of the bed and took my hand in his big hands. He looked at me and I could tell that he was worried.
“Sweetheart, you‘ve been in a car accident. Apparently you nodded off. Your car is a wreck but that's no surprise. The hospital phoned me and I called Lynn.” He stopped talking and gave me a kiss on my hand. I could see tears welling up in his eyes.
That surprised me because my father never showed his emotions. I only saw him cry at my mother's funeral. As a child I have tried to talk to him about my mother but he always told me that it was no use dwelling in the past. I had to move forward and things were better left behind. So I kept silent about her and kept the feelings of loss buried deep in my heart. That is when I learned to keep quiet and to hide my emotions inside.
I swallowed. “How bad is it?”
I felt how Lynn moved her hand from my shoulder to grab my other hand.
“It's not that bad, Nikki.” She spoke with a soft voice. I turned my head to look at her.
My father grinned. “The guardrail will live.”
That comment made me smile.
“Thank goodness for that.” I said softly. “How is Nikki doing?” I turned back to Lynn.
Lynn gave me a little smile and I could tell she was trying to reassure me. “The doctor will explain that to you. From what I can tell you have a head injury and your shoulder is wrapped up. You have a lot of bruises and I imagine you will look like a rainbow in a couple of days.”
At that moment the door swung open and a tall older man entered the room followed by the male nurse.
The older man stood at the foot end of my bed. Grabbed the chart that was hanging there and then looked at me. “Ah, I was told that our sleeping beauty is awake. I am doctor Stanton. I have been treating you since you entered our hospital. How are you feeling?”
I could tell that my father and Lynn were looking at me as well.
“I am okay but I hope that stampede didn’t trample other people besides me.”
The doctor laughed after that comment. “I imagine it must feel like that.”
I sighed. “So? What's wrong with me?”
He nodded, looked at my medical chart and then back to me. “As I already explained to your father, you have a nasty head injury and lost a lot of blood. We assume you have a concussion but luckily there is no swelling in your brain. However we will need to monitor that for a couple of days. You have a fractured collarbone and bruised ribs from slamming into your steering wheel. There is also the possibility of internal bleeding. So we need to keep you in observation for that as well. We will try to help you to be as comfortable as possible with pain medication.”
He paused for a moment to give me some time to let all this sink in. After a few seconds he broke the silence. “Can I ask you what happened? Can you remember?”
I looked at the ceiling trying to focus.
“I was driving to work. The morning traffic wasn’t that bad. I think that I was not paying that much attention but that wasn’t the cause. I blacked out.”
I hesitated.
“It happened before but I wasn’t driving then.”
This had gotten the doctors interest. I noticed that my father was staring at me and I heard Lynn gasp when I said that.
I told them what had occurred in my car on Monday evening. By the time I mentioned how scared I had been I felt Lynn squeezing my hand. I didn’t dare to look at her so I kept staring at the doctor. He was nodding at me when I finished talking. He could see that I was out of breath after that monologue.
He spoke, “well miss, there is the matter with your heart.” He turned his gaze to my medical chart again.
I was shocked. “What do you mean, my heart?”
Doctor Stanton looked up and watched my startled expression.
“Ah, just as I thought. You have no clue what I am talking about.”
I hate it when people look at me with that expression that seemed to state ‘I am terribly sorry but...!’
He handed the chart to the nurse who took a step back and leaned against the wall opposite to my bed. He watched me as the doctor started talking.
“Well miss Lambert, when you arrived in our emergency room yesterday morning you were unconscious. We noticed that you had an irregular heartbeat. We have monitored you since then. Actually you have a heart monitor on you right now. It is connected to the nurses' station.”
He saw my surprise and moved to the bed. My father stepped back and leaned on the windowsill. Doctor Stanton softly lowered my sheets and showed me a little machine that was connected to my chest.
I looked at doctor Stanton who remained standing next to me.
“What does this mean?”
He looked at me. With a sigh he took a chair and sat beside me.
“Look Nikki. Mind if I call you Nikki?”
I shook my head but kept quiet.
He continued. “Here is the problem. We need to do more tests before I can give you a definite answer. There are a number of possibilities but all imply that we need to take a closer look. I hope you understand?”
I nodded but I think he could clearly see that the news had shocked me.
“I understand that this is overwhelming seeing you had an accident and all. However, let me ask you a question. Have you been feeling ill or tired lately?”
He motioned to the nurse to start writing down what I would reply.
I thought about it for a second.
“I've not been feeling ill but I've felt a bit tired.”
He nodded. “Was that a bit tired or a lot?”
I shrugged with my good shoulder. “The normal tired from working too much.”
He smiled after that answer and looked at me. “Do you consider yourself to be an active person?”
I nodded.
“What do you do?” He asked.
He really seemed interested so I gave him a list, “I ride my bike, do some running, I love to play some tennis and..”
He stopped me to ask, “when was the last time you did any of those?”
“It has been a while” I smiled.
“Why is that?” He asked.
“Because I felt too ti...,” my voice drifted off.
“Tired?” He gave me a knowing smile.
I looked at him wide eyed. I realized just then that I haven’t had a good run for a long time.
“What does that mean?” I must have sounded scared.
He took my hand and with a serious expression on his face. “I will not lie to you. It has me concerned. There are a number of things that may cause this. I want to be sure. I hope you agree that we must look in to this.”
I nodded my head slightly but he noticed it.
“I'll arrange for the tests I need to be able to make an evaluation with our medical team. Some of these tests we can start already but others need to wait a bit until you feel better because they are not that pleasant.”
I sighed. He gave me an apologizing smile.
“I promise Nikki that I will come back to you when I know more.”
After that he stood up and started leaving my room.
Just then I found the energy to mumble a thank you.
He turned around and gave me a sweet smile.
“Hang in there, miss Lambert.”
When they left I felt scared. Looking up at the ceiling I started thinking about all that was said. I wasn’t too worried about my injuries. The thing that frightened me was not knowing what was wrong with my heart.
My father broke the silence. “Sweetheart, do not over think this too much. We will deal with it when they know what is wrong.”
Lynn asked softly. “Why didn’t you go to the hospital on Monday evening?”
I hesitated and tried to come up with a good reason. I couldn’t find one.
I avoided her gaze and looked at the wall behind her. “I didn’t think about that option, Lynn. I was scared that I would die but when that didn’t happen I just wanted to sleep.”
When she didn’t reply I looked at her. She was looking at my hand that she was still holding. I could see a tear starting to roll down her cheek. I felt how a lump formed in my throat. It started to hurt. I wanted to reassure her. I wanted to hold her.
“Lynn, I am so sorry ...”
At that moment a nurse stepped into my room. “Ah, good to see you awake, miss Lambert,” she said in a cheerful manner. “I think it is time for another shot of that pain medication. If the family could step outside please. I have some work to do.” She gave me a wink after that statement.
My father gave me a kiss on my forehead and whispered, “I'll see you tomorrow, Nikki. I am going to buy Lynn a coffee and we will leave you to rest. Try not to worry, everything is taken care of.”
I turned to see him leave the room. Lynn stood and waited for me to look at her. “I‘ll return tomorrow. I will phone Mark tonight. Your work has been warned already. Try to get some sleep, honey. We'll talk tomorrow.”
She came closer and gave me a soft kiss on my cheek but ever so close to the corner of my mouth. It felt so wonderful. I smiled when she looked at me.
“That was nice.”
I could tell that she started to blush. “That must be the medication talking.”
Lynn squeezed my hand before letting go and she left my room.
The nurse looked at me and gave me an apologizing smile. “This might hurt a bit.”
It did.
Last edited by Laurian on Wed Jul 27, 2011 5:48 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Sorry to hear you've hurt urself .... (u've not been ski-ing again , have you??? 
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